You have two cows/3

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This article is part of the You have two cows series.


Category Three: Bovine Quotes

Uncyclopedia
Oscar Wilde has your two cows.
Lady Bracknell
To have one cow is fortunate, to have two is downright careful.
Samuel L. Jackson 
You have two cows. You have HAD it with those motherfucking cows on this motherfucking field.
Horatio Nelson 
Thank God, I have two cows.
Gilles Deleuze 
There's no need to fear or hope, but only to look for two cows.
Martin Luther King Jr. 
I have a dream, where all bovine species shall be treated with equal respect. I have a dream where the sons of steers and the sons of branders can sit down at the table of harmoony together, I have a dream today!
John Madden 
Now what you got here are two cows. One, Two. Which are great cows playing a great game. You could find some cows on the street, and they'd probably play a good game; but what you got here are great cows playing a great game.
Captain Sarcasm 
No! You definitely have two cows.
Muhammad Ali 
Float like a cow, sting like the other cow.
Neil Armstrong 
That's one.....small step for...man. One...giant leap...for...two cows.
Jimmy Sixsmith 
I am not a number. I am two cows!
George Washington 
I can not tell a lie, I have two cows.
Lewis Carroll 
"Twas brillig, and the slithy cows did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."
Captain Oblivious 
You have two cows?!?!?!
Winston Churchill 
Never, in the field of buttercups and daisies, was so much owed to two cows by so many.
Bill Clinton 
I never had sexual relations with those two cows. Just one.
William Wordsworth 
I wandered lonely as two cows.
Kurt Cobain, after Neil Young 
It's better to burn out than to have two cows.
Matthew Bellamy 
We must fight for our cows.
Ellen Feiss 
And it was like "beep beep beep beep", and then, like, half of my cows were gone. And I was like, "eh?"
Attorney 
Could you please read line 13 of your statement to the court, starting with "I" and ending with "cows"?

I have two cows.

Mohandes K. Gandhi 
You have to be the Cows you want to see in the world.
Mohandes K. Gandhi 2 
An eye for an eye makes the whole cow blind.
Herbert Hoover 
A chicken in every pot and two cows in every stable.
Martin Luther King Jr. 
I have a dream, where white cows play with brown cows.
Ozzy Osbourne 
idontfuckinknonuffinaboutnofuckincowsSHARON!
Techno Man 
Two cows are better than one
George W Bush 
The two cows continue to improve daily.
George W Bush 2 
Rarely is the question asked, is our two cows learning?
Dan Quayle 
Cows, K-A-W-E-S, Cows.
The Elephant Man 
I am not an animal! I am two cows!
“So you are an animal?”
~ Me on the elephant man
Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan 
You have two cows? Excelent!
Teddy Kennedy 
So these two cows were standing on the bridge, and I swerved just in time - Yeah, that's the ticket.
Donald Rumsfeld 
There are many different ways to look at the cow situation, and yes, one is from a numerical perspective. Do we have two cows? Yes. Do we want more cows? Absolutely! Can we afford more cows? Well, that's debatable. But the fact remains, you go to war with the cows you have, not the cows you want to have.
Bill S Shakespeare, Esq 
Two sheep! Perchance two cows.
Walter Ulbricht 
Niemand hat die Absicht, zwei Kühe zu errichten
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
La vache est née libre, et partout elle est dans les fers.
Bart Simpson 
Don't have two cows man!
Bart Simpson 
Aye cowrumba!
John McCain 
I'm a mooverick.
Timmy 
TIMMAY!
Mr. T 
I pity the moo who doesn't have his calcium.
Steve Ballmer 
I'm going to fucking kill two cows.
Steve Ballmer 2 
Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows!
Oscar Wilde 
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without two cows in between.
Takashi Miike 
You could spend all your money...in two cows.
Kaz
Your two cows will retail for 599 USD.
Rick James
You have two cows, bitch.
Captain Obvious
If you're reading this now, you musn't have much of a sex life, isn't it?
Kayix
I HAVE FOUR COWS. Therefore, I broke the continuum! Yay!
Bill O'Reilly
There's no cows here! WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
Cookie Monster
Me know what go well with two cows' milk: COOKIE! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!
Kanye West
Yo farmer, I'm happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had two of the greatest cows of all time! Of all time! shrugs shoulders nonchalantly and hands microphone back to the farmer
4.252.99.182
go eat steak fuckers
Uncyclopedia is the worst
To everyone who will listen to me, please do not go here, because your two cows are the worst! None of their dairy products are ever good after the first milking. They are total pieces of junk. Junky junky junk. BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!
Barack Obama
You have two cows named Hope and Change. Their milk, which you expected to taste good, doesn't taste like anything.
Rudy Giuliani
Two cows 9/11.
Sarah Palin
I can see two cows from my house.
Lewis Black
When I was growing up, there were two types of milk: moo cow fuck milk, and sometimes chocolate moo cow fuck milk.
Ollie Williams
I SAW TWO COWS!
Gandalf the White
All our hopes now lie with two cows, somewhere in the wilderness
Barry Goldwater
A government big enough to give you the two cows you want is big enough to take the two cows you have.
Martin Luther
All who call on two cows in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired.
B C Forbes
He who has two cows has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, milk and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

Twocows

1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

“I have a dream, where all bovine species shall be treated with equal respect. I have a dream where the sons of steers and the sons of branders can sit down at the table of harmoony together, I have a dream today!”
~ Martin Luther King Jr. on You have two cows
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