# You have two cows/26

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English
You have 2 cows.
Hinduism
You have 2 deities.
Unary
You have || cows.
Binary
You have 10 cows.
Negabinary
You have 110 cows.
Binary from ASCII
01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000
01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101
00100000 01110100 01110111 01101111
00100000 01100011 01101111 01110111
01110011
Binary from EBCDIC
11101000 10010110 10100100 01000000
10001000 10000001 10100101 10000101
01000000 10100011 10100110 10010110
01000000 10000011 10010110 10100110
10100010
1337
y0u h4v3 +vv0 c0vvz...nubz0rz pWn3D
1337 2
J00 HAV 2 C0WZ U L33T SUPA H4X0R
l337 3 (Max)
/[]|_| |-|/-\\/3 7\/\/[] [0\/\/5
Boolean
You have TRUE cows.
Boolean (SQL)
You have two cows. One of them is true (or null), the other one false (or null).
Ternary
You have 0t02 cows.
Octal
You have 002 cows.
You have 0x0002 cows.
Innumerate
You have some cows.
Floating-Point
You have 1.999999999 cows.
Integer
You have 2 cows.
Greatest Integer
You have [[1<cows<3]] cows.
Long
You have 2L cows.
Modulo 2
You have 0 cows.
32-Bit Wrong Endianness
You have 33554432 cows.
64-Bit Long
You have 2LL cows.
Scientific notation
You have 0.002 × 103 cows.
Fibonacci
You have no cows. You have 1 cow. You have 1 cow. You have 2 cows.
Fibonacci (again)
You have 3 cows. You have 5 cows. You have 8 cows. You have 13 cows.
Fregeian Bovine Comprehension Principle (simplified form)
There exist x and y such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y, and for every z such that z falls under the concept is your cow, either z must equal x or z must equal y.
Fregeian Bovine Comprehension Principle (general form)
There exist x and y such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y; and it is not the case that there exist x, y and z such that x falls under the concept is your cow and y falls under the concept is your cow and z falls under the concept is your cow and x is not equal to y and x is not equal to z and y is not equal to z.
Frege-Russell / New Foundations
$\{\textrm{your cows}\} \in \{x \cup \{y\} \mid x \in \{x \cup \{y\} \mid x \in \{\{\}\} \wedge y \not\in x\} \wedge y \not\in x\}$
Set notation
You have x cows where x є {k|2≤k≤2}
String
printf("You have %d cows.\n",2);
Shift
YOU HAVE @ COWS>
British Shift
YOU HAVE " COWS>
Church encoding
You have λf. λx. f (f x) cows.
Dvorak
tsf ja.d 2 is,;e
Reverse Polish notation
You cows 2 × have.
Japanese counting
You have two cattle of cow, or You have 2*1 cows.
French
Vous avez deux vaches.
Greek Numerals
You have β´ cows.
Roman Numerals
You have II cows.
Roman Numerals (dj Arctic extended remix)
You have IIIV cows.
Chinese/Japanese Numerals
You have 二 cows.
Hebrew Numerals
You have 'ב cows.
Pebbles
You have .:. cows.
Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
Natural numbers
You have {{},{{}}} cows.
Surreal numbers
You have { 0 , 1 | } cows.
Quantum physics
You have < 1 | 1 > cows, but observing them turns them into bulls.
Integers
You have [5 - 3] cows.
Reciprocal
You have 1/2 a cow.
Absolute Value
You have |-2| cows.
Rational numbers
You have [4/2] cows.
Real numbers
You have [1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + ...] cows.
Imaginary numbers
You have $-2i^2$ cows.
Trigonometry
You have csc 30° cows.
You have n cows, where n²+n-6=0 and n≥0
Random numbers
You have rand(2,2) cows.
Complex numbers
You have 2 + 0i cows.
Complex conjugates
You have $(\sqrt{2} + \sqrt{2}i)(\sqrt{2} - \sqrt{2}i)/2$ cows.
Quaternions
You have 2 + 0i + 0j + 0k cows.
Surreal numbers
You have { -1, 0, 1 | } cows.
Fuzzy
You have between 0 and 5 of what are probably cows.
Mathematical Induction
You have two cows. You prove that, If you have n cows, you have n+1 cows. You now have as many cows as you want. You study Linear Algebra.
Morse
You have ..--- cows.
Pythagorean Theorem
Given two cows, c²+o²=w²
In the sound studio
You have twenty decicows.
In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
sdrawkcaB
.swoc 2 evah uoY
Word Problems
You have two cows. Cow A started in Boston at 6:30 A.M. and walked to New York at 5 miles per hour. Cow B started at New York at 4:00 A.M. walking to Boston at 2 miles per hour. At which town will the cows meet?
Word Problems 2
If eight cows, over period of 10 days, can produce one gallon of milk, how much milk can your two cows produce in a period of 15 days?
Word Problems Never End
If it takes one cow 30 minutes to run a mile, how long does it take your two cows to run the same mile?
Short Term Memory
You have... um... what was the question again?
Zen
You are two cows.
Fact
You really have 0 cows. Maths proves it.
Lisp
'(cows (you have) 2)
Real life
Fill out forms in triplicate, then see Fact.
Quantum Mechanics
You have two cows who have just eaten Schrodinger's cat. What does this say of the nature of reality at the bovine level?
Quantum Mechanics 2
You have two cows. One runs away really fast and reaches the speed of light. Einstein kills the other cow, then Stephen Hawking, then himself.
Quantum Mechanics 3 (Heisenberg Uncertainty Princimoo)
You have two cows. If I told you where they were and how fast they were going then you'd no longer have two cows
Quantum Mechanics 4
You have two cows. One of them is an anticow. They touch. Now you have no cows. Or planet.
Quantum Mechanics 5
You have one cow in a two-fold coherent superposition, creating an interference pattern with itself. You have a zebra.
Relativity
You have two cows. One of them goes faster than light and goes back in time. Now you have three cows. No wait one. Or one per universe. Whatever.
Schrodinger's Cows
Jung
The cows are an archetype in your collective unconscious that may have a direct affect on the subatomic particles of the body. In fact, you just are the cow.
Differential Cow-culus
You have 2.
Differential Cow-culus 2
You have e2cow X 2
Indefinite Integral Cow-culus
You have cow2/2 + C.
Russian Reversal
In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!!
Gematria
"You have two cows" (יש לך שתי פרות) has the numerical value of 1756, which is equivalent to "You will arise and have mercy on Zion" (אתה תקום תרחם ציון).
Statistics
An analysis of available data suggests that you have two cows. These results are correct 19 times out of 20, with a ±4% margin of error.
Lost
You have 4 8 15 16 23 42 cows. Whatever that means.
?
You have ? cows.
Proudhonian Mutualism
Property is theft, therefore you should not "have" these two cows at all.
IM
u hv 2 bk brgrz.
MediaWiki

You have {{{Number}}} {{{Species}}}.

To successfully use this template, copy following code:

{{You_have...
| Number   =
| Species  =
}}

Where Number should be any number, and Species should be any species.
Example:
You have two cows.

BB Code
You have [cows]2[/cows].
Text Message
U hav 2 cows. :)
Insulting
U have 1 cow + your mum
SQL Select Command
"SELECT bovines, count FROM animals WHERE count = '" & Number.Text & "'"
SQL Select Command 2
"SELECT animal, count(*) FROM animals WHERE animal = 'cow' GROUP BY animal"
Internet
http://www.tucows.com/
Hypothetical
Suppose you have two cows...
LIE
You have 3 cows.
Buddha
There both is a cow and not a cow at the same time.
Aristotle
There either are two cows or there are not two cows. There is no middle ground.
Tao
There is no cow.
Zen
Moo
Comedian
Stop me if you've heard this. Two cows walk into a bar. One says to the other, Moo.
Iambic Pentameter
Two cows you have, you surely have two cows.
Letter Poem
Cow cow U R,
Cow cow U B,
I C U R cow cow 4 me
Java
you.setCows(2);
Python
self.has(cows(2))
Yoda
2 cows you have
Gamer
All your cow are belong to us
You have a large field, two cows, a hedge, three sheep, two cows, a tractor, two cows, a garden, a gnome, two cows, and a tractor... with two cows in it. Repetition rocks!
Unix
[root@localhost] # cat /dev/cows > /dev/null ; echo $? 0 [root@localhost] # eBay Looking for 2 cows ? Buy 2 cows here ! MD5 bae02f74c37921ccddda87814fc8f6a7 PHP <?php$cows=0;
for ($i=0;$i<2; $i++) {$cows++;
}

echo 'You have '.$cows.' cows.'; ?>  ASP <% Response.Write "You have two cows." %>  Invalid HTML <html><head>You have two cows.</body></head>  Valid XHTML <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title></title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="application/xhtml+xml; charset=utf-8" /> </head> <body>  You have two cows. </body> </html>  Javascript alert("You have two cows.");  ACS # include "zcommon.acs"  script 1 (void) { if (CheckInventory("Cow") = 2) Print(s:"You have two cows."); }  Wikipedia Article "You have two cows" is the beginning phrase for a series of political joke definitions. TI-83 PROGRAM:TWOCOWS :{1,2}→LCOWS :Disp "YOU HAVE",(2),"COWS." : ` Piglatin Ou-yay ave-hay o-tway ows-cay. Opposite Day I don't have -2 uncows. ASM ld a,2 ld hl, you_numcows ld (hl),a FORTH cow cow + ." Guy who can't count You have the number of cows that comes after the number that's more than none. I think. Bored person with a cowculator You have 2 cows. You put "+1" in the cowculator and hit =. You have 3 cows. You hit =. You have 4 cows. You hit =. You have 5 cows. You hit =. You have 6 cows... Porn site Uncensored movies from just$2.99! Guaranteed authentic pair of cows! Just download the TwoCows Media Payment software, disable all virus scanners and firewalls, install it and watch the cows!
Spam e-mail
(FROM: Canadian BovineMeds) meds on=lnie! make yuor Two Cwos the VERY BEST IN THE WORLD EVER with V1@gra.
Nigerian 419 spam
Hello plese, I am a depozed prince who need to get my two cows out of the contry. If you gives me your bank acount informashon I will give you one of my cows in paiment.
Phishing e-mail
According to our database, your Two Cows listing on eBay is out of date. Please send us your Two Cows within 24 hours, along with your credit card information and Social Security/Insurance number, or your listing will be deleted.
Phreaking
If you train your two cows to moo a specific series of tones into a pay phone, you can make calls for free.
Scientology
You pay Tom Cruise to measure your cows with his e-meter and see if there are two or not.
Amazon.com
Customers who bought two cows also bought: two sheep, two pigs, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Impossible Creatures triggering
[ countdown 0 THEN

set number of cows of You to 2 ]

KLF
mu-mu
Cockney
You are a bigamist.
tucows.com
You have us.
LOLCATS
U HAS A KOW. U HAD ANNUDER WON, BUT I EATED IT. KTHXBYE
Portal
The cow is a lie.
Team Fortress 2
Spay Sappin Mah Bovine!
Linux

$cat /proc/cows/number 2$

Identi.ca

Two autonomous cows subscribe to each others' feed.

Economist
Let us assume that you have two cows...
 Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology! 24.3. Video Games Volume 2 25. World and Web of Cows 26. You Have n Cows 27. Science 28. Moodicine 29. Game Consoles 30. Game Genres 31. Capitalism “In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!”~ Yakov Smirnoff on You have two cows