Laughter is the best medicine
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Laughter is a chemically-synthesised clinical drug which causes whomever who consumes it to experience an overwhelming feeling of euphoria, joy or insanity. It is frequently reputed to be the best medicine in the world as it has been proven to be effective at combating many forms of illness.
However, due to the increased levels of sadness and depression in the world, it has been estimated that almost 20% of all people don't get enough Laughter. To help combat this, companies have been selling laughter for the last decade in order to both improve world health, and to develop a substitute for tobacco.
Below are instructions for taking laughter which have been approved by the WHO, the AMA and Hershall Krustofski.
Laughter: take one to two doses every three to four minutes. Do not exceed twelve doses in twenty seconds. Children under twelve and pregnant women close to labour should not take unless directed by a clown. Alternatively , one may read Uncyclopedia for their daily dosage of the drug.
Feelings of depression, sickness, pain and general stupidity. (also see alcohol)
edit Side effects
Short term: Side effects may include feelings of death, sore faces/ribs, vomiting, urinating and, in extreme cases, happiness. If you succumb to any of the above symptoms, consult a doctor, mortician or bully as appropriate.
Long Term: Long term side effects of regular doses can cause wrincles, good humour and increased lifespan. If you suffer from any of the above, please consult Nivia, another bully, or a murderer as appropriate.
In the event of an overdose, ring the emergency authorities immediately. Unlike other poisonous substances, laughter cannot be treated by giving the person more fresh air or inducing vomiting, (indeed, the oxygen in the air may react with the laughter and burn the patient from the inside out). Instead, laughter must be treated by administering a swift painful kick to the groin, preferably given by a friend, or at least someone who knows when to stop kicking.
Laughter is an addictive substance and long term use can result in dependence. Several agencies have been set up to help people overcome these addictions. Most of these places use other addictive drugs such as marijuana in their treatment and as a result they are the main cause of the 60s.
edit Laws of Use
Recent laws passed by the U.N. have made it illegal to laugh in public places. This has caused a great deal of unemployment for many clowns and comedians, not to mention uncyclopedia workers, who have been reduced to begging on streets FURTHER AWAY from the ones they usually beg on,(remember uncyclopedia is a non-profit website).
Since these laws have been introduced, complaints of the common cold have increased by 3million per cent. This has prompted many doctors to begin prescribing laughter to many patients for conditions ranging from the cold to lockjaw and cancer.