Your Dad
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Okay... I'm in charge here.”
~ Tommy Lee Jones(universal father figure)
“I am your father.”
~ Darth Vader on extramarital affairs with Queen Amidala
“The Kid is not my son, those are... ”
~ Michael Jackson on Passing the buck
“I have nothing to declare, except that my sexual preference and the public views towards it in this time mean that I will not be a father anytime soon.”
~ Oscar Wilde on not having kids
Your dad, like your mom, is an important figure in your life, paying bills and supporting other family members as well. Without your dad, you would not be able to get into college, nor would you even be born! You are a product of his semen, and you should share a close bond with him.
Active father figures have a key role to play in reducing behaviour problems in boys and psychological problems in young women.For example, children who experience significant father involvement tend to exhibit higher scores on assessments of cognitive development, enhanced social skills and fewer behavior problems.
To support the importance of a father figure, children who were raised without fathers perceive themselves to be less cognitively and physically competent than their peers from father-present families. Mothers raising children without fathers reported more severe disputes with their child. Sons raised without fathers showed more feminine but no less masculine characteristics of gender role behavior.
[edit] Your Father Has Control Over You!!
Your dad is often seen as an authority figure. The father authority exercises repression over sexual desire. A common observation among scholars is that the authority of the father and of the political leader are closely intertwined, that there is a symbolic identification between domestic authority and national political leadership In this sense, links have been shown between the concepts of "patriarchal", "paternalistic", "cult of personality", "fascist", "totalitarian", "imperial". The fundamental common grounds between domestic and national authority, are the mechanisms of naming (exercise the authority in someone's name) and identification. In a patriarchal society, authority typically uses such rhetoric of fatherhood and family to implement their rule and advocate its legitimacy.
In the Roman and aristocratic patriarchal family, "the husband and the father had a measure of political authority and served as intermediary between the household and the polity." In Western culture patriarchy and authority have been synonymous. In the 19th century Europe, the idea was common, among both traditionalist and revolutionaries, that the authority of the domestic father should "be made omnipotent in the family so that it becomes less necessary in the state". In the second part of that century, there was an extension of the authority of the husband over his wife and the authority of the father over his children, including "increased demands for absolute obedience of children to the father". Europe saw the rise of "new ideological hegemony of the nuclear family form and a legal codification of patriarchy", which was contemporary with the solid spread of the "nation-state model as political norm of order".
[edit] Which One Is Your Dad?
Natural/Biological father - the most common category: child product of man and woman. If this is the case, then you are one lucky man!
Birth father - the biological father of a child who, due to adoption or parental separation, does not raise the child or cannot take care of one.
Surprise father - where the men did not know that there was a child until possibly years afterwards
Posthumous father - father died before children were born (or even conceived in the case of artificial insemination)
Teenage father/youthful father - associated with teenage sexual intercourse
Non-parental father - unmarried father whose name does not appear on child's birth certificate: does not have legal responsibility but continues to have financial responsibility (UK)
Sperm donor father - a genetic connection but man does not have legal or financial responsibility if conducted through licensed clinics
Pedo-Father - Your actual father who likes to have to sex with you and/or your siblings usually without the consent of the mother. This type of father may or may not contract the help of your pedophile uncles.
