You have two cows/26
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This article is part of the You have two cows series.
 English
 You have 2 cows.
 Hinduism
 You have 2 deities.
 Unary
 You have  cows.
 Binary
 You have 10 cows.
 Negabinary
 You have 110 cows.
 Binary from ASCII
 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000
 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101
 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101111
 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110111
 01110011
 Binary from EBCDIC
 11101000 10010110 10100100 01000000
 10001000 10000001 10100101 10000101
 01000000 10100011 10100110 10010110
 01000000 10000011 10010110 10100110
 10100010
 1337
 y0u h4v3 +vv0 c0vvz...nubz0rz pWn3D
 1337 2
 J00 HAV 2 C0WZ U L33T SUPA H4X0R
 l337 3 (Max)
 `/[]_ /\\/3 7\/\/[] [0\/\/5
 Boolean
 You have TRUE cows.
 Boolean (SQL)
 You have two cows. One of them is true (or null), the other one false (or null).
 Ternary
 You have 0t02 cows.
 Octal
 You have 002 cows.
 Hexadecimal
 You have 0x0002 cows.
 Innumerate
 You have some cows.
 FloatingPoint
 You have 1.999999999 cows.
 Integer
 You have 2 cows.
 Greatest Integer
 You have [[1<cows<3]] cows.
 Long
 You have 2L cows.
 Modulo 2
 You have 0 cows.
 32Bit Wrong Endianness
 You have 33554432 cows.
 64Bit Long
 You have 2LL cows.
 Scientific notation
 You have 0.002 × 10^{3} cows.
 Fibonacci
 You have no cows. You have 1 cow. You have 1 cow. You have 2 cows.
 Fibonacci (again)
 You have 3 cows. You have 5 cows. You have 8 cows. You have 13 cows.
 Fregeian Bovine Comprehension Principle (simplified form)
 There exist x and y such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y, and for every z such that z falls under the concept is your cow, either z must equal x or z must equal y.
 Fregeian Bovine Comprehension Principle (general form)
 There exist x and y such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y; and it is not the case that there exist x, y and z such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and z falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y and x is not equal to z and y is not equal to z.
 FregeRussell / New Foundations
 Set notation
 You have x cows where x є {k2≤k≤2}
 String
 printf("You have %d cows.\n",2);
 Shift
 YOU HAVE @ COWS>
 British Shift
 YOU HAVE " COWS>
 Church encoding
 You have λf. λx. f (f x) cows.
 Dvorak
 tsf ja.d 2 is,;e
 Reverse Polish notation
 You cows 2 × have.
 Japanese counting
 You have two cattle of cow, or You have 2*1 cows.
 French
 Vous avez deux vaches.
 Greek Numerals
 You have β´ cows.
 Roman Numerals
 You have II cows.
 Roman Numerals (dj Arctic extended remix)
 You have IIIV cows.
 Chinese/Japanese Numerals
 You have 二 cows.
 Hebrew Numerals
 You have 'ב cows.
 Pebbles
 You have .:. cows.
 Intel Pentium 60  A8050160
 You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
 Natural numbers
 You have {{},{{}}} cows.
 Surreal numbers
 You have { 0 , 1  } cows.
 Quantum physics
 You have < 1  1 > cows, but observing them turns them into bulls.
 Integers
 You have [5  3] cows.
 Reciprocal
 You have 1/2 a cow.
 Absolute Value
 You have 2 cows.
 Rational numbers
 You have [4/2] cows.
 Real numbers
 You have [1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + ...] cows.
 Imaginary numbers
 You have cows.
 Trigonometry
 You have csc 30° cows.
 Quadratics
 You have n cows, where n²+n6=0 and n≥0
 Random numbers
 You have rand(2,2) cows.
 Complex numbers
 You have 2 + 0i cows.
 Complex conjugates
 You have cows.
 Quaternions
 You have 2 + 0i + 0j + 0k cows.
 Surreal numbers
 You have { 1, 0, 1  } cows.
 Fuzzy
 You have between 0 and 5 of what are probably cows.
 Mathematical Induction
 You have two cows. You prove that, If you have n cows, you have n+1 cows. You now have as many cows as you want. You study Linear Algebra.
 Morse
 You have .. cows.
 Pythagorean Theorem
 Given two cows, c²+o²=w²
 In the sound studio
 You have twenty decicows.
 In the marketing department
 Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
 sdrawkcaB
 .swoc 2 evah uoY
 Word Problems
 You have two cows. Cow A started in Boston at 6:30 A.M. and walked to New York at 5 miles per hour. Cow B started at New York at 4:00 A.M. walking to Boston at 2 miles per hour. At which town will the cows meet?
 Word Problems 2
 If eight cows, over period of 10 days, can produce one gallon of milk, how much milk can your two cows produce in a period of 15 days?
 Word Problems Never End
 If it takes one cow 30 minutes to run a mile, how long does it take your two cows to run the same mile?
 Short Term Memory
 You have... um... what was the question again?
 Zen
 You are two cows.
 Lisp
 '(cows (you have) 2)
 Real life
 Fill out forms in triplicate, then see Fact.
 Quantum Mechanics
 You have two cows who have just eaten Schrodinger's cat. What does this say of the nature of reality at the bovine level?
 Quantum Mechanics 2
 You have two cows. One runs away really fast and reaches the speed of light. Einstein kills the other cow, then Stephen Hawking, then himself.
 Quantum Mechanics 3 (Heisenberg Uncertainty Princimoo)
 You have two cows. If I told you where they were and how fast they were going then you'd no longer have two cows
 Quantum Mechanics 4
 You have two cows. One of them is an anticow. They touch. Now you have no cows. Or planet.
 Quantum Mechanics 5
 You have one cow in a twofold coherent superposition, creating an interference pattern with itself. You have a zebra.
 Relativity
 You have two cows. One of them goes faster than light and goes back in time. Now you have three cows. No wait one. Or one per universe. Whatever.
 Schrodinger's Cows
 Your two cows are both dead and alive.
 Jung
 The cows are an archetype in your collective unconscious that may have a direct affect on the subatomic particles of the body. In fact, you just are the cow.
 Differential Cowculus
 You have 2.
 Differential Cowculus 2
 You have e^{2cow} X 2
 Indefinite Integral Cowculus
 You have cow^{2}/2 + C.
 Russian Reversal
 In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!!
 Gematria
 "You have two cows" (יש לך שתי פרות) has the numerical value of 1756, which is equivalent to "You will arise and have mercy on Zion" (אתה תקום תרחם ציון).
 Statistics
 An analysis of available data suggests that you have two cows. These results are correct 19 times out of 20, with a ±4% margin of error.
 Lost
 You have 4 8 15 16 23 42 cows. Whatever that means.
 ?
 You have ? cows.
 Proudhonian Mutualism
 Property is theft, therefore you should not "have" these two cows at all.
 IM
 u hv 2 bk brgrz.
 MediaWiki
You have {{{Number}}} {{{Species}}}.
To successfully use this template, copy following code:
{{You_have...  Number =  Species = }}
Where Number should be any number, and Species should be any species.
Example:
You have two cows.
 BB Code
 You have [cows]2[/cows].
 Text Message
 U hav 2 cows. :)
 Insulting
 U have 1 cow + your mum
 SQL Select Command
 "SELECT bovines, count FROM animals WHERE count = '" & Number.Text & "'"
 SQL Select Command 2
 "SELECT animal, count(*) FROM animals WHERE animal = 'cow' GROUP BY animal"
 Internet
 http://www.tucows.com/
 Hypothetical
 Suppose you have two cows...
 LIE
 You have 3 cows.
 Buddha
 There both is a cow and not a cow at the same time.
 Aristotle
 There either are two cows or there are not two cows. There is no middle ground.
 Tao
 There is no cow.
 Zen
 Moo
 Comedian
 Stop me if you've heard this. Two cows walk into a bar. One says to the other, Moo.
 Iambic Pentameter
 Two cows you have, you surely have two cows.
 Letter Poem
 Cow cow U R,
Cow cow U B,
I C U R cow cow 4 me
 Java
 you.setCows(2);
 Python
 self.has(cows(2))
 Yoda
 2 cows you have
 Gamer
 All your cow are belong to us
 Uncyclopedia addict
 You have a large field, two cows, a hedge, three sheep, two cows, a tractor, two cows, a garden, a gnome, two cows, and a tractor... with two cows in it. Repetition rocks!
 Unix
 [root@localhost] # cat /dev/cows > /dev/null ; echo $?
0
[root@localhost] #
 eBay
 Looking for 2 cows ? Buy 2 cows here !
 MD5
bae02f74c37921ccddda87814fc8f6a7
 PHP
<?php $cows=0; for ($i=0; $i<2; $i++) { $cows++; } echo 'You have '.$cows.' cows.'; ?>
 ASP
<% Response.Write "You have two cows." %>
 Invalid HTML
<html><head>You have two cows.</body></head>
 Valid XHTML
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF8"?> <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1strict.dtd"> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title></title> <meta httpequiv="ContentType" content="application/xhtml+xml; charset=utf8" /> </head> <body>
You have two cows.
</body> </html>
 Javascript
alert("You have two cows.");
 ACS
# include "zcommon.acs"
script 1 (void) { if (CheckInventory("Cow") = 2) Print(s:"You have two cows."); }
 Wikipedia Article
"You have two cows" is the beginning phrase for a series of political joke definitions.
 TI83
PROGRAM:TWOCOWS :{1,2}→LCOWS :Disp "YOU HAVE",(2),"COWS." :
 Piglatin
Ouyay avehay otway owscay.
 Opposite Day
I don't have 2 uncows.
 ASM
ld a,2
ld hl, you_numcows
ld (hl),a
 FORTH
cow
cow
+
."
 Guy who can't count
You have the number of cows that comes after the number that's more than none. I think.
 Bored person with a cowculator
 You have 2 cows. You put "+1" in the cowculator and hit =. You have 3 cows. You hit =. You have 4 cows. You hit =. You have 5 cows. You hit =. You have 6 cows...
 Porn site
 Uncensored movies from just $2.99! Guaranteed authentic pair of cows! Just download the TwoCows Media Payment software, disable all virus scanners and firewalls, install it and watch the cows!
 Spam email
 (FROM: Canadian BovineMeds) meds on=lnie! make yuor Two Cwos the VERY BEST IN THE WORLD EVER with V1@gra.
 Nigerian 419 spam
 Hello plese, I am a depozed prince who need to get my two cows out of the contry. If you gives me your bank acount informashon I will give you one of my cows in paiment.
 Phishing email
 According to our database, your Two Cows listing on eBay is out of date. Please send us your Two Cows within 24 hours, along with your credit card information and Social Security/Insurance number, or your listing will be deleted.
 Phreaking
 If you train your two cows to moo a specific series of tones into a pay phone, you can make calls for free.
 Scientology
 You pay Tom Cruise to measure your cows with his emeter and see if there are two or not.
 Amazon.com
 Customers who bought two cows also bought: two sheep, two pigs, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
 Impossible Creatures triggering
 [ countdown 0 THEN
set number of cows of You to 2 ]
 KLF
 mumu
 Cockney
 You are a bigamist.
 tucows.com
 You have us.
 LOLCATS
 U HAS A KOW. U HAD ANNUDER WON, BUT I EATED IT. KTHXBYE
 Portal
 The cow is a lie.
 Team Fortress 2
 Spay Sappin Mah Bovine!
 Linux
$ cat /proc/cows/number
2
$
 Identi.ca
Two autonomous cows subscribe to each others' feed.
 Economist
 Let us assume that you have two cows...
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!  
1. Analysis 
9. This cow does not exist 
17. Politicowl Junk 
24.3. Video Games Volume 2  
“You have two cows^{[citation needed]}.”
