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Zodialogical Government is the matriarchy made out of the most powerful animals of each race. It is the basis for the Chinese Zodiac that everyone should know about.
History of Zodialogical Government
A long time ago the animals were created by God's boredom when it broke off and turned into the great beast Narylionarith (later shortened to lion). They decided that the new creation, man, should be ruled by the animals, and so chose the best of each species to go to a secret underground cavern located beneath Madagascar with a color-changing moon and peach juice with the power of immortality.
The animals later found out that one of the religious leaders of the world, Buddha, was dying, so they quickly went and murdered him. They then elected the top twelve animals and placed them in control of China. This is were the theory of Chinese Zodiac was created.
Changing of the Guard in Zodialogical Government
Every time there is a red and blue moon in the cavern the animals elect a new twelve to lead them. However, the original twelve decided to confuse the world by not letting the chinese tell other people the new animals. That is why the signs are almost always wrong.
Members of the Electable in Zodialogical Government
There are currently 37 animals that can be elected, and all of them have been elected once. There have only been three re-elections in the history of existence.
Ox Those under the ox are sold into cheap labor.
Tiger Those under the tiger are prone to move to Japan and become samurais.
Rabbit Those under the rabbit are cute and fuzzy.
Dragon Those under the dragon are usually labelled as pyromaniacs.
Snake Those under the snake are backstabbing fiends.
Horse Those under the horse are great for riding.
Sheep Those under the sheep are experts at the tastes of wool.
Monkey Those under the monkey are intelligent and can figure out the most efficient way of peeling bananas.
Rooster Those under the rooster are going to like women no matter what.
Dog Those under the dog are loyal only to man and squirrels.
Pig Those under the pig are fat.
Cat Those under the cat are to cough up hairballs.
Unicorn Those under the unicorn are pretty and sadistic.
The coolest fucking species ever Those under the coolest fucking species ever are, like, so fucking cool!
Gerbil Those under the gerbil are midgets.
Squid Those under the squid are easily startled and will shoot ink while running away.
Lion Those under the lion are the great and powerful henchmen of Narylionarith.
Clam Those under the clam are not going to let you take their shiny balls.
Wookie Those under the wookie are stupid and shout undecipherable shouts while shooting things.
Aaardvark Those under the aaardvark are the ones mosst liklly too spelll words with tooo mannnny lleetteerrss.
Llama Those under the llama are going to turn into ducks.
Duck Those under the duck are are going to kill all life.
Pigeon Those under the pigeon are going to be chased by you. In Soviet Russia, pigeon chase YOU!!
Iguana Those under the iguana are lazy bums that just suntan all day.
Pikachu Those under the pikachu are all dead.
Ostrich Those under the ostrich are fast.
Gorilla Those under the gorilla are smart and can figure out the best way of peeling bananas.
Peafowl Those under the peafowl are goinbg to clean sewers.
Borg Those under the borg are ging to assimilate the world.
Teagun Those under the teagun are sadistic beasts that care only about murder and anime.
Oompa-loompa Those under the oompa-loopa are terrible singers.
Koopa Those under the koopa are going to attack plumbers and wizards.
Cow Those under the cow are going to be generous and give fresh milk to the incompetent.
Hippocampus Those under the hippocampus are going to look like strange fusions of to completely different things and then kill seniors.
Scarab Those under the scarab are the minions of the sun god Ra.
Gibbon Those under the gibbon are not dumb and can figure out the fastest way of peeling bananas.