From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Zombie Hamsters were the result when the US government began their top secret government experimentation on animals. Flaws were to be expected, however what was not expected was the creation of a new breed of hamster. The U.S. government was researching ways to create super hamsters able to infiltrate Al Qaeda’s hideouts relatively anonymous. However, to speed up production the hamsters were injected with ZX13, a newly discovered aging product we hoped would speed up the revolutionary evolutionary metamorphic process. When we stepped out of the lab room and into the observation deck we witnessed horrific events. The patients, veins literally bubbled out of their skin, their eyes bulged literally out of their skulls, and their skin tone turned a dark tan mixed with a greenish orange hue, a color only best described by Crayola as Neon Carrot.
edit Results of Experimentation
The brain wave scanners picked up an unprecedented brain activity neuron spike, before their brain activity went off the chart. When we returned the patients to their holding cages, they became mad. When feeding time came, they refused any and all food; however one guard, Hugh Mann was bit in the restraining process of one of the zombie hamsters. Lt. Hugh Mann’s bacterial analysis sample taken from his infected wound showed the patient had transferred not only the aging process but the [super-hamster serum. When the scientists searched for the guard he was found missing at his post. Contact with this top secret government facility was lost shortly after.
edit Attempts to recapture the facility.
When news of the loss of the facility hit the pentagon an aggregation of accredited, dignified, glorified, soldiers were deployed to perform a reconnaissance mission. The team led by Jack Nicholson, was sent out to clarify the status of the research facility, if needed to provide extermination of all unwanted contaminants, and finally to protect the facility at all costs. Contact with the team was lost approximately one hour after breach of the main gates. Since then the entire complex has been locked off and rumors of a thermal nuclear warhead explosion to erase all containments still remains.