Your Math Tutor

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Trigonometry, Limits, Integrals, e, Natural log, Common log, Powers, and Functions: Making functions and operators upright (math typesetting))
 
(2 intermediate revisions by one user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
[[File:Mathtutor.jpg|thumb|150px|Me and my shirt will help you pass that test "man."]]
+
[[File:Mathtutor.jpg|thumb|150px|Me and my shirt will help you pass that test, "man."]]
What's happening, "[[dude]]?" I heard that you some help with your [[math]] class. It just so happens "my dog" that I have the "pro skills" needed to help you. Now, I know that math isn't considered "wicked," or "sweet", but I am going to show you how math can be both "wicked," and "sweet." I realize that this may seem "[[Puberty|awkward]]" to you, but just treat me like your "[[Douche|bro]]," and everything will just flow into that little "cap" of yours, but above all remember, I'm here for you, as '''Your Math Tutor'''.
+
What's happening, "[[dude]]?" I heard that you need some help with your [[math]] class. It just so happens, "my dog," that I have the "pro skills" needed to help you. Now, I know that math isn't considered "wicked" or "sweet," but I am going to show you how math can be both "wicked" and "sweet." I realize that this may seem "[[Puberty|awkward]]" to you, but just treat me like your "[[Douche|bro]]," and everything will just flow into that little "cap" of yours, but above all, remember that I'm here for you as '''Your Math Tutor'''.
   
 
==Addition and Subtraction==
 
==Addition and Subtraction==
[[File:Mathtutorboard.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Whenever I feel "[[down]]" I just write random math equations on the board! Now, doesn't that feel better.]]
+
[[File:Mathtutorboard.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Whenever I feel "[[down]]," I just write random math equations on the board! Now, doesn't that feel better?]]
 
'''''Tutor''''': Now, "home skillet," I'd like to start off with something simple: addition and subtraction.
 
'''''Tutor''''': Now, "home skillet," I'd like to start off with something simple: addition and subtraction.
   
 
'''''Home Skillet''''': I'm in pre-calculus, not kindergarten.
 
'''''Home Skillet''''': I'm in pre-calculus, not kindergarten.
   
'''''Tutor''''': Yes, I know you're in [[Hell|pre-calculus]], but it's always good to go back over the basics. Now addition and subtraction are super "whack." The set-up for these problems is:
+
'''''Tutor''''': Yes, I know you're in [[Hell|pre-calculus]], but it's always good to go back over the basics. Now, addition and subtraction are super "whack." The set-up for these problems is:
   
 
<math>a+b=c</math>
 
<math>a+b=c</math>
Line 22: Line 22:
 
'''''G-unit''''': This is [[Idiot|retardedly]] simple. I need to study for my test, not be patronized.
 
'''''G-unit''''': This is [[Idiot|retardedly]] simple. I need to study for my test, not be patronized.
   
'''''Tutor''''': I'm not patronizing you! This is important "Dude-asaurus." Now I'm going to start on subtraction, which is "radical" as well. It's always in the form:
+
'''''Tutor''''': I'm not patronizing you! This is important, "Dude-asaurus." Now I'm going to start on subtraction, which is "radical" as well. It's always in the form:
   
 
<math>a-b=c</math>
 
<math>a-b=c</math>
   
'''''Tutor''''': I'll give you some examples too.
+
'''''Tutor''''': I'll give you some examples, too.
   
 
<math>100-58=42</math>
 
<math>100-58=42</math>
Line 34: Line 34:
 
<math>1586-1544=42</math>
 
<math>1586-1544=42</math>
   
'''''Tutor''''': Ha Ha! All the answers are [[42|forty-two]], get it "Broseph?"
+
'''''Tutor''''': Ha Ha! All the answers are [[42|forty-two]], get it, "Broseph?"
   
'''''Dude-asaurus''''': ...This is stupid. Now you're just making fun of me.
+
'''''Dude-asaurus''''': This is stupid. Now you're just making fun of me.
   
'''''Tutor''''': No I'm not! This is really "far out!"
+
'''''Tutor''''': No, I'm not! This is really "far out!"
   
 
==Multiplication and Division==
 
==Multiplication and Division==
[[File:Mathtutorhat.jpg|thumb|200px|Why aren't you taking me seriously "stud?" I'm wearing my "math tutor" hat!]]
+
[[File:Mathtutorhat.jpg|thumb|200px|Why aren't you taking me seriously, "stud?" I'm wearing my "math tutor" hat!]]
 
'''''Tutor''''': Ok, now we'll move to multiplication and divis-
 
'''''Tutor''''': Ok, now we'll move to multiplication and divis-
   
Line 58: Line 58:
 
<math>0*4=0</math>
 
<math>0*4=0</math>
   
'''''Tutor''''': All you have to remember here is zero times anything is always zero. Isn't that totally "choice?"
+
'''''Tutor''''': All you have to remember here is that zero times anything is always zero. Isn't that totally "choice?"
   
 
'''''Leonit-izzle''''': <small>I'll bet that's also how many girls you've had sex with.</small>
 
'''''Leonit-izzle''''': <small>I'll bet that's also how many girls you've had sex with.</small>
   
'''''Tutor''''': No, that isn't how many girls I've slept with, you "brat salandwich".
+
'''''Tutor''''': No, that isn't how many girls I've slept with, you "brat salandwich."
   
 
<math>\frac{a}{b}=c</math>
 
<math>\frac{a}{b}=c</math>
Line 78: Line 78:
 
'''''Diggity''''': I already know this though!
 
'''''Diggity''''': I already know this though!
   
'''''Tutor''''': I ''know'' you know this, "small fry;" I'm just driving home a point.
+
'''''Tutor''''': I ''know'' you know this, "small fry"; I'm just driving home a point.
   
 
'''''Small Fry''''': <small>I get the point. The point is you're a fucking retard.</small>
 
'''''Small Fry''''': <small>I get the point. The point is you're a fucking retard.</small>
   
==Alegbra==
+
==Algebra==
 
[[File:Angryman42.jpg|thumb|left|150px|I'm just a little "cheesed off" right now.]]
 
[[File:Angryman42.jpg|thumb|left|150px|I'm just a little "cheesed off" right now.]]
 
'''''Tutor''''': Ok, you little "Velocibrat," you need to be "chill" right now, or else you might get a B in [[Video games|pre-calculus]]!
 
'''''Tutor''''': Ok, you little "Velocibrat," you need to be "chill" right now, or else you might get a B in [[Video games|pre-calculus]]!
Line 88: Line 88:
 
'''''Velocibrat''''': Oh no. Not a B. That would be such a "drag."
 
'''''Velocibrat''''': Oh no. Not a B. That would be such a "drag."
   
'''''Tutor''''': Ok now, alegbra is set up in a "nifty" little way, like this:
+
'''''Tutor''''': Ok now, algebra is set up in a "nifty" little way, like this:
   
 
<math>ax+b=cx+d</math>
 
<math>ax+b=cx+d</math>
Line 100: Line 100:
 
<math>x=4</math>
 
<math>x=4</math>
   
'''''Tutor''''': Well you haven't had an outburst in a while so I guess I'll actually be able to teach you something today, "Hamaroni." Solving for x can be more difficult sometimes
+
'''''Tutor''''': Well you haven't had an outburst in a while so I guess I'll actually be able to teach you something today, "Hamaroni." Solving for x can be more difficult sometimes.
   
 
<math>4x=2x+8</math>
 
<math>4x=2x+8</math>
Line 118: Line 118:
 
'''''Kraken McFearsome''''': So, I can just put x=4 for all of these.
 
'''''Kraken McFearsome''''': So, I can just put x=4 for all of these.
   
'''''Tutor''''': No, you can't just put x=4 on all of thes- actually you know what, that's it you little cheeseball. I was going to try to get you ready for your math test, but you know what? I can't take any more of your attitude!
+
'''''Tutor''''': No, you can't just put x=4 on all of thes- actually you know what, that's it, you little cheeseball. I was going to try to get you ready for your math test, but you know what? I can't take any more of your attitude!
   
 
==Trigonometry, Limits, Integrals, e, Natural log, Common log, Powers, and Functions==
 
==Trigonometry, Limits, Integrals, e, Natural log, Common log, Powers, and Functions==
 
'''''Tutor''''': Here, do this problem while I go have a "[[sex|study session]]" with one of the other tutors.
 
'''''Tutor''''': Here, do this problem while I go have a "[[sex|study session]]" with one of the other tutors.
 
<math>
 
<math>
y= (\frac {e^{\frac{x^2-lnx+x^5(\lim_{x \to 1}x+3x+4)}{\pi csc^2(3x)-x^3+\frac{1}{x}-5}}+16x-5}{sin(cos(3x))-\lim_{x \to 0^+}(\frac{x+3}{x})(\frac{x-1}{x^2+4})-e^{2x}+tan^2x-\frac{1}{ln(e^x)(\sqrt{9+x^2}})}) \int_\frac{\pi}{(ln(2+5x)-\int_0^1x^2dx}^\frac {\lim_{x \to \frac{\pi}{2}}cos(\frac{x}{4})+\frac{2}{\pi}x}{ln(e^{(tan(tan^{-1}(x)))}} \frac{(\frac {\frac {e^x}{2} - \lim_{x \to 8} ((\frac {3}{x})lnx^{74} + 7) + \frac {x}{\pi} (\frac {1}{x^2} + 4x - 3)}{\frac{1}{2}(x^5-1)^4 (ln(cot (\frac {x^7}{x^6} + X - x^2))) + x})(\frac {\frac {dy}{dx}(f(x)-e^{(x+36)(lnx)}+x^x)(42+x^2) }{-cos(ln(3x-4))+\int_0^1 (x^2+17x-3+\frac{1}{x}+\frac{2}{x^2})dx})+ \frac {\lim_{x \to 1}(sec(ln(\sqrt{(f}(sin(log(x)))))))}{\pi^2x(-log(x+3)^2)-e^{3-x^3}(\frac{dy}{dx}(sin^2(x-x^2)))}} {(\frac {(\frac{x+3}{X})(3-\frac{x}{x}+\frac{csc x}{2})+\frac{\sqrt{lnx-e^x}}{\pi(1+x-\frac{1}{x})}(x^2-x-1-\frac{1}{x})}{f((x-3+\frac{e^x}{x^3})(\frac{cos^2x^3}{x-4}+\frac{\lim_{x \to 0}1+x^2}{36}+e^{3x})) } - \frac {(log(-x+7)-17x^2+8x)-(75+\frac{1}{x})}{(e^{\frac{x}{3}+x^2-5})(\int_1^2 (ln(x+3))f(\pi))dx +17x^{17}-5x+3})} dx
+
y= \frac {e^{\frac{x^2-\ln x+x^5(\lim_{x \rightarrow 1}x+3x+4)}{\pi \csc^2(3x)-x^3+\frac{1}{x}-5}}+16x-5}{\sin\cos(3x)-\lim_{x \rightarrow 0^+}(\frac{x+3}{x})(\frac{x-1}{x^2+4})-e^{2x}+\tan^2x-\frac{1}{\ln(e^x)\sqrt{9+x^2}}} \int_\frac{\pi}{(\ln(2+5x)-\int_0^1x^2 \mathrm{d}x}^\frac {\lim_{x \rightarrow \frac{\pi}{2}}\cos(\frac{x}{4})+\frac{2}{\pi}x}{\ln(e^{(\tan(\tan^{-1}(x)))}} \frac{(\frac {\frac {e^x}{2} - \lim_{x \rightarrow 8} ((\frac {3}{x})\ln x^{74} + 7) + \frac {x}{\pi} (\frac {1}{x^2} + 4x - 3)}{\frac{1}{2}(x^5-1)^4 (\ln(\cot (\frac {x^7}{x^6} + X - x^2))) + x})(\frac {\frac {\mathrm{d}y}{\mathrm{d}x}(f(x)-e^{(x+36)(\ln x)}+x^x)(42+x^2) }{-\cos(\ln(3x-4))+\int_0^1 (x^2+17x-3+\frac{1}{x}+\frac{2}{x^2})\mathrm{d}x})+ \frac {\lim_{x \rightarrow 1}(\sec(\ln(\sqrt{(f}(\sin(\log(x)))))))}{\pi^2x(-\log(x+3)^2)-e^{3-x^3}(\frac{\mathrm{d}y}{\mathrm{d}x}(\sin^2(x-x^2)))}} {(\frac {(\frac{x+3}{X})(3-\frac{x}{x}+\frac{\csc x}{2})+\frac{\sqrt{\ln x-e^x}}{\pi(1+x-\frac{1}{x})}(x^2-x-1-\frac{1}{x})}{f((x-3+\frac{e^x}{x^3})(\frac{\cos^2x^3}{x-4}+\frac{\lim_{x \to 0}1+x^2}{36}+e^{3x})) } - \frac {(\log(-x+7)-17x^2+8x)-(75+\frac{1}{x})}{(e^{\frac{x}{3}+x^2-5})(\int_1^2 (\ln(x+3))f(\pi))\mathrm{d}x +17x^{17}-5x+3})} \mathrm{d}x
 
</math>
 
</math>
   

Latest revision as of 04:10, September 30, 2014

Mathtutor

Me and my shirt will help you pass that test, "man."

What's happening, "dude?" I heard that you need some help with your math class. It just so happens, "my dog," that I have the "pro skills" needed to help you. Now, I know that math isn't considered "wicked" or "sweet," but I am going to show you how math can be both "wicked" and "sweet." I realize that this may seem "awkward" to you, but just treat me like your "bro," and everything will just flow into that little "cap" of yours, but above all, remember that I'm here for you as Your Math Tutor.

edit Addition and Subtraction

Mathtutorboard

Whenever I feel "down," I just write random math equations on the board! Now, doesn't that feel better?

Tutor: Now, "home skillet," I'd like to start off with something simple: addition and subtraction.

Home Skillet: I'm in pre-calculus, not kindergarten.

Tutor: Yes, I know you're in pre-calculus, but it's always good to go back over the basics. Now, addition and subtraction are super "whack." The set-up for these problems is:

a+b=c

Here, I'll show you some equations, "G-unit."

1+1=2

There, really easy. Now for another one.

2+2=4

G-unit: This is retardedly simple. I need to study for my test, not be patronized.

Tutor: I'm not patronizing you! This is important, "Dude-asaurus." Now I'm going to start on subtraction, which is "radical" as well. It's always in the form:

a-b=c

Tutor: I'll give you some examples, too.

100-58=42

50-8=42

1586-1544=42

Tutor: Ha Ha! All the answers are forty-two, get it, "Broseph?"

Dude-asaurus: This is stupid. Now you're just making fun of me.

Tutor: No, I'm not! This is really "far out!"

edit Multiplication and Division

Mathtutorhat

Why aren't you taking me seriously, "stud?" I'm wearing my "math tutor" hat!

Tutor: Ok, now we'll move to multiplication and divis-

Broseph: I learned this in third grade!

Tutor: Yes, I know you learned this in third grade, but we're going to go over it again, "Leonit-izzle."

Multiplication is written as:

a*b=(a+a+a+a...)=c

I'll give you a few examples.

3*4=3+3+3+3=12

0*4=0

Tutor: All you have to remember here is that zero times anything is always zero. Isn't that totally "choice?"

Leonit-izzle: I'll bet that's also how many girls you've had sex with.

Tutor: No, that isn't how many girls I've slept with, you "brat salandwich."

\frac{a}{b}=c

Brat Salandwich: Wait, what is this?

Tutor: Oh, isn't it "boss" that I switched to division, "diggity?" I could see you were "bugged out" with the other stuff already.

\frac{4}{2}=2

\frac{0}{13}=0

This is the same as multiplication. Zero on top equals zero. "Bad," right?

Diggity: I already know this though!

Tutor: I know you know this, "small fry"; I'm just driving home a point.

Small Fry: I get the point. The point is you're a fucking retard.

edit Algebra

Angryman42

I'm just a little "cheesed off" right now.

Tutor: Ok, you little "Velocibrat," you need to be "chill" right now, or else you might get a B in pre-calculus!

Velocibrat: Oh no. Not a B. That would be such a "drag."

Tutor: Ok now, algebra is set up in a "nifty" little way, like this:

ax+b=cx+d

And from there you have to solve for x by getting all the x's on one side like this:

3x=2x+4

3x-2x=2x-2x+4

x=4

Tutor: Well you haven't had an outburst in a while so I guess I'll actually be able to teach you something today, "Hamaroni." Solving for x can be more difficult sometimes.

4x=2x+8

4x-2x=2x-2x+8

2x=8

\frac{2x}{2}=\frac{8}{2}

x=4

Hamaroni: So, these are always 4?

Tutor: No, it's not always four, "Kraken McFearsome."

Kraken McFearsome: So, I can just put x=4 for all of these.

Tutor: No, you can't just put x=4 on all of thes- actually you know what, that's it, you little cheeseball. I was going to try to get you ready for your math test, but you know what? I can't take any more of your attitude!

edit Trigonometry, Limits, Integrals, e, Natural log, Common log, Powers, and Functions

Tutor: Here, do this problem while I go have a "study session" with one of the other tutors. 
y= \frac {e^{\frac{x^2-\ln x+x^5(\lim_{x \rightarrow 1}x+3x+4)}{\pi \csc^2(3x)-x^3+\frac{1}{x}-5}}+16x-5}{\sin\cos(3x)-\lim_{x \rightarrow 0^+}(\frac{x+3}{x})(\frac{x-1}{x^2+4})-e^{2x}+\tan^2x-\frac{1}{\ln(e^x)\sqrt{9+x^2}}} \int_\frac{\pi}{(\ln(2+5x)-\int_0^1x^2 \mathrm{d}x}^\frac {\lim_{x \rightarrow \frac{\pi}{2}}\cos(\frac{x}{4})+\frac{2}{\pi}x}{\ln(e^{(\tan(\tan^{-1}(x)))}} \frac{(\frac {\frac {e^x}{2} - \lim_{x \rightarrow 8} ((\frac {3}{x})\ln x^{74} + 7) + \frac {x}{\pi} (\frac {1}{x^2} + 4x - 3)}{\frac{1}{2}(x^5-1)^4 (\ln(\cot (\frac {x^7}{x^6} + X - x^2))) + x})(\frac {\frac {\mathrm{d}y}{\mathrm{d}x}(f(x)-e^{(x+36)(\ln x)}+x^x)(42+x^2) }{-\cos(\ln(3x-4))+\int_0^1 (x^2+17x-3+\frac{1}{x}+\frac{2}{x^2})\mathrm{d}x})+ \frac {\lim_{x \rightarrow 1}(\sec(\ln(\sqrt{(f}(\sin(\log(x)))))))}{\pi^2x(-\log(x+3)^2)-e^{3-x^3}(\frac{\mathrm{d}y}{\mathrm{d}x}(\sin^2(x-x^2)))}} {(\frac {(\frac{x+3}{X})(3-\frac{x}{x}+\frac{\csc x}{2})+\frac{\sqrt{\ln x-e^x}}{\pi(1+x-\frac{1}{x})}(x^2-x-1-\frac{1}{x})}{f((x-3+\frac{e^x}{x^3})(\frac{\cos^2x^3}{x-4}+\frac{\lim_{x \to 0}1+x^2}{36}+e^{3x})) } - \frac {(\log(-x+7)-17x^2+8x)-(75+\frac{1}{x})}{(e^{\frac{x}{3}+x^2-5})(\int_1^2 (\ln(x+3))f(\pi))\mathrm{d}x +17x^{17}-5x+3})} \mathrm{d}x

[Door slam]

Cheeseball: Fuck this. I'll just go to trade school.


Personal tools
projects