Your Problem

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Picasso dora maar seated
Don't you like this picture? Well, that's Your Problem.
“Don't you like this page?”
~ Mr T on Your problem

Hey! Do you want to know what your problem is? Lucky you. The Uncyclopedia will tell you.

edit Definition

Your problem is an unbeatable rhetorical technique. Together with the russian reversal and the Teenage inversal it forms the group arguments known as the Holy Trinity of Unreason. It is a waterproof method for meeting hidden or overt criticism and should not be confused with the S.E.P phenomenon, which is really Somebody Else's Problem .

edit Construction

The semantic construction of your problem is a two sentence phrase. The first phrase contains an abbreviated formulation of the criticism to be met, called narratio. The narratio can stand alone and can then also be called divisio , but more often the narratio is preceded by a negative affirmation in the interrogative tense called the exordium.

The second sentence consists of one main statement preceded by a conjugative acclamation. In English, this is most often "well". The main statement that contains the peratorio consists of your problem in determinative form.
Brain problem

The significance of this statement is that the very force of the peratorio makes the argumentatio superfluous, a feature that is common for all techniques in the family of Unreason. The funtionalistic school, however, implies that the argumentatio is present, but silent like the 'h' in the English word hour.

An example following the functionalist analysis:

  • Exordium: xxxxxx Don't you like
  • Narratio: xxxxxxxx my face?
  • Argumentatio: xxx Well,........
  • Peratorio: xxxxxxx that's your problem!



edit History

The origin of your problem is unclear. The first confirmed occurrence in literature comes from Tacitus. He reports that the exasperated protesters against the Roman prey of the Samnites women was successfully met by an early Latin version of your problem. In this case, ditto for the Samnites.

edit Usage

BUSH FINGER
Don't you like this man and his politics? Guess whose problem that is.

edit Therapy

Your problem is a necessity in psychotherapy. In fact, the entire trade is based on the assumption that you have it, but you are unwilling to admit it. The main therapeutic technique is therefore to create a safe environment that will lure you, the patient, to talk freely about yourself as if it isn't Your Problem , while the therapist waits for a good opportunity to smash in that indeed it is.

edit Politics

Politics is strange in that sense that all matters politicians deal with really are their problem (a plural 3rd person variance of Your problem). Success in politics demands though that this fact can be obscured by the Blame somebody else -syndrome. This topic, though, is far too elaborate to be covered by this short article the limited server space of Wikicities.

In parlimentarian democracy, political rhetoric takes a peculiar 180 degree turn right before elections, when the state of affairs for a short while becomes our responsability in each election campaign. After election though, it is soon discovered that this too was nothing else than good old your problem. basicly, your problem is bush.

edit Economy

The main field of trade jurisdiction deals with establishing the fact that any discomfort on your side due to unfullfilled business agreements is basically your problem. The street-smart version of this activity is called fast talk and is not of any lesser magnitude.

edit Examples of Your problem

Shirtspill
Oh shit! Trouser stain!

(If in doubt - just make a reality check)

  • The leaking cylinder in the car you bought yesterday
  • Your dislike for that tall, hairy biker that pushed himself before you in line
  • Illegitimate demands from the IRS
  • Nobody believing your theory that the Mujaheddins crashing two planes really were Israelis in cooperation with the CIA.
  • That weird guy that keeps following you around after you caved in and agreed to meet him for lunch a week ago and now he calls you every day and sends you emails every hour asking you when he can meet up with you again no matter how many times you ignore him he just won't go away so grow a pair Michelle and tell him to fuck off already!
  • You realise that your president is way crazy.

For guys:

  • Her headache
  • Her infidelity
  • Her legal claims after your infidelity

For gals:

  • His sloppy manners around the house
  • His inability to locate your g-spot
  • His interest in that cute little waitress


edit See also

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