You have two cows/2

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This article is part of the You have two cows series.


Category Two: Anime

A

Agent Aika
You have 2 cows that show their udders constantly, even in forced poses.
Ah! Moo Goddess
You are a student with no cows. Then you call a wrong number and end up with a cow goddess who will stay with you forever. At first people only try to take your cow away from you, but then cow demons and more cow goddesses (including some goddess-demon cow and some annoying little calf and some determined lonely cow goddess) appear and all hell breaks loose. You and your cow also have to win races for your mootor club.
Air
You have two cows, a long time ago someone else had two cows. Gao~
Air
You have two cows, one turns into a bird and the other dies. You want your six hours back.
Air Gear
You have two cows. They are wearing motorized roller-skates.
Air Gear (2)
You have one bull, who likes flying on roller skates. There are a lot of cows, and they are all naked. The bull picks up friends and badge-thingies, but no one cares, because the plot makes no sense and all they want are boo-I mean, udders.
Akagi
You have the 2 Cow tile, and need to get rid of it to complete your hand, but you play it safe and deal the safe 5 Cow tile instead. But Akagi declares a Ron off of the 5 Cow and calls you a retard. You then have a mental breakdown over a game and hallucinate all kinds of f'ed up religious symbolism.
Akane iro no Somaru saka
You have two cows. They are brothers and sisters. The male cow gets involved in a successful relationship with a rich female cow. Later, the male cow decides to dump her and hooks up with his sister instead.
Akira
You have two cows. One causes the destruction of Tokyo in 1988, while the other causes the destruction of Neo-Tokyo in 2019. The 2019 cow also gets some form of weird disease because it seems to expand into some monster.
Amaenaideyo!
You have a herd of cows, unfortunately if you try to milk them you get a nosebleed and try to exorcise everything in sight.
Amagami SS
Two years ago, a cow stood you up. Loser.
Angel Tales
You have two cows which you care for very much. They both die while you're on vacation, but then get reincarnated as angels/humans who return your kindness by helping you get a job.
Angel Sanctuary
You have two cows who are brother and sister. They are deeply in love, but the brother cow is secretly the reincarnation of an angel. Two creepy dark cows with white heads then begin stalking them and screaming random shit at the brother cow. Eventually, your two cows get fed up with it all, so they run off and elope.
ARIA
You have two cows in a gondola. Nothing much happens. Isn't this nice?
Asatte no Houkou
You have a cow and a calf. They exchanged ages when they wished for it, or something like that.
Astarotte no Omoocha
A young female vampire calf designates an adult bull as her "toy." She can do that because she is royalty.
Azumanga Daioh
You have a dream about a large orange cat in a Santa outfit eating two cows with tomatoes. One of the cows steals a pair of pigtails and flies away over the moon.
Azumanga Daioh (2)
You have two cows. One of them bites your hand for no apparent reason. The other is an Iriomote Cow that came all the way from Okinawa.
Azumanga Daioh (3)
You have two cows. While you're studying, one flies through your window and starts speaking English. Naturally, you scream OH MY GAH. The other one gets drunk off its ass to prevent yet ANOTHER cow from getting drunk and proceeds to give you 'the talk'.
Avatar: The Last Airbender
You have two cows. One cow finds a cow in an iceberg. The cow in the iceberg is super-powerful and likes the first cow, then the super-cow has to save the world... but who cares... anyone who watches it spends half their time deciding weather it is a cow-nime because it came from cowmerica.
Avatar: The Last Airbender (2)
You have two cows. Does the second like the first or the evil third cow? Oh, and they try to save the world, but nobody cares about that.

B

B Gata H Kei
You have a horny cow and a bull who's too stupid about the cow wanting him.
Baccano!
You have twenty cows. While being shipped across the ocean, they discover the secret of immortality. That very night, one of the cows contracts mad cow disease and starts eating the rest. Then he gets thrown in the ocean.
Baccano! (2)
You have two thieving cows. They run into a bunch of bad assed gangster cows and get wasted on an elixer of immortality. 1000 years later, the first two cows realize what happened and rejoice in the streets dressed like hippies.
Baccano! (3)
"AMAZING MOO-SAAC!!"
Baka to Test to Shokanjuu
You have a ton of stupid cows and a ton of stupid bulls fighting with the smarter ones in the hopes of switching their crumby old stable for an airconditioned one. Baaaa-ka!
Bakugan
You have two cows. They can only be summoned from tiny balls, like Pokemon, but they also need cards, like Moo-Gi-Oh!, so your cows are rip-offs of crappy shows which make your cows depressed enough to kill themselves.
Basilisk
You have two cows. They used to love each other but drop it in ten seconds to kill each other. They both die so dont get atached.
Berserk
You have two cows. After cutting one cow in half with a massive butcher's knife (known as the Cow Slayer), the second cow makes a pact with demons and has demonic sex with your girlfriend. Left without sex, you masturbate so hard and so often that you go blind in one eye and lose the use of your left hand.
Big O
You have two cows. One is a negotiator and part-time operator of a fifteen story tall MegaDeus named Big O. The other cow is by far the most boring cybernetic bovine ever who gets into a lot of crap. Almost too often.....
Big O (2)
You have two cows. You get into your Big O to fight another giant robot. Tomatoes???!!!
Black Lagoon
You have 2 cows one is a rogue japanese salarycow and the other is a crazy Chinese-American cow who likes to shoot people and smoke and the series ends pointlessly. Also 2 creepy-incestful-transvestite-brother/sister-Romanian calves slaughter a bunch of Russian people for no reason in the second season. They are also porn stars. Go figure.
Blood+
You have two cows. One has glowing red eyes, but is not evil. One has glowing blue eyes, but is evil. They hack at each other and each other’s friends with swords. Also, the American military is evil.
Blood+
You have two cows. The milk from each is highly toxic to the other's calves.
Boku no Pico
You have a cow and a very small calf. The cow has but-sex with the very small calf.
Bleach
You have two cows. The two cows release their Zanpakutos and try to kill each other, destroying half of the Soul Society in the process (but somehow no-one dies).
Bleach (2)
You have two cows, one with really large udders, and one with small udders and an endearing personality. You go to save the small-uddered one and find that the large-uddered one is useless in rescuing the small-uddered one, despite having an arsenal of badass cow fairies to assist it. But you save the small-uddered cow anyway, only to have the large-uddered cow kidnapped, but only after some filler where both cows are, in fact, useless. And so the cycle begins...
Bleach (3)
TWO COWS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU!! BOHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bleach (4)
You have two cows. They try to kill each other. One suddenly has a flashback and puts his resolve into killing the other one, and the other one gets beat, but never ever dies.
Bleach (5)
You have two cows. The fandom won't stop wanking about which one the bull should shag.
Bleach (6)
You have a bunch of cows. One is kidnapped.The other cows search it,while also searching a bull to fuck.After quadrupliards of fillers,they find the kidnapped cow,and realise that they love eachother and fuck themselves in the "soul society", better known as Old McDonald's farm.
Bleach (7)
You have 2 cows. One becomes a death god and the other becomes a giant man eating monster with a weird mask on. You then go to therapy
Blue Seed
You have two cows. One seems to be infected with some weird plant and it grows scythes out of its hooves. The other cow is helpless and keeps getting trapped in somewhat lame traps. Oh, and there are zombies. Lots of zombies.
Bobobo-bo-bo-bobo-bobobo-hobo-bo-ho-bo-bo-bobobo-bobo-bobo-bo-bobobobobobobob-bo-bobobobob-you know what, screw this. It's long
You have two cows who want to stop an evil empire that steals hair. They team up with an all-star cast of fucked-up characters that practically came straight from the mind of some 20 year old autistic dude stuck in an acid trip, and engage in a lot of random bullshit along the way.
Moomoomoo-moomoo-moomoo
You have 2 cows. You have no idea what the hells going on
Bobobo-bobo-bobo
You have 2 cows. They are both retarded.
Boondocks
You have two cows. These cows satirically teach you how racist you really are. You laugh.

C

Captain Harlock
You have a space tractor full of midgets and some babes. You stockpile cow feed there. You have two cow friends on Earth. The first is the orphan of your deceased friend who built the tractor. That friend told you never to take his daughter on board. The other is a boy whose scientist father met a tragic end. You tell him, "If you are a bull, you will come aboard my tractor."
Cardcaptor Sakura
Instead of having two cows, you have two Cow Cards.
Chaos;Head
You have two 3D cows, but the bull isn't interested in them at all.
Chi's Sweet Home
You have one cow and a calf. The calf soon gets lost in the pasture and travels a long journey through many other pastures to find its way back to its mother.
Chrono Crusade
You have on cow with an annoying voice in English and a calf who is actually a bull pretending to be a calf to save energy. When the cow releases a seal the calf turns into a super-powered bull and kills other super-powered bulls and cows because it is an evil traitor. But then the cow gets pathetically weak and dies.
City Hunter
You have two cows, they are continuously being stalked and groped by a bull who is quite handy is a .357 Magnum.
Clannad
Cow, cow, cow, cow, big cow family. (牛、牛、牛、牛、牛大家族。)
Clannad 2
You have five cows. One of them is an idiot, another is an idiot that gets beat up a lot by another cow, another throws books, one is a ghost, and one is an antisocial genius. The one that wants to become an actress doesn't count.
Claymoo
You have a half-monster cow and a bull that hunt down and kill monster cows and awake-monster cows.
Code Geass
You have two cows. Lelouch uses the Geass to make you give them to him. You then wonder where your cows went.
Code Geass (2)
You have two cows. They graze on pizza from Pizza Hut.
Code Geass (3)
Your farm gets taken over by Britannia, gets renamed "Area 11," and your two cows are now called "Elevens."
Code Geass (4)
You have two cows. They are best friends. One mind controls the other so that surviving is its main priority. This mine controlled cow then proceeds to shoot the cow that mind controlled it. Both are idiots, but only one has sexy black hair.
Code Geass (5)
You have two cows. One is immortal and wants to die, while the other wants revenge on his father, who's an emporor, by secretly leading a terorist group of cows against his cow empire, while still living his cow life at cow school.
Code Geass R2
You have two cows. It is exactly like it was in the first season.
Code Geass R2 (2)
You have two cows. They perform increasingly audacious acts each episode while the world rapidly falls apart around them.
Code Lyoko
You have 1 cow and a bull. The bull becomes a computer scientist and gets trapped in a virtual world with his daughter, and the bull is kept there by a evil program, but the daughter cow is trying to avoid being captured by the program. There's also 4 cows who are friends and form a team trying to rescue them while reverting the chaos caused by the program
Code Lyoko (2)
You have four French cows. They constantly fight a virtual strain of mad cow disease and try to save their world and some virtual cow by going into a digital world, killing more virtual cows, and activating a tower that resembles a penis. Repeat until someone dies. Also: one of the cows is a bisexual.
Cowcaptor Sakura
You have released 52 cows from an ancient, magical book you found in your basement (along with a stuffed, enchanted teddy bear).
Chobits
You have two cows. One of the cows finds a hot female artificial cow in the trash and takes it home. He turns it on and they subsequently fall in love. But it's okay, because the artificial cow has real feelings and it's not like he took home a used, overpriced cow RealDoll.
Consumption Note
You have two cows. They are all mentally retarded.
Consumption Note (2)
You have two cows. You eat them. For making cupcakes bleed. Man, bleed.
Consumption Note (3)
You have two cows. You take one and EAT IT.
Consumption Note (4)
You have two cows. I am A.
Consumption Note (5)
You have two cows. One has suddenly gained the power to eat all the other cows except for a super-retarded cow who has very lousy logic but very good luck.
Consumption Note (6
You have two hands. One can talk (that's your right hand).
Consumption Note (7)
You have two cows. Sayonara, Tmoo Amoo Ymoo.
Cowboy Bebop
You have two cows. Those two cows find another cow with a huge udder. Then they find a cow which they thought was a boy, but turned out to be a girl. One of your cows fights with another cow (not one of your cows) and your cow kills that cow, but your cow gets mortally injured in the process. He then dies. Oh, did I mention that Spike dies?
Cowboy Bebop (2)
You have two COWboys! Hah, hah, get it? Isn't that funny?
Cromartie High School
You have two cows. They spend ten minutes engaged in a long convoluted discussion that ultimately achieves nothing. Repeat for twenty-six episodes.

D

Darkness
You have 6 cows and one giant mutated multi-penised alien bull, trapped on a broken space station. Do the fucking maths.
Darkness: Pt2
You have a cow and a bull. The cow can sing and gets all the attention, so the bull summons a big scary demon to rape her senseless.
Darkness: Pt3
You have an entire planet of cows and bulls. The giant mutated multi-penised alien bull from the first episode pays them a visit. Everyone dies.
Daughters of Moonemosyne
There are two immortal cows that run a detective agency in Shinjuku.And there's this sadistic hermaphrodite cow who is after the most important, coolest immortal cow called Rin, and it turns out that everyone tries to kill Rin and gorily dismembers her in some disgusting way or another, but it doesn't matter, she's still alive cause she's immortal. Awfully handy, that.
Death Note
You have two cows. One of them suddenly has the ability to kill off the other cows with the exception of the super-intelligent cow that keeps tracking the cow (who is also friends with it). You begin to notice that the cow is spending entire nights cramped up in the barn, and you notice it's the only cow in the barn that is still alive. You kill that fucking cow, and take it's notebook to seek revenge on those who harm you.
Death Note (2)
You have two cows. You give them both names so you can kill them.
Death Note (3)
You have two cows. When you milk them, you always do so in slow-motion with multi-colored after-images and epic music playing in the background.
Death Note (4)
I have two cows. Just as planned!
Death Note (5)
I have two cows, I am righteous and there will be JUSTICE!
Death Note (6)
You have two notebooks.
Death Note (7)
You have two cows. You take one AND EAT IT!!!
Death Note (8)
You have two cows. They both die of heart attacks.
Death Note (9)
Two little dicky cows sitting on the wall. One named Raye Penber and one named Misora Naomi. Sayonara Raye Penber, Sayonara Misora Naomi-san. No more dicky cows sitting on the wall.
Death Note (10)
You have two cows. They only eat apples.
Dennou Coil
You have two calves. Kohta Hirano wants to see one of them naked. HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT FISH.
Da Capo
You have two cows. One is your sister. One is your cousin. Sicko.
Darker than Black
You have two cows. One is a contractor whose remuneration is to drink its own milk. The other is a doll who uses moo-powered observer apparitions to look for the meteor fragment during a solar maximum and the contractor is part of a syndicate who is really being set up and there is a group of terrorist cows who plot to take over the world but have a secretly benevolent purpose and are lead by a cow who has issues with your first cow but the first cow never does anything but yell angrily so you never really find out what those issues are and for some reason cows caused South America to disappear but it's actually just been flooded by milk and then you die because you have no idea what's going on.
Desert Punk
You have two cows. One is of age with big teats but doesn't want to sleep with you, the other is jailbait but will be a hottie when she becomes of age. You're a poor horny bounty hunter in the middle of the desert. The mature cow screws you over countless times while the underage one keeps costing you money and you keep having to save her. You say "fuck, it all." and "I own this desert, bitches", and join the evil government for power and robotic slaves. Life is good.
Detective Conan 
You have two cows, one of which has been turned into a calf. Murders happen everywhere it goes, but it can solve them all by logically concluding the culprit as well as their motives and exact planning from the obvious hints spread all over the place. And the cryptic messages. And the confessions. Whenever it solves a case, it hides behind the bull and pretends he was the one talking, even though he is obviously asleep. Everybody believes it and the bull gets famous.
Digimon 
You have 2 cows. They meet 5 other cows and are warped into an alternate dimension where they have to Digivolve to MagnaMetalWarCowmon OmniuberYouTubeblast Mode to save the world.
Digimon (02) 
You have two cows. You need to slide cards in some device to feed them or to kill them.
Digimon (03) 
You have two cows. They are in different stages. They do completely different attacks.
Digimon (04) 
You have two cows. You evolve with the cows to become Bibovinomanmon to save the world.
Dokuro-chan 
You have two cows. They kill you. Repeatedly. This is funny.
Dokuro-chan 2 
You have a bull. Now you don't. Oh wait, you do... Now where's the next episode?
Dragonball (the original)
You have two cows and a pig. They like to collect balls and lingerie.
Dragonball Z 
You have two cows. They take five episodes to do a 15 minute fight scene. The cows' hair is unholy and unnatural. The cows kill each other. Balls bring the cows back to life. The cycle repeats.
Dragonball Z (2)
You have two cows. They don't exactly spend their time actually fighting. It's just basically 28 minute sequences of them screaming and making faces like they have a pineapple shoved up their ass.
Dragonball Z (again) (3) 
You have two cows. One is killed, and is wished back with magic balls. The second cow suddenly becomes more powerful in a shocking plot twist and sees off the alien. Another more powerful Alien kills your cow again. Repeat until the cows cause the world to explode.
Dragonball Z (yet again) (4) 
You have OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAND cows! But it doesn't make a bit of difference, guys. The cows are inert.
Dragonball Z (once more) (5) 
You have two cows. They fight using superhuman powers. They each blow a two foot hole in the other. It takes twenty half hour episodes for them to die.
Dragonball Z (Part Six: THE REVENGE!) (6) 
You have two cows. They both die. They go to Hell HFIL.
Dragonball GT (yes, I know) 
You have three cows. one gets turned into a whiney bitch-ass calf who makes his hair big and appalling. The other is a hopeless, weak heifer who always has to be saved by the calf. Add in some flying robot, or cow three, who wears a scarf. Enough said.
Dragonball AF
You have two cows, both of them at like Super Saiyan twenty hundred. You'll never see your cows never existed.
Dragonball AF
You have no cows. You decide to make some fanart of cows at like Super Saiyan twenty hundred, and you tell everyone that those are your cows. Still Nobody cares.
Dragonball Kai
You have two cows. They take fi-- wait, they're done already?
Moo-rarara!! (1) 
You have two cows. One is a skeezy information broker and the other one is pretending to be a bartender. The second cow is perpetually pissed off and always tries to throw vending machines at the first cow, but he ends up just screwing the cow that can't find her head.
Moo-rarara!! (2) 
You have two cows. One of them is a magical faerie who takes her head off one day and then loses it. Shit.
Moo-rarara!! (3) 
You have two cows. One is too wimpy to ever leave his house, and the other one is a teen gang leader filled with emo cow angst. The first cow starts a chatroom that turns into a gang, and when the second cow finds out, shit's goin' down.

E

Elfen Lied 
You have a cow. It has pink hair, god awful horns, and most of the time is parading around in the nude. But it's really a schizophrenic, homicidal maniac with four invisible arms, capable of doing a whole lot of bad, bad stuff. Another cow visits the first cow. This cow also has pink hair and god awful horns; but it's a cow, so that's okay. The first cow amputates all four of the second cow's limbs and makes out with a random person. Oh, and then it turns out your cow killed your sister and father, as you watched. Then she tells you she broke out of a lab, and killed hundreds of people so she could say she was sorry, The end.
Ergo Proxy
You have two cows. They are named after obscure philosophers and sit in a dimly-lit room plotting ways to cover up the escape of some freaky lab experiment.
Eureka Seven
You have two cows, one blue and the other pink. The pink one gets hopped up on drugs and tries to kill the blue one and her boyfriend. Oh, and robots come in at some point.
Eureka Seven (2)
You have two cows. That doesn't matter, though, since your farm was seized by the Tower Federation and turned into yet another military training ground.
Excel Saga
You have two cows. One of them is hyper and keeps screwing up the missions you give her, the other is fragile and keeps dying and coming back to life. Two cows experiment.... Failed.
Excel Saga (2)
I hereby give you permission to have two cows.

F

FAKE
You have two cow cops who are in love with each other but don't want to admit it. They have lots of gay sex. In between that, they adopt ragamuffin calves.
FAKE (2)
You have two bulls. Everyone likes pointing out that the blond one is half Japanese. It gets annoying, but that issue gets pushed back as you constantly have to stop the black one from trying to rape the blond one. But you give up because the blond was asking for it as he keeps leaving mixed messages. You let them adopt two calves and hope they work it out.
Fate/Stay Night
So as I pray, "Unlimited Cow Works."
Fate/Stay Night (2)
You have two cows. One is actually some sexy female King Arthur, and the other cow is Red. The Red cow summons your future self, who is one hot bull, but that doesn't matter. And there's some other random girl, but who the hell cares. All you want is some Saintly Cup so you can get water to your favorite cow. Choose wisely, or else your cow's neighbor becomes evil, forcing you receive a limb donation from your future bull-self.
Fate/Stay Night (3)
"Two cows die when they are killed."!!!
Fist of the North Star
Your two cows are already dead.
Fist of the North Star (2)
北斗二牛拳!
FLCL
You have two cows growing out of your head. You know somethings going to come out of it, but you focus more on the hot alien chick with the bass guitar. You'll just get eaten by the robot that she's in love with and get shot out of it like a cannon ball later, anyways.
Fruits Basket 
You have two cows - well, you really just have one cow. The other is Hatsuharu (you hugged him).
Fruits Basket (2)
You actually have a bipolar cow, in addition to a short tempered cat and an emo rat. A farmgirl with no common sense and a level of optimism not achievable by human beings comes to take care of them, and provide deep and meaningful advice whenever anyone has a bad day. The sadistic, (if somewhat pathetic) farmer attempts to make her life miserable. Eventually, the farmgirl snaps, and in a fit of psychotic rage stabs the farmer through the heart with a chopstick. The whole farm celebrates, until it is revealed that the farmgirl was pulling the strings all along, at which point her evil alter ego takes over and lets the pigs set up a communist dictatorship. The rat bites her and she dies of bubonic plague.
Fullmetal Alchemist
You have two cows. Cow one dies and you use alchemy to try to bring it back; cow two dies in the process and you lose an arm and a leg. You now have no cows, and are missing two limbs. You manage to reincarnate cow 2 into a cow shaped suit of armour. Then a third cow turns out to be a homunculus, and your mom.
Fullmetal Alchemist (2)
Wanna see some photos of my two adorable calves?
Fullmetal Alchemist (3)
You have one chimera that used to be two cows.
Fullmetal Alchemist (4)
We shouldn't have tried to play rancher, brother!
Fullmetal Alchemist (5)
Your two cows are dead sexy...in miniskirts!
Fullmetal Alchemist (6)
These two cows have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!!!
Full Metal Panic!
You have one cow and one bull. The cow likes to abuse the bull, yet the bull still hangs around. Sometimes, the cow disappears, but the bull always saves it, just to get abused more. Sometimes, two other cows, one with a big udder and one with gray eyes, along with a horny bull, meet and moo with the first bull.
Full Moon wo Sagashite
You have a cow with cancer who likes to sing. A shinigami rabbit, cat, dog, and a white paint blob with a hat come into the cow's life and make her a pop-star. Cow's cancer is magically cured, the cat disappears, comes back to life, credits roll. You feel sad for no apparent reason, but get over it in a matter of minutes.
Fushigi Yuugi
You have two cows. They get sucked into a magical book and become the bovine priestesses of warring countries. At least two of each cow's seven bovine warriors are gay.
Fushigi Yuugi (2)
You have a cow and a bull who spend 48 bloody episodes trying to decide whether or not they love each other. The ditzy cow is prone to mood swings and, worried that her mate doesn't love her, the cow runs off, gets into trouble, and is saved in the nick of time by the bull. They declare their undying love for each other. Repeat process 48 times.
Futanari
You have two cows. Turns out you won't need a bull.
Future GPX Cyber Formula
You have a bull that accidentally drive in a super prototype racing machine, and can't get his login account out of it, so the bull has to become a racer and race against other bulls.
Future GPX Cyber Formula 11
You have a bull that won the last racing tournament, lose multiple races in the next year's grandprix. The bull later gets his new machine, and race with his cow's brother, which has cool shades.
Future GPX Cyber Formula ZERO
You have a bull that get caught into a serious accident because he face void like horror world in the midst of the race, making him quit the grandprix, and live a normal bull's life with his cow, now his fiancée. It's just a matter of time untill the bull realize it that his destiny is on the racing tracks, not a farm.
Future GPX Cyber Formula SAGA
You have 2 bulls, One is a shaddy looking bull, and another is a doctor bull. They joins the AOI Formula team, sack its inhabitants, and take over the grandprix's rank with their monster racing machine. They get beaten badly by the bull that is the main character of the prequels.
Future GPX Cyber Formula SIN
You have one bull that is a former happy-go-lucky mentor to a novice bull racers, and a cow that used to be a stict bitch. They catch the viruses that make them aggorant and angst. The bull takes a challege with his former pupil which is now better than him.

G

Gakuen Heaven
You have 11 gay cows and a cat. The cat ate 9 of them and the last two have sex.
Galaxy Angel 
You have five cows.They cross the desert in pig costumes to lose weight. On the next episode, you have five basketball playing cows. On the next episode, they selfishly ruin the farmer's life. On the next episode, the cows form a giant robot. Also, all of this seems to happen in space.
Galaxy Express 999 (movie)
You are an independent orphan boy who dreams of having two cows. And so you embark upon an adventure. You ride a space tractor with a Matsumoto blonde. The voyage turns you from a boy into a man before you've even hit puberty. On the voyage, you learn how much it sucks to have two cows. You see what it does to people and how much they regret it. So you decide to destroy the planet where cows are made. Little do you realize that the blonde you've been traveling with is... a farmer!!!
Gantz
Your two cows have ended. How your new cows will be used is up to me. That's the theory anyways.
Gantz (2)
You have two cows. They have no skills and too much titty.
Gantz (3)
You have two cows. cow one is a horny little punk, and cow two is chivalrous, but whines a lot. They get their heads knocked off by a subway train while trying to save a hobo, and are teleported to this room. It has a black ball, and is filled with other cows who have also just died, including one busty cow. The black ball makes the cows hunt down aliens for points,until a Badass Golden statue WTFPWNS the cows with lasers and acid (including cow two and the busty cow). Cow one is the only survivor,and he gets pissed at the ball and goes home. He then falls in love with a non-busty cow, and is sent back to the room with other cows after a sociopathic cow goes on a rampage. Cow one continues to fight more aliens, until he beats an extra-strong one,and revives cow two. He then leaves the game, goes home, and is eventually gets killed (again) by vampire cows. the series goes on hiatus, returning later with cow two as the main character.
Gantz (4)
You have two cows, they are both pacifists, you cheer for the bad guys.
Gantz (5)
You have two cows that can’t make a decision to save the lives of many by killing one. They all die pathetically and you can’t help but wonder when the next sex scene will be.
Gatchaman 
You have four bulls and a cow in technicolor bird-themed spandex fighting to save the world from super-terrorists led by a gendershifting steer.
Gate Keepers
You have six cows working for some top-secret organization to kill cows that turn into big ass balls an' stuff that terrorize the world.
G Gundam
SEKIHA COW COW TENKYOKEN!!!
Genocyber
You have two cows which are siblings. They can turn into one giant robot and destroy all your cows (and the planet. Multiple times.)
Genoycyber (2)
You have two cows. One of them explodes. You have one cow. It explodes. You have no cow.
Genshiken
You have two otaku cows.
'Getter Robo
You have three crazy bulls which are hired by a wild old bull to pilot tecnicolor jets that can combine into three different robots. The old bull has two children. One is a hot teenage cow, another is a female calf that everyone treats like a male calf. The three bulls fight each other to date the teenage cow.
Ghost Hound
You actually have three crazy cows. One is a perpetually angry cow whose papa-bull committed suicide, one is a cow who bullied another cow on the farm to the point of suicide, and the other is a narcoleptic cross-dressing cow suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because he was kidnapped when he was younger, and wants to mate with a calf. They learn to cross their spirits into The Unseen World and have a bunch of unrelated incidents with ghosts and happy psychology lessons. So happy.
Ghost in the Shell
You have two cyborg cows. Most of the other cows in the pasture are also cyborgs. Absolutely nothing makes sense unless you watch all the cows in the pasture in order, at least three times.
thaCow in the Shell (again)
You have two cyborg cows and some sort of government conspiracy involving the Laughing Cow that no one understands.
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
You have two cows who spend an hour and some odd minutes quoting obscure literature and philosophy at each other.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand-Alone Complex
You claim to have two cows, as do countless other people. The secret cyborg police determine that your cyberbrains were hacked, causing you all to imitate someone who doesn't exist. Also, the cows were never there to begin with. Childish spider tanks, too.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand-Alone Complex (again)
By the time you figure out what the two cows are doing, you're sick to death of even the nifty theme song.
Ginga; Nagareboshi Gin
You have two cows. One of them goes off to join a bunch of wild cows fighting demeted evil bears. See below.
Ginga Densetsu Weed
You have two cows. Wait, I thought that show was about dogs!
Gintamoo
You have two cows and a pair of cow glasses. You watch a still frame for 20 minutes.
Grave of the Fireflies
You have two calves. They lose their mother when their city is bombed. They try to survive on their own, but they fail. And Japan loses WWII. You are incredibly sad.
Great Teacher Onizuka|Great Teacher MOO-nizuka
You have a bull whose dream is to meet a ton of young female calves, so he becomes a high school teacher... He encounters all sorts of fellow cows, good, bad, and plain nasty (the plain nasty one has really big udders! (Oops, that's in the manga...but a cow nonetheless. Anyway, the bull calls her a COW.)
Green Green
You have an entire herd of cows that have never seen a bull before, and an entire herd of bulls that have never seen a cow before. Somehow, you come to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to raise them on the same farm for a while.
Girls Bravo
You have a fragile stick figure bull who is allergic to all but one cow. There is also another bull that likes to hump female animals.
Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun
You have two ecchi cows. One is blue, the other is pink. Everything is fine until they turn you into their slave after listening to the ending song.
Grenadier
You have two cows. One is an arrogant bastard who doesn't believe in the use of guns, and prefers to wave swords at people. The other has a massive udder which is at least as large as three normal cows' udders, is skilled in the use of guns, and can use her udder to reload her weapon.
Guin Saga
You have three cows. Two of them are useless. The other cow is mutant and possesses a Leopard head. It beats the shit out of everything that gets near the two other cows.
Gundam (Any, they're all the same really)
You have two cows. One is a young, enterprising boy with a phenomenal and inexplicable talent for piloting giant robots who gets involved in a war encircling the globe even though he'd rather not. The other is a narcissistic bull with a tragic past who constantly wears a mask to hide his magnificently beautiful and strangely feminine face. They fight each other over and over in their giant robots. There are also other people and a war, but we don't give a moo about them. There's an overlying theme; maybe it's how war is stupid or innocence is lost or peace never lasts or something. It's all very existential for cows. But you don't care about that- you just want to see the young, enthusiastic cow and the masked and inexplicably beautiful cow duke it out in giant robots.
Gundam 00
For every two cows you have, one is dead by the end of the first season.
Gundam SEED
You have two cows. Both of them are supposed to product milk but usually just keep on retelling you about the day they became your cows.
Gundam SEED DENSITY
You fire one cow from Gundam SEED from your farm and bought new one in hope to get some milk. Unfortunately, both cows don't get along well and the new cow keep telling you about when its younger sister was killed. Eventually the old cow return to your farm and act like God (possibly hinting that it's actually Hindu), it kick the new cow's ass. With no single drop of milk produced, you're broke and wondering what's the point of this farm?
Gundam Wing
You have two cows. One of them is moody and angsty and the other is moody and irritating. There are lots of other cows, all with sad histories, and almost all of them have giant robots, and explosions happen and everybody fights everybody else so that nobody will ever have to fight again, just like the last infinity wars that ever happened and a lot of stuff kinda doesn't get resolved so they made a movie thing with cooler robots and less resolution at least that's what I remember from like five years ago on Cartoon Network. Oh, and the cows are gay in Japan.
Gunslinger Girl
You have a few Italian cows. They slowly start rescuing other cows who had been in bad accidents on the farm, and turn them into cyborg cows who shoot bad terrorist-y cows. The cows in charge inject the cyborg cows with drugs, making them feel no remorse for killing the terrorist cows. Then, each cow is paired with an Italian cow, but they aren't allowed to mate because the cyborg cow is usually underage. Life on the farm really, really sucks at this point.
Gunsmith Cats
You have two cows. One is obsessed with guns, and the other is obsessed with explosives and used to be a whore. They drive around in fast cars and get into a fight with a Russian cow with a bulletproof hide who gets shot by the first cow when it jumps out of an ambulance with a fire axe.
Guro
You have two raw hamburgers.

H

.hack in general
You have two cows who passed out while playing a video game. Something fucking weird is going on.
.hack//GU
You have two cows. Both are put into comas by some sort of super-PK.
.hack//Dusk
You have two cows having fun, lighthearted adventures in an mmorpg.
.hack//Roots
You have two cows playing an mmorpg where PKers run wild.
.hack//Sign
You wake up in a virtual world with two cows. You don't remember how you got there and can't get out.
.hack//Legend of the Twilight
Who cares about cows? You have Rena and euka!
Hamtaro
You have two cows called in to exterminate a batch of terminally-cute rodents that have infested you house. After everything from firing squadrons to nuclear radiation fails to eliminate the threat, you and your cows are killed in your sleep by leader of said hamster gang.
Hamtaro
You have two cows. They are out in the field - WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THOSE HAMSTERS, THEY'RE TALKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Haibane Renmei
You have two cows with useless wings suffering from existential angst. One cow flies away. You then have two more cows. This is bound to be repeated infinitely, so we shall just focus on two cows first.
Haunted Junction
You have two ghost cows. OH MY GOD!
Harem Anime in general
I'm afraid you can't stick to two cows. You have a whole herd.
Hayate the Combat Butler
You have two cows in a mansion. One is raped by Michael Jackson. The other is raped by otakus with maid fetishes.
Hellsing
You have two cows. One is a vampire cow and the other is a hot babe with huge udders. After Cow 1 shoots Cow 2 through the chest, he sucks her milk and they enter into an S&M master-slave relationship. Her refusal to drink milk and partake of the traditional vampire ways is a constant source of tension between the couple. An old man in glasses dreams of molesting the second cow because the woman he serves is really a man. A gay couple tries to talk the two cows into an orgy, but they refuse until a mysterious black Rastafarian from Counterstrike convinces them otherwise. An Irish Catholic Italian genetic mutant from the Bosnia is upset that he is left out of the sex party and tries to castrate men using kitchenware and the Bible. A group of KKK members tries to burn down the cows' farm, until they are shot by Nazis from South America, which are then shot by terrorists, which then join in the sex party. In the end, Terrorists win.
Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko
A perverted bull and a cow pray to a stone cat, and hilarity ensues--even dragging three more cows to the fray, I mean stampede.
Hetalia APH
You are a German bull and find yourself stuck in a pasture with a silent Japanese bull and a crazy Italian bull. You want out, but the neighboring pasture is home to a bunch of more crazier cattle. You are also a Nazi, but no one (including yourself) has realized this yet. In the end it will not matter because you discover each and every bull is gay. You share your hay with the Italian more than you care to admit. You might have a sick fetish for leather.
Hetalia APH (2) 
You have a Spanish bull and an Italian calf. The Spanish one is always pedofapping over the Italian one, and telling him how much he wants his churros. But when the calf's also-Italian younger brother shows up, the bull dumps his ass for the cuter one.
Highschool of the Dead
You have four cows, a calf, and two bulls fighting a world of zombie cattle.
Higurashi
You have two cows. On the night of the Watanagashi, one of them commits suicide and the other turns up missing. You begin to fear for your life and start to practice swinging a baseball bat.
Higurashi 2
You have two identical twin cows that like to dress up as each other and confuse the hell out of you. And at least one of them wants to brutally murder you.
Higurashi 3
You have four cows and a bull, two of your cows try to kill your bull who ends up killing himself. You have five cows and a bull, one of your cows kill all but one of your other cows. You have five cows and a bull, the bull can wish the cows dead. You have one cow who can predict the future. You have five cows and a bull again, turns out that you got two of the cows mixed up last time they killed. You have five cows and a bull, one of the cows thinks the world is being infested with aliens.
Higurashi 4
You have four cows and a bull. They have a lot of fun for a while. But the bull learns about the meat factory. The bull gets extremely paranoid that they will come for him. The cows laugh at him (in a crazy way, too), and as a result the bull kills all the cows and himself.
Higurashi 5
You have two cows. You hear someone behind you, muttering, "Not again!"
Higurashi 6
You have four cows and a bull again even though you're sure they died. What the hell is going on?
Higurashi 7
You have two cows and you want to take them hooooooome!
Higurashi 8
You have three cows, one turns emo in .5 seconds, another hatches a sceme to rid the world of all viowent anime, and another begins dating a coyote.
Higurashi 9
Do you know Oyashiro-Sama has two cows? You kill one, the other kills you. No, Hinamizawa.
Higurashi 10
You have two cows. THEY'RE A LIE!
Honey and Clover
You have two cows. One is a midget painter that doesn't have any character development until the second season. The other one just cries. A lot.
Howl's Mooving Castle
You are a hot cow who won't admit it, who meets a bull with magic powers, but then an incredibly fat cow turns you old. Then, you travel around and find a scarecrow, who takes you to a moving farm and then you meet a fire demon. He wants out of the farm. Then you find out that the bull from earlier was actually the cow magician Howl who gets really whiny, and then you help him out and the fat cow loses all of her powers. Nothing else interesting happens.
Hunter x Hunter
You have two calves, who are much stronger than most cows. A clown wants to have sex with one of them.
Hunter x Hunter 2
You have two cows and many hiatuses.

I

Initial D 
Every morning, you must deliver two cows to the top of a mountain by car. You have a cup of milk in the cup holder, and you must deliver the cows without spilling the milk.
Initial D (2)
MO-OOOM, MO-OOOM (sound of my car's exhaust)
Initial D Second Stage
A herd of bulls with one make of tractor tries to rule this pasture called Gunma--but a bull with an old tractor stopped their romp.
Initial D Fourth Stage 
You have two bulls and their entourage stampeding across a pasture known as Japan, moowing over other obviously better bulls (and one solitary cow) in the process.
I My Me Strawberry Eggs
You have two bulls who masquerade as cows so they can teach female calves.
Ika-Moo-soo-me
You have two cows, de-geso.
Ikkitousen
You have two cows. All they do is show their panties while they fight each other with colorful bells in their ears.
Ikkitousen 2
You have many cows and a naughty camera man.
Interstella 5555(movie) 
There are four blue cows in a band who get kidnapped, turned into normal colors, and forced to perform on earth. Another blue cow comes and frees them, but dies in the process. They eventually figure out the entire ordeal revolves around an evil Earl and his cult who kidnap cows to get gold records to take over the world... somehow. They kill the Earl and are discovered and sent back to their planet. Then a young cow's parents tuck him in, revealing it was all just his dream while listening to a Daft Punk record.
Inuyasha
You're a half-dog demon, and you're wandering around with two cows and a very aroused bull, and you're all looking for the Jewel of Four Souls so that you can wish for more cows. Also, the first cow is constantly bitching, and yelling "SIT!" at you constantly, which is both demeaning and painful (damn necklace). She keeps calling out your name, and you really just want to say, "Shut up, bitch." But you can't, because you are constantly saying her name.
Inuyasha
You have two cows. You spend more time telling people about your ranch's history than milking and taking care of them, so it takes you much longer than other ranches to produce the same amount of milk.
Inuyasha
You have two cows. They team up with two other cows and a rat-thing and set out on a long, boring journey through medieval Japan and you can never miss out on the story because they spend about 20 minutes talking about shit that took place in every episode prior to that one. But no one cares. Everyone just wants to see the part where the cows have a massive orgy while the rat thing watches.

J

Jigoku Shoujo
You have two cows. One hates the other very much because it has been doing mean things. This cow then goes to a site at midnight after watching 3 hours of porn to write the other cows name in. Some freaky cow gives this cow a cow doll with rope around it's neck. When this cow pulls this rope, freaky cow goes and kills the other cow and sells it's meat for $10 a kilogram. Though the catch is, when the first cow dies the freaky cow will sell it's meat for $5 a kilogram.
Jigoku Shoujo (2)
You have a young cow from cattle hell with three straw cow dolls always on call to exact revenge on anyone if the aggrieved doesn't have the balls or if he's just a plain wuss who gets a fair share of wedgies in school by bullies.
Jigoku Shoujo FutaKOWmori
That cow from hell and her posse returns with a rather annoying little calf (who pisses that bald straw cow off in particular); and then there's a young bull blamed for every cow disappearing in their farm as all of the cattle found out that sending everyone to the slaughterhouse for $5 a kilogram (make that $6.50--gasoline ain't cheap nowadays) is a whole heap of fun.
Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae
That cow from hell resurrects with her posse, but the annoying little calf returns as a toy kid's ride attended by the new bull in town.
Jin Roh
You have two cows. One is actually a wolf and kills the other cow at the end of the film. Plus the other cows wear some pretty cool armor and carry massive machine guns.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
You have two cows. One of them can stop time and invert colors. The other drops a tank lorry on you.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (again)
(tank drops on you with cow on top) MOODADADADA WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure 2
Moodamooda! MOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODAMOODA! ZA WARUDO!
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure 3
You have a family of cows. 7 of them have super natural powers. They betray you and punch you to death with they CowTands.
Jungle Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu
You have one calf and its drunken mother living in a strangely modern jungle, where the calf is repeatedly eaten by its adopted sister. Chest hair!

K

Kaichou-wa Maid-sama
You have one cow who's a tough Master of the Farm but a milkmaid in secret; and a bull is interested in her.
Kaiji
You have no cows, and owe a lot of milk. A mysterious man promises you can win two cows if you participate in some gambling games. After lots of crying, you finally win the two cows, but you get full of yourself and lose them in another bet, along with four of your fingers.
Kamichu!
You have two cows serving one young cow who is a deity. Bow down before her or she'll send a stampede on 'ya...but she's so timid she can't hurt the fly on her back.
Kannazuki No Miko
You have two lesbian cows, one is the priestess of the sun and the other, the priestess of the moon. To the cow of the moon does not like she's miko cosplay kimono and she stole the kimono to the priestess of the sun and became allied in the end with the evil by shame, being an excuse so that the cow of the sun hates she.
Kanon
Seven years ago, you had two cows. Uguu.
Karin the Chibi Vampire
You have two cows. One is a goth and the other has nosebleeds all the time.
Karin the Chibi Vampire 2
You have 57 cows. Two are vampire hunters and another one is 200 and doesn't know what tvs are and has less cleavage than her granddaughter.
Kaze no Stigma
You have two cows. One is emo and controls fire. One is imba and can make the wind blow. The emo one hates the imba one, but we all know she is just in love with him and jealous of his powers.
Kekkaishi
The cows family and the cattle family are fighting over who are the legitimate successors for the production of milk, while they're actually the same exact thing with different names. A member of each family realizes that they both does their job right, and decide to ignore the problems between the two families and rather fight other mammals so they could monopolize the milk industry. They actually succeeded, as nobody now drinks products other than theirs.
Keroro MOOnso
You have five cows trying to take over the world with the aim of plastering their faces on all sorts of dairy products, especially milk cartons.
Keroro MOOnso (2)
"AFURO MOONSO! AFURO MOONSO WA, A-FU-RO! YAWW!"
Keroro MOOnso (3)
You have two cows de arimasu!
Kichiku Megane
You have a gay cow that gets raped by all the other cows on the farm. When said cow puts on glasses, it becomes sexy and rapes all of the other cows back. So technically, you have two cows.
Kiddy Grade
You have several pairs of cows with special powers, who travel the known universe arresting criminal cows. Your farmhands secretly want to moove to another galaxy. Some of your cows find out, and one pair goes on the lamb, while another tries to take over your haywagon. Oh, and one of the cows is your mother.
Kinnikuman
Wow, look at THEIR CALVES!
Kino's Journey
You have two cows that travel around the world, only staying in each country for three days.
Kino's Journey
"Those two cows are not beautiful, therefore they are."
Kiss X Sis
You have two cows engaged in an extreme form of lovey-dovey with a bull which is their stepbrother.
Kow-On
You have four cows trying to save a defunct light music club, despite distractions from desserts, trips to the beach, the fact that one of them is a moron who forgets guitar chords when she studies for tests, and the fact that cows have hooves and can't play musical instruments.
Kujibiki Unbalance
You have two cows that are watched by the otaku cows.
Kuroshitsuji
You have two cows... one is an emotionally numb boy-girl and the other one is a Jesus butler.
Kuroshitsuji 2.0
I'm just one hell of a cow.
Kuso Miso Technique
Uho! Hot cow...

L

Ladies Versus Butlers
You have three bulls and a bunch of cows (one of them is a crossdresser) training to become either masters or servants. Two of the cows are interested in one bull, but has no guts telling it to his face.
Last Exile
You have 2 orphan cows who fly wingless anti-gravity things in a world full of giant wingless anti-gravity things. They have to deliver a little calf to a rogue mercenary cow, who is so badass he doesn't need to show any emotion, EVER. Creepy albino cows who own the world then try to steal the calf and all the cows hate them because they have all the technology... and money... and basic necessities for living.
The Law of Ueki
You have the power to change two cows into trees. Insert environmentalist message here.
Legend of the Galactic Heroes
You have two cows. They speak bad German and fight each other. In the process, fifteen million other cows die. You fall asleep after episode 94.
Legend of the Overfiend
You have two cows. They are repeatedly raped by giant demonic tentacles.
Le Chevalier D'eon 
You have one French cow and one schizophrenic French bull. The cow mysteriously floats down the Seine, slaughtered by an unknown farmer. The bull wears udders for half the series searching for the butcher responsible.
Love Hina 
You have a bull. Who subsequently walks into a field containing 6 resident cows. The main cow becomes intelligent when wearing glasses and violent when not wearing glasses. That cow's best friend spends all day revealing her udders. The youngest cow has the hots for your bull, but is seriously underage. The other three cows are psychotic and a computer whiz, highly psychotic and psychotic and helpful. There's also two other cows - one which has the hugest udders you've ever seen but a complete ditz, and a psychotic young cow. Your bull is abused by all the psychopaths, even though they grow to love him. Despite being a bull, he even manages to enter a university, fulfilling his lifelong dream and somehow attracting his one true love. In the interests of the story, all the bovines receive a happy ending. You're still worried about the cow that claimed to be your bull's sister, though.
Love Hina (2) 
You have a cow and a bull. Something about a university. The bull tries to express his affections, only managing to reveal the cows udders. She punches him and they grow closer. Repeat.
The List 
You two cows that split into a trillion cows from every franchise you can possibly imagine. The cows fight to the death in a cataclysmic battle to find the greatest cow. The battle ends in tears as the cow representing Arceus stands atop a pile of dead bodies drenched in blood. The battle is made into a screen play, a book, a TV show, a movie, a flash animation and a sketch show before you are sued for immense copyright violation.
Loveless 
You have two cows with the same name. One ("attack cow") uses words to create explosions and generally violate reality while the other ("sacrificial cow") tries to look small. If either one is hit, chains appear from nowhere and bind them both.
Loveless 2 
You have two cows, one of them is underage and still has his tail, the other cow wants the other underage cow but only because the underage cow's brother told him to.
Love Love? 
You have two cows. One is trying to be the camera man for a "modeling" show. He loves the second cow. Random (underage) cows walk in every time he gets a semi-chance.
Lucky Star
You have two cows. Konata tries to raise them as if they were cows in a video game.
Lucky Star 2
You have two cows to sell to "Legendary Girl A." You dress as an anime character and use crazy special effects to sell your cows. But "Legendary Girl A" is a few yen short and leaves.
Lucky Star 3
You have four cows. One of them looks like a loli, cosplays as Haruhi, and likes anime as much as you do. The rest really serve no purpose.
Lupin III
Correction: you had two cows.

M

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya
You have two cows in an anime. While you watch them, your brain explodes from confusion.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (5)
You have two cows. One of them reads 24/7. You enslave the other one because she is a loli with big udders.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (00)
You have two cows on a search for time travelers, espers, and aliens! You also make random home videos.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (4)
You have two bulls and three cows. One bull is a metrosexual psychic and the other one's a complete wimp. One cow is an alien bibliophile and the other is a time-traveling loli with big udders. They all spend their time making sure the last cow doesn't get pissed and destroys the entire universe. Eventually, you realize all the episodes are in the wrong order.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (1)
You have some number of cows. They successfully convert you to their religion.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (?!?)
You start whit a bull, but he doesn't like normal cows. Actually he likes horses, starting whit pony 'tails'.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
You have two cows. They spend two weeks grazing before the end of the summer.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
Your two cows spend two weeks grazing before the end of the summer. You have a sense of déjà vu.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
You have two cows, and they spend two weeks grazing before summer ends. You have a sense of déjà vu.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
Your two cows spend a fortnight in August grazing. You have a sense of déjà vu.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
You have two cows and a sense of déjà vu. The cows spend a fortnight grazing.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
Summer is almost over. Your two cows spend a fortnight grazing. You still have a sense of déjà vu.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
The end of the summer is approaching. You have two cows, and they spend two weeks grazing. You still have a sense of déjà vu.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumooya (∞)
It's August, and summer is about to end. You and your two cows have a feeling the joke might finally be getting old by now.
Maburaho
You innocently walk into a school of magic people
You leave with three cows wanting your genes
Once you've given up and one has had your genes, the other two will slice you

up!

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha  
You have two cows. Both do magic, both are loli. One of them met a ferret and learned the ways of the beam spamming. The storyline follows the Gundam two cows formula after that, except the cows don't need the giant robots to duke it out.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha (2) 
You have one cow, said cow beats the crap out of a 2nd cow, you now have two cows.
MOO-ria+MOOli
You have two cows. Wait a second--the other is an insanely sadistic hell-raising crossdressing bull that annoys the cow into insanity.
Maria-sama ga Miteru
You have two cows. One is the French older sister and the other is the French younger sister. Lesbian cow-drama ensues.
Mitsudomooe
You have three terror calves.
MOO-ria-sama ga Miteru
You have two sexually ambiguous cows that spend all their time mooing at each other without actually making out.
MOO-ria-sama ga Miteru
You have a pasture full of cows, each with a lesbian-ish relationship.
Mazinger Z
You have two giant robot cows. One has rocket hooves, the other can shoot off her udders. They fight a bearded evil bull and the result of sewing half a cow and half a bull. UDDER FIRE!
Moo-HiME
You have two cows...... who have special horns that can materialize larger, bigger monster cows to fight other monster cows. If their monster cow dies, their favourite bull also dies. Over time, your two cows will meet other cows just like them. It should be noted that one cow has ridiculously huge udders.
Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
You have two cows. One was a god, the other likes to buy stuff. A third annoying atheist cow joins, as well as other once god cows. Highly accurate references are made to Norse Mythology. Your head explodes from the information.
Moojacko (1)
There is this space cow with a whiny calf for a brother and a wise cow for a sister giving lots of neat gadgets to this bull.
Moojacko (2)
MOO-JA!
Mooran High School Host Club
You have two cows. One resembles Michael Jackson and the other is Brad Pitt. They work in a man whore brothel inside a school.
Mooshishi
You have two cows that help people with problems with little creatures called Mooshi
Moonster
You have two cows. Both are sick. The head farmer tells you to save the cow who get you more milk. You disobey the head farmers orders and save the other cow because it came in first. The head farmer screws you over by taking away your tractor. Then mysteriously the head farmer (and his cronies) die after eating some poisoned hamburgers. Some dude from The Dept of Agriculture suspects that you murdered the head farmer because you're a genius at milking cows. Nine years later you find

out that the cow you saved was the one who killed the head farmer (and his cronies) with some poisoned hamburgers. You try to prove that the cow you saved was the murderer but nobody believes you because it is a cow. You question whether or not you can really kill a cow. You're just a cow milker after all. You obtain a high precision cow brander. The dude from The Dept of Agriculture believes that you and the cow are one in the same. You try to kill the cow with a cow brander at the stockyards but you are stopped by the cow's crony, the goat. The goat manages to get a hold of your high precision cow brander but you also get ahold of it's semi-automatic cow brander. You hit the goat and it falls. Your hands stop shaking. You no longer consider yourself a cow milker despite the numerous amount of times you milk people's cows. Finally you meet the cow you saved nine years ago in the quiet village of Cowtown. The cow causes all the cows in the town to go mad cow and brand each other. The guy who had originally owned the cow tries to kill the cow (along with himself) but is killed by the goat who dies because of a mortal wound inflicted by that dude from The Dept of Agriculture. Before the goat dies it asks the cow if it can see "The Pasture of Milk" to which the cow replies "moo". The cow then tells you that not all cows are created equal. You are on the fence of whether or not you should brand the cow. The cow's twin sister tells you not to brand the cow because she has forgiven the cow. The cow replies "that's just a bunch of bull" and then tries to kick a puppy. You don't want the puppy to get kicked but you don't want to kill the cow because the cow's twin sister doesn't want you to. The puppy's drunken dad, The Dog, than bites the cow. The dude from the Dept of Agriculture requests that you save the cow (again) so that it can be used as a material witness. You save the cow (again). You meet the cow's mother who tells you the cow's name. You go to the barn to tell the cow who is in a cowma its name but then imagine it waking up and telling you that it's mother had traded its twin sister for some alfalfa, and that the cow isn't sure whether the mother meant to actually trade the cow and not the cow's sister because the cow and the cow's sister look virtually identical especially if the cow wears a cowbell. You wake up from what you though was a dream and leave. Not long after your departure the cow disappears from the barn...or does it?

N

Mooir
You have two cows. One of them is a hot French cow with a totally un-Japanese name and the other is a kinda hot Spanish cow with a Japanese name even though she's Spanish, dammit. Another cow comes and takes the Spanish cow away but the Spanish cow ends up killing her anyway because she was a bitch. They apparently save the world. There are too many flashbacks to know exactly what's going on.
Moononoke Hime
You have had your arm injured by a tapeworm god, and set out on a quest to cure it. You run into a village in which a woman has two cows which she rescued from the slaughter. She hitches them up to plow her fields so that she can afford to buy them grain, driving the pasture gods mad. She and her cows kill them, and everyone lives confusingly ever after.
Naruto 
You have two cows which became trained mooja cows!! Believe it!! One of them obtained the Moogekyo Sharingan after killing another cow and went on to massacre the whole family, leaving the second cow alive, before becoming a Moosing-nin?!! The second cow vow revenge and followed Moorochimaru to obtain great power!! Will the second cow succeed in his quest!?!? Watch out for the Cows Go Wild One Hour Special!!! Moo!!!
Naruto (2)
You have two cows. Believe it!! One of them wants to become the great Hocowge despite having the offensive capabilities of your kid sister. Believe it!! The other one wants to kill his evil demon brother. Believe it!!
Naruto (3)
You have a mission involving two cows. It will take months and months of filler garbage, flashbacks, and scenes of Rock Lee training in the forest with his teacher before you get back to the storyline. Believe it!!
Naruto (Once more, with vigor!)
You have 2 cows, you prosper and wonder why no ninjas have killed you and taken your cows yet.
Naruto (5)
You have two cows, dattebayo.
Naruto (6)
You have two cows, one is a blond retard and the other emo faggot, the blond one wants to make buttsex with the other.
Naruto (Oh, alright, one last time)
You have two cows. Nobody likes Naruto.
Naruto (my version)
You have one cow. It uses the Shadow Replication jutsu. Now you have two cows.
Naruto (Japan version)
You have three cows. One is emo and can kill you by merely poking you. The other cow has a big forehead and hates the third cow. The third cow hates the first cow, then likes him, and yells "DAMN IT!" constantly. Youtube get's bought out by google and the three cows can no longer be seen in america. Damn google.
Naruto:the abridged series
Heh heh: Moo
Nausicow
You have two cows in a post-apocalyptic future. They keep going on bezerker rampages, and only a modestly hot chick can calm their blind fury and save the few surviving members of the human race.
Nausicow
You have two trillion cows. They all live in a toxic jungle and kill any humans that try to burn the jungle down, except it turns out the cows are doing it for the human's own good and the forest is actually purifying everything and everything turns out to be a goddamn lie AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!
Negima
You have a calf. The calf has 31 cows.
Negima 
You have two cows, many other people like the cows and make several failing attempts to raise cows just as well. One of your cows is a wizard who is sent to teach a class of underage cows with abnormally large utters; people can't seem to decide what happens after that.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
You thought the show was about owning two cows but it turns out... well, you have no idea what the show was about.
Neon Genesis Evangelion (2)
You have two giant robotic cows. You make your mental-disorder-guidebook children ride in their stomachs to save the world. The cows turn out to not really be robotic. One gets BSE and starts eating other cows. The other cow accidentally attacks and kills the plot. The plot dies. Nothing makes sense anymore. Cattle fanatics praise it as the best bovine-related anime of all time.
Neon Genesis Evangelion (1+1+1)
You have two cows. No, that doesn't work, because you actually have at least four cows, maybe six depending on how you build your metaphor. Let's stick to six. Three of the cows pilot giant robots that are actually organic lifeforms. The six cows you have suffer from narcissism. You run out of time and money, so with only two episodes remaining you forego a resolution and send four of your cows to therapy. And you can only let one finish the therapy because so little time is left. Later, you make some movies to end the story properly.
Neon Genesis Evangelion (20/5)
You have two cows. One is the most masturbated to blue haired anime cow in the world, the other redhead holds second place. You'd like to milk their utters, and think about why your bull doesn't love you.
Neon Genesis Evangelion (yes, again)
You have two cows. No, make it three cows. They're probably lonely enough that they'd have sex with you, but you'd really rather just lie around in your room, listen to tapes on your Walkman, and feel sorry for yourself.
Neon Genesis Evangelion (what is this, 7?)
You have two cows and a bull. One of the cows is actually the mother of the bull. Wait, what?
Neon Genesis Evangelion
You have two cows who want to become one of body and mind. So they destroy the world and put a tree in the vagina on the giant girl's forehead. Then they decide that was a bad idea, so they stop. Then the first cow strangles another cow for no apparent reason. You cry yourself to sleep.
Nerimoo Daikon Brothers
You have two singing cows about to be slaughtered. But Nabeshin makes it okay. See also: Excel Saga
Nooo-dame Cantabile
You have a bull who wants to become herdmaster, and a cow with lots of flies following her because she only bathes three times a week.
Noein 
You have a cow that has the power tho create more cows, it creates two cows.

O

Oban Star-Racers 
You have one cow. She runs away from the farm and finds a black-and-white bull that is her father, but doesn't know it. They get tangled up with a bunch of other bulls, including a trigger-happy gunner bull and a handsome, metrosexual steer prince, and enter a great race held by the almighty Farmer, who promises the winner whatever they want. The one cow races a bunch of freaky-looking aliens on two planets in the hope of reviving the second cow, her dead mother, but is sidetracked when an evil crow from another dimension pops up out of nowhere and does bad stuff.
Omamori Himari 
"You have two cows na no."
One Piece 
You have two cows. One has hidden all the weed in the world and is executed. The other decides to go out, sail and search for that weed, while adding more animals to his boat. On the way they eat everything they find, and bash into other cows, sometimes at the same time.
One Piece (2)
You have two...no, three...no, six cows, a camel, a bird thing, and a reindeer. In the beginning, everything seems interesting. Unfortunately, after you get pissed off with some cow named Moofy and the crappy-ass theme song, you just stop watching.
One Piece (3) 
You have two cows. Their udders are edited out of each shot because they look too suggestive.
Ouran High School Host Club
You have a series of two bulls (even the one that looks like a calf) and one cow who pretends to be a bull to pay back the series of bulls for a vase in a china shop. The bulls are all gay in one way or another, but not really.
Outlaw Star
You have two cows but everything you want costs three, so you say "I'll give you another cow when I make it big."
Ore no Imouto
You have one otaku cow who drags her big brother into liking eroge, making him meet three other cows, one against the whole otaku hobby with a nasty knife fetish.
Outlaw Star again
You and your kid assistant start an adventure with two cows. One is a pirate chick with one eye. The other is a bio-android with no self esteem who sets feminism back about 80 years. You get to see her completely naked in that one episode opening. The first cow blows herself up over a star, so you get two more cows. The first new cow is a samurai. The second is a cat-cow beast with a fiery temper, an excitable personality, and some nice tits that you get to see in one episode. And so with a quirky crew, you fly around space looking for the Galactic Barnyard.
Dirty pictures of Urt!
Outlaw Star one more time
You have two cows and a giant red phallus that's better than all the other phallus for some reason, also you have a smaller phallus you carry with you all the time that's special for some reason and you keep losing and gaining cows while on some crazy quest ofr treasure and/or revenge or something. But seriously, you're flying around in a huge freaking red penis, who does that?

P

Panty and Stocking
You have two slutty cows kicked out of Heaven but are busting a few Ghosts in this rundown city. Guided by a gay bull and a horny dog.
Paranoia Agent
You have two cows. One is a cute and cuddly calf doll modeled after a calf you had as a child. This cow is loved by all of Japan, where it has its own cartoon show and a huge line of merchandise. The other cow is a maniac with roller skates and a baseball bat. And everything is the baseball bat cow's fault. You never did anything wrong. Even your doll says so. It's not your fault. And the baseball bat cow is causing problems for a great many other people as well. It's all his fault! It's not your fault!
Pet Shop of Horrors
You have two cows. One of them is a cop. You can't really tell if the one cow is male or female, but you're pretty sure they want to bang each other regardless. Also, there's man-eating rabbits.
Photokano
A bull photographing a herd of cows. 'Nuff said.
Please Teacher
You meet a hot cow with large udders and fall in love with her. But another cow professes her love for you. You contract mad cow disease and pass out many times before bonking the hot cow with large udders.
Please Twins
You meet two cows, one of them may be your sister. After lots of hilarious hi-jinks you get to bonk the cow that isn't your sister. But it still has complications as the sister is mooing over you incessantly (to the point of raiding your bath!!! GAAAAA).
Pocowmon
Milky is a young trainer from Barn City. With Picowchu as his best companion he intends to be the best trainer ever. Every day new cows appear. Gotta catch the 150 151 Missingno. and 'M both count?! 153 oh, great, a new generation 253 all right, we'll count the Unown 278 279 Shiny? those exist? And they count?! 502 780 784 2196 48920 700,000-and-increasing-by-the-second-number of Pocowmon species!
Pani Poni Dash!
You have two cows. Both are experimented for hair/ahoge regrowth, but using different chemicals from each other. The scientist will bitchslap you if you criticize her works.
Pita Ten
You have two cows-su! Let's milk them together, this will be fun-su!
Pokémon
You have two Miltank and a lot of annoying theme songs.
Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea
You have one cow. It turns into a little girl who loves to eat ham.
Potemayo
You have two cows. Other cow born from your fridge and the other cow tries to cut the other cow in half with its axe.
Princess Lover!
You are a bull promoted by your farmer-keeper, and eventually you meet four cows with huge udders: two are princesses, one is a fashion model, and the last one is your handmaid.
Princess Mononoke
You have two cows, but one is shot and infected with a demon spirit from the West. The other is a forest god who gets decapitated by a secret-agent monk and a traditional ancient Japanese capitalist-entrepreneuress.
Princess Tutu
You have two cows who have dance-offs over who gets to help the bull Prince.
Pucca
(British/Korean anime counts!) You have two cows. One of them runs a noodle house. The other one is madly in love with a ninja bull and stalks him all over the globe while helping him defeat his most dangerous enemies, all of which are also bulls. You never know what the heck is going on because they rush past you at ridiculous speeds while you're stuck battling Santa Claus.
Puni Puni Poemy
You have two cows. Just as you're about to give up on their inane ramblings, they have lesbian schoolgirl sex. They join the one cow's crapload of sisters, generally mock the magical girl genre, and throw in more sex just so you pay attention. It also has Nabeshin, explaining everything. Oh, and these cows are banned in New Zealand.

Q

Q-Ko
You have two robotic cows, one falls in love and the other follows orders, they fight each other. In between plenty of udder jokes are made. That's about it.

R

Ranma Nibun No Ichi (Ranma 1/2)
You have two bulls. After a trip to China, one turns into a cow with over-sized teats and the other turns into a panda when splashed with cold water. A crazy 3000 year old cow from China and her hot teenage daughter chase you. Hilarity ensues.
Reborn!
You have one cow. He's really fucking annoying.
Reborn! (2)
You have one five-year-old cow. Sometimes the cow is fifteen.
Reborn! (3)
You have one cow. You shoot it on the forehead. It's forehead starts to burn and freezes you.
Rebuild of Evangelion
You have two cows. They look the same except one was made with better CGI.
R.O.D. Read or Dream
You have two cows. They adopt a third cow from the government. This cow hates books. Forty pages later, the government returns to "collect" the third cow, but your two cows slay them with origami butterfies. All of the cows get melodramatic. You puke.
Revomootionary Heifer Mootena
You have two cows. One of them is trying to take over the Mooniverse by sexually manipulating everyone around them, including their little sister. If you are female then you obsess over this one despite the fact that he is clearly an abusive child molester. The other cow hates him and tries to frustrate his desires by being as manipulative as him but constantly fails because she is obsessed with her betrayal by a childhood friend. If you are male then you are forced to deny being in love with her as you could never possibly have her because she is a neurotic lesbian. Regardless of gender you constantly write articles to be rejected by BovineMovement.nu proving that one sucks and the other is godlike. The male cow's little sister isn't a cow to begin with but turns into one to fit in with everyone else in a completely incomprehensible fashion. Everyone ignores the farmer as she is a boring character and has a stupid hair colour. Meanwhile, two goats quietly gloat that all is going exactly to plan...
Rose of Versailles
You have too many cows. When the next one is born, you raise her as a bull. At least two other cows have hardcore lesbian crushes on her.
Rozen Maiden
You have two cows, desu!
Rozen Maiden again
You have 7 cows that start a game in which they try to kill each other so that they could meet their father bull and become Alice. Somehow, you get involved with the game and 3 cows use your life force to kill the other cows. It turns out that one of the cows was fake and the game starts over again, resurrecting those who were previously killed. Also, desu!
Rozen Maiden
You haven't left your room in 3 years. You discover seven cow dolls. One of them was never completed and hates "Father". One of them doesn't show up in the first season. One of them is whiny and childish. One of them thinks she's the ruler of the world and calls everyone servants. One of them says "Desuu~" a lot. One of them says "Boku" a lot. The last one kills the other cow dolls, crumbles, and the other ones are revived so they can kill each other again.
Rozen Maiden
You have 2 cows which hate each other, 2 cows which look the same, 2 cows which are lesbians and 2 cows which have roses for eyes because the farmer was a sadist.
Rurouni Kenshin
You used to be a deadly killer in the past. After many years, you have now meet two cows that vigorously supports you. Both of them are martial artists. Because you lived during the turmoil of revolution, you dare not to kill a soul. Even though you carry a reverse-edged katana, you kick bad guys' ass with your two companion cows.
Rurouni Kenshin(1)
You have some caws barn in meiji era, where all live "happily", but then, there's a conclusion where all is sad, sad, sad......red-haired cow dies happily with lepra (or strange red sympton that happens in quite a number of cownimes), the cow in love with red-haired cow contracts lepra by the act of reproduction (willingly). Every other cow dies later from depression because of the sad ending, or die in CWII (Cow War II) in some fight of the know far-right "cow hito" government (which makes the leftist red-haired cow (now dead) roll in his cow grave).
Rurouni Kenshin(2)
You have two cows de gozaru.
Rurouni Kenshin(2.5)
You have two cows, that you do.
Rurouni Kenshin(3)
Oro...You have two cows?

S

Saikano
You have a bunch of cows and bulls. They all die, along with the world. You also turn emo.
Saikano 2
You have two cows. One is turned into a living WMD by the government. Everyone dies.
Sailor Mooon
A herd of cows (eleven or so) wearing sailor tops with miniskirts and battle demons. The little pink one is fucking annoying.
Sailor Moon R
You have earned several cows from Crystal Tokyo in the 30th century! Woop woop!
Sailor Moon S
You have just earned two lesbian cows and a goth calf! Congratulations!
Sailor Moon SuperS
You have a whole CIRCUS of cows. And some mirrors, which Michiru is going to love.
Sailor Moon StarS
You have more cows now, and three of them are either boys that turn into girls or the other way around, nobody can work out which it is.
Saint Seiya
You have two bronze cows: For no reason what-so-ever, the silver cows are completely useless against the supposedly much weaker bronze cows. Most of the cows are gay looking (Some even thought as females by fans), that's why it gets soooooooooooooooooooo much fucking girl fans.
Saint Seiya 2
Your have two bronze cows: They all are said to be under 30 or 40 years old although all of them look like young adults.
Saiyuki
You have three cows and a gun toting rancher on a cattle drive to the Wild West. Much bickering and frequent demon attacks ensue while the hermaphroditic deity that arranged it all watches with great amusement.
Saiyuki
You have four bulls with different personality disorders, living at close quarters. They travel endlessly (and pointlessly) west on a cattlevan, killing evil assassin cows and seducing lady cows. Their task is to stop the resurrection of a giant evil mutant bull that will destroy everything!
Saiyuki
A story of four vain cows who'd "kill the Buddha if they meet him."
Sakigake!! Otokojuku
I AM THE PRINCIPAL OF TWO COWS, EDAJIMA HEIHACHI!
Samurai Deeper Kyo
You have a cow, actually many cows. One of these cows had a bull inside it. For some reason it actually became a bull who had a cow inside it. One of the other cows wanted to kill that cow-bull(or bull-cow), but then falls in love with it. Why? It was producing "milk" in very large amounts.
Samoorai Champ-moo
You are an average individual working at a restaurant. Two cows destroy it. You save these two cows and they accompany you on your journey to find your father. They always want to kill each other. The first cow is a crazy, psychotic cow who wants to kill everyone anyway. The second cow is a quiet, reserved cow who could kill everyone if he wanted to. During the journey other cows constantly come up wanting to kill your two cows.
Samurai Champloo(2)
You have three cows. They meet each other and... so long story... then, they set on a journey looking for the bull who smells like milkflower.
Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
You have a depressed/emo bull teacher and a class of weird cows. This is funny.
s-CRY-ed
You have two bulls. They have a deep, profound hatred for each other for no seeming reason and repeatedly try to kill each other with the power of yelling really loudly, but they eventually team up to defeat the creepy, anorexic bull who is trying to accumulate all the milk in the universe to quench his thirst.
School Days
You have a cow, then you get with another cow and turn into a huge man-whore. But it's ok, the second cow kills you and then the first cow kills her and runs off with your head on a Nice Boat.
Seitokai Yakuindomoo
You have two perverted cows and a calf who recruit the new bull in the Academy as assistant to the chief cow.
Seikon no Qwaser
You have two cows (with humongous udders) that gives magical milk that turns a special bull into a super-bull.
Sekimatsu Occult Gakuin
You have a hot cow and a time-traveling bull looking for the mythical key to the farm.
Serial Experiments Lain 
There are two cows. One is a computer and the other is God. The cows are all connected. Your head explodes and your consciousness gets sent to the Internet.
Shiki
Vampire cows and vampire bulls plague a farm, turning everyone into vampire cows and vampire bulls. The veterinarian, as a result, becomes nuts when he is out of a solution trying to stop them from beating him to the milk.
Shingeki no Kyoujin
Giant cows running a stampede and trying to eat the tiny cows. But the tiny cows fight back.
Shinzo
You have four cows. One of them is actually a cow and is completely helpless but wants to go to Shinzo. And has a magic car-thing. The other three are some sort of alien or genetic experiment and can turn into super-powerful cows. And sometimes they turn into one super-powerful cow and pwn everything. But then the universe explodes and everything happens all over again except the first cow (that's actually a cow) is replaced with a younger cow that has a bazooka that materializes out of nowhere. In the end, one of the alien-cows is really some sort of freaky angel thing and dies.
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
You have two cows, but they're completely mangled from what they were supposed to be like in the game. One cow's personality is completely backwards and the other one's heart-wrenching backstory has been completely tossed aside. You shrug and enjoy the story anyway.
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
You have some cows, living in a farm with ironic sad/happy (but more sad than happy) music background. Some stuff happens in the middle of the story, but in the end, blonde cow dies because (yeah, you know) the knife cow killed her in the first episode, so the cow doesn't have all his powers, and dies. Seemingly, one night before, the cow spend the cow-night with the knife cow, whose typically stereotyped situation in which knife cow wakes up alone which makes everybody cry because everyone knows that blonde cow has gone to die because of knife cow's fault (see cow episode 1). At the end, every thing ends with a "muuu, forget me, muuuu" from the blonde cow in a astral projection way to the knife cow, in which everybody cries because of that, and so every other cow existent in the world of vampirecow city dies for depression by seeing the ending. No one know what kinfe cow did from there on.
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
You have two cows. They don't exist.
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
Two cows? Two cows are an eyesore! Two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows, two cows. Disappear.
Shingetsutan Tsukihime 
You have two cows. One of them doesn't have a character route until the remake 8 years later. Isn't it sad, Sacchin?
Shinryaku! Ika Musume
You have two cows, de geso!
Shuffle
You have three cows. One demon-cow, one elf-cow and a clueless male cow.
Shugo Chara
You have three cows. One's an athlete, one's an artist, and one's an Irish maid. They can take over your body so you can defeat everybody else's cows who have turned evil. But then your fourth cow turns evil and swaps sides with another cow belonging to Japan's greatest pop idol who just so happens to be the source of everyone's evil cows. No one suspects a thing.
Shugo Chara
You have three eggs, which hatch into three cows. You join a group of students who have cows similar to yours, and together you fight evil cows.
Shugo Chara
Your three would-be cows gives you automatic entry into a student council, which consists of a shy blonde guy who wants to rule the world, a girl who is actually a guy, a whiny girl who needs to grow up, and the typical male sporty stereotype (who then is replaced by a samurai who is an evil spy, who is then replaced by the he-she (who is back in his guy form) mentioned before). Together with their cows they have to stop an evil organisation from finding the magical sparkly cow that grants any wish. Interesting group of kids huh?
Simoun
You have two calves, which may become cows or bulls when they grow up, but the bulls would still look very cowlike.
Sola
You have two cows. One is actually a paper cow.
So-Ra-No-Moo-To
You have five cows stationed in a fortress. One is a trumpeter who, at first, could only manage a "moo" from her trumpet.
Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru
You have two cows, poko.
Soul Eater
You have two cows. One can turn into a big pointy weapon which is wielded by the other cow. Also there is an evil snake loli.
Soul Eater
Two cow~s, two cow~s, from the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to California~
Soul Eater
You have one depressing pink cow. The fans won't shut up about whether it's male or female, despite it never having been confirmed.
Soul Eater
You have two symmetrical cows.
Soul Eater
But I don't know how do deal with two cows!
Soul Eater
Mine is the cow that shall surpass God!
Soul Eater
You have eight cows, because "8" has far more symmetry than "2".
Soul Eater
You have two cows. You're sad because the younger one is too short and the older one has a smaller utter than the younger one.
Sonic X
You have two cows. One of them is super-fast. The other one is a mutant and has two tails and can use them to fly. Rather than focus on the titular cow, though, the story focuses on some random spoiled kid no one likes.
Sonichu
You have no cows. You go to the ball with a sign asking for one and arrested. You write about this in your webcomic, and later a 13 year old boy pretends to be a cow to obtain nude photos of you.
Space Battleship Yamato
You have two World War II-era cows. You put them in space.
Sparrow's Hotel
A cow with huge udders works hard at a love hotel.
Special A
You have two cows. One of the cows is bigger and fatter than the other. The smaller cow is angry because the bigger and fatter cow will be killed first. So it tries to eat more to get bigger. Sadly, it doesn't know how to cook.
Special A (2)
You have two cows, I have three, Number Two.
Speed Racer
You have two cows and speak really quickly and drive cars around ah huuu haaaa!!!
Spirited Away
You have two cows. They are both turned into two pigs for eating the spirit food.
Steel Angel Kurumi
You have two cows and several bulls. One cow is a robot with an obnoxious sense of subservience to the bull that awakened it. The other cow is some sort of evil scientist trying to help cover up a government conspiracy of some kind. One bull is also in on the conspiracy and the bull that actually created the robot cow gets no respect because the robot cow only respects the bull that woke it up. The robot cow protects the bull that woke it up like there's nothing else for it to do, and it generally throws all the other bulls and cows into yesteryear any time they say even the slightest thing to get it upset.
Strawberry Panic
You have a lot of lesbians cows in a farm, and a lot of milk. You would worry about where your replacement calves are going to come from, but you're too busy watching all the cows.
Strike Witches
You have eleven cows. None of them wear pants.
Strike Witches (2)
You have eleven cows. The new cow succumbs to the fact that there are ten other cows running around without pants on and no bulls to be seen, and turns gay.
Strike Witches (3)
You have eleven magic cows. They wear no pants, and grow animal ears and tails when they put airplanes on their legs. They fight aliens. It is awesome.
Strike Witches 2 (4)
You may or may not have more than eleven cows. One of the best cows may or may not die. They still don't wear pants.
Strike Witches 2 (5)
REP---MOOOOOOOOO---ZAN!
Spice and Wolf
You have two cows. One is very expensive. The other can be bargained at the right deals, just as long as you are not dealing with Big Bill Hell.
Sumomomo Momo Mo
You have two cows. One wants to sleep with you. The other wants to kill you (and/or sleep with you). See also: Every other anime in existence.
Suki na Mono Wa Suki dakara Shouganai
You have a farm of bulls. Two have split-personalities. One looks like a cow.
Super Milk Chan
You have a shitload of cows that don't make sense. The audience holds a mass suicide.

T

Tales of the Abyss
You have two cows. One is the real one who's always angry, and the other one is a stupid useless inferior dreckish douchebag of a REPLICAAAAA!!!
Teen Titans 
You have two bulls. Cow fans blast them for not being real cows.
Tenchi Muyo! 
You have 5-6 cows, all with their own personalities. Two are royalty, one is an space pirate, one or two are space police, one is a mad scientist. They all want to jump your bones, but you're purehearted and dumb, so you never take the opportunity. However, if you live in Japan, you do get to see the cows' udders, you perv.
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann
COWEN-LAGANN, MILK ON! MOO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (2)
Don't milk yourself! Milk me who milks you!
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (3)
You have a bull. You could call it Leeron, Ron or beautiful cow.
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (4)
You have an Anti-Cow and a Heaven Shattering Crimson Cow. They are galaxy-sized and fighting each other...
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (5)
PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR COWS!
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (6)
Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb! That's way your two cows do things!
Tennis no Oujisama
You have a cow and a bull. The cow has an unrequited crush on the bull, who is undeniably gay with all the other bulls on the farm and also with bulls from rival farms. The bull is also a young bell-ringing prodigy.
Tokyo Moo Moo
You have two bishounen cows. They turn you into a catgirl and make you work at their cafe.
Toradora!
You have a bull who looks like a crook but can't hurt a fly. And there's a cow that's as mad as a raging bull. Then you have a nerdy bull with muscles which makes the cows swoon, an hyperactive cow who likes baseball, and another cow that's as spoiled as hell underneath that kawaii facade.
Totoro
You have two cows that run around at hyperspeed aimlessly for several hours before running into a few nuts dropping from the sky and a large cow named Totoro.
Touka Gettan
.swoc owt evah uoY
Translated Animé 
You have two cows with very dark spots because of an experiment back in the 1950's by irresponsible scientists who were testing radioactive waste and unleashed the giant monster that killed us all and --- (Passes out)
Translated Animé (2) 
You have three sheep.
Trinity Blood
You have two cows. One is a vampire and has unnaturally long eyelashes. The other one is the Pope.
Texhnolyze 
You have two cows. One cow loses its arm, and gets a new robotic one. The other one loves to wear fox masks and can see the future.
Transformers
You have two cows. Now you have two giant robots.
Transformers (differentized)
Well, my two cows can turn into fucking sports cars!
Trigun Minimum 
You have two cows. One believes in love and peace, while the other believes in annihilating the human race. The first cow travels all over a desert planet, with trouble following him wherever he goes. Even though the first cow is a coward, he can shoot with great accuracy, because your two cows are actually plants. Also, your cows' guns can transform their front legs into ultimate killing lazer beams.
Tsubasa Chronicles
You have four cows. One's an archaeologist, one's a useless girl, one's a samurai/ninja cow, and one's a magical cow. They rely on a manjuu bun to cross dimensions and kill off an evil cleft monocle cow.
Twelve Kingdoms
You have three cows that get dragged into another world by a bull and a monkey. One cow turns evil, one cow goes insane and dies, and the third cow becomes queen of the world. You now need therapy.

U

Umooneko 
You have 2 cows. They claim to have magical powers and kill your family. You attempt to prove they don't exist.
Umooneko 
Beatrice told you you have two cows. That never happened.
Umooneko 
You have 2 cows. It's useless, it's all useless.
Umooneko 
You have 2 cows. IT'S PAHFECTO.
Umooneko 
Please don't make the cow go alone to an empty room. Even if nothing is created, please just look at me. The cows will die. Many more will die. Bernkastel told me that she would give me my family back if I killed your cow.
Utawarerumono 
You have 2 cows, they fight, join together and fight some other cows, then some robots appear and one of the cows turns out to be a god
Uzumaki 
The spiral has two cows. One implodes in upon itself. The other just stands there and looks really, really fucking creepy.

V

The Vision of Escaflowne
You have two cows. You and a friend both start milking them simultaneously, but after you've filled two-thirds of your bucket a bizarre shift in your relative time fields means that by the time you have finished he has never started and the milk he had collected no longer exists. You are too distracted by how weird your cow's noses look to notice.
Violinist of Hamlen 
You have a picture of two cows. You play a slide show of yourself milking them.
Valvrave the Liberator
One cow (and a bunch of bulls) become milk vampires, bite each other, swap bodies, and recharge in a weird way while operating some familiar-looking machines.
Vampire Knight
You have one cow, protected by two bulls--both of them are milk-sucking vampires--from an even hungrier bull who wants her milk.
Vandread
You have two planets. One of them is entirely populated with lesbian cows, the other with gay bulls. The gay bulls think the cows are gut eating monsters, but the cows just think the bulls are stupid. While both are at war, two of their ships collide and fall into a black hole, being teleported into a mass of giant evil robotic horses millions of light years away from anywhere. They fight the horses in giant robots that must have computer sex to morph together. Eventually they realize they have feelings for each other and so the dashing long black haired medic bull gets to have sex with all the loli cows, while the other loli bull gets bondaged by all the non-loli cows (except one of them, which is kawaii.)

W

Wangan Midnight 
You have two cows. They make lots of milk, but many people who somehow had the same name as you have died trying to tame them.
Weiß Kreuz 
You have two completely white cows, both named after cats. An unknown cat from the woods regularly gives them orders to kill wolves. They do this without questions, while reflecting how they would be murderers if they did it on their own account. Later the cat dies and they find out that the black sheep are behind everything the wolves did. They confront the black sheep and die, only to come back later and kill more wolves.
Weiß Kreuz (2)
You have four cows. Florists by day, assassins by night. ('Nuff said.)
Welcome to the MHK! 
You have two cows... no wait, it was two cows and two bulls. This little cow was abused as a kid, this little cow is paranoid, this little bull is a rebellious otakun and this little bull cried "CONSPIRACY !!!" all the way home.....
Witch Hunter Robin 
You have two cows. After awhile you begin to feel for the poor things.
Wolf's Rain 
You have two cows, who are the last of their kind because the human race has hunted them to extinction. Magically, they've learned to disguise themselves as humans, and wander the earth, searching for Paradise. Then a wolf kills them off and they die- giving the wolves magical powers. The world ends.
Wolf's Rain 
You have lots of wolves masquerading as cows.

X

X/1999 
You have two cows. After a bunch of confusing dream sequences, they both die. You're not sure exactly what happened, but think that you should probably feel sad.
xxxHOOOWLiC 
There is this cow who charged the bull for four gallons of milk he didn't WISH for, but had to buy it to get the slaughterhouse off his back.

Y

Yakitate!! Japan 
You have two cows. You find sixty ways to cook them that have never been done before, attempting to create a distinctly Japanese beef dish.
Moo-Gi-Oh!
Two cows duel each other. In the middle of the duel a third cow delivers a long friendship speech. The second cow makes some snarky comment giving the first cow the opportunity to rearrange his deck and win by 'the Heart of the Cards.' An American company edits out the knife fights and udder jokes.
Moo-Gi-Oh! (2)
It's time to m-m-m-m-m-m-moooooo!!!
Moo-Gi-Oh! GX
You have several pairs of cows, but you never get to see any of them hook up because they're all in love with dueling.
Moo-Gi-Oh! 5Ds
Two cows on motorcycles!?
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
You claim two cows in the name of America!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (2)
Attention Duelists! My hair has two cows!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (3)
Screw the Cows, I have money!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (3.5)
Screw the Rules, I have two Cows!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (3.5 v.2.0)
Screw the two Cows, I have green hair!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (4)
You have a cow. It has pink hair.
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (5)
You have two gay clowns.
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (0)
Burn the cow!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-1)
You have two cows! This is Super Special Awesome!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-2)
Brains Brains Brains (I have two cows).
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-3)
Can I have two cows? Shut up, Mokuba!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-4)
My two cows give me super strength!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-5)
You have two *eff*ing cows, Binky-boy!
Moo-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (-6)
no, no, no. My power comes from my leather cows. (This cannot be! there arn't even any lady gaga songs that rhyme with cow!)
You're Under Arrest
You have two cows! One cow is a sexy police dyke and the other is sexy shy chick. They drive around stopping bulls with a car smaller than their boobs, there is some bisexual motorcyclist, a transvestite (who most boys thought "He" was the hottest character in series), and some nerdy annoying girl. Also, the show is actually related to Ah! Moo Goddess
Yotsuba
You have one spastic green cow who lives with her dad. She goes on a crazy rampage, and then lets cicadas loose in your house.
Yosuga no Sora
You have a twin bull and cow, and the cow has to contend with five other cows trying to take her bull brother away--but the bull only wants to get laid with all of them.
Moo Moo Hakusho 
You have two cows. One of them dies, but later comes back to life, and it and the second cow team up with two more cows to fight evil demonic cows. You spend at least 15 minutes a week out of an 18-or-so minute time period about these cows and what they do.
Yu Yu Hakusho (2)
You have four cows. One is a resurrected bull who shoots blasts of spirit energy from his udders. The second cow is an emo. He has three eyes and for untold reasons summons huge dragons that burn his arms every time he uses them. Cow three is half cow, half fox-thing, but for some reason attacks demon cows with flowers. Cow four has a pompadour and has no real exciting purpose than to be fucking annoying.
Yu Yu Hakusho (3)
You have two magically empowered bulls, with not a point of IQ between them. No one cares about them, because you also have two magically empowered pretty boy demons whose job it is to stand around, look cool, and inspire vast amounts of smutty fanfiction on the web about their secret gay relationship
Yu Yu Hakusho
you have one cow who becomes the victim of a brutal roadkill incident, and works to get his life back, probably so he can fuck his girlfriend Keiko. Also, the grim reaper is a hot chick and God apparently is a baby.
Yu Yu Hakusho
You have four cows: one has a hot finger, another plays with roses, another plays with a spirit sword and a hot head, and another has a third eye and is a recluse.

Z

Zatch Bell 
You have two cows. Whenever you read a spell from a book they moo, milk, or graze.
Zegapain 
You have two cows in real life and two cows in Farmville. It turns out your Farmville cows are real and both you and your two "real" cows are virtual. You don't know what to believe anymore.
Zero No Tsukaima 
You have two cows, one has an abnormally large udder, the other's nipples hardly fit on its tiny udder - which one to milk???
Zero No Tsukaima: Princess No Rondo 
You have two cows, it doesn't really get more complicated than that, it pretty much just involves cows now.
Zoids Chaotic Century 
You have an evil bull who wants all the milk for himself and uses his giant automatic cow milker which drains away all the milk.Then you have some 12 yr old calf whose on prozac and thinks hes savin the world.Naturally he gets his ass kicked by the evil bull.thats bout it ...oh wait in the end the automatic cow milk machine runs out of gas and the badass bull gives up and goes home.Wait he also take the kid with him.Gawd noes wat hes going to do to the kid.

Multi

xxxHOLiC & Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRoNiCLE

You have eight cows, four in the cottage while the others out.

For the inside ones,One has sadism while the second cow is a jinx. The other two are gay for each other. They hold a unscrupulous shop, extracting lifelong savings from every customer, and hoping each time that the next transmit through the mouth of the annoying black cat-rabbit will be something valuable.
For the outside ones,one has amnesia because the second cow is an idiot. The other two are also gay for each other. They travel from parallel universe to parallel universe, putting right that which once went wrong, and hoping each time that the next leap through the mouth of the annoying white cat-rabbit will be the leap home.
xxxHOLiC & Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRoNiCLE (2)

You have eight cows, four in the cottage while the others out.

For the inside ones,three are hot. One's a black-hearted witch that's extorting all the time. The glasses cow is cold and gay for the poker cow. The double-braid cow turns out to be an JONAH and made the cold glasses cow's eye eaten. Flashbacks, angst and hijinks ensue.
For the outside ones,three are hot. One's a stupid bitch that's asleep all the time. The blond cow is hot and gay for the hot tan cow. The brown cow turns out to be an OMG CLONE and eats the hot blond cow's eye. Flashbacks, angst and hijinks ensue,too.
xxxHOLiC & Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRoNiCLE (3)

You have a cow and a bull in one world and another bull in another.

Only, the first bull suddenly has a clone of itself, no, wait, it WAS the clone, and that new bull is the original who had been held prisoner by the Big Bad Bull for years. And then the clone bull goes crazy and starts eating eyes, after which he leaves and you think everything might calm down a bit. But then your cow makes the extremely stupid decision to trade in her amazing gambling luck (without even going to a casino first!) to be able to choose a world to travel to, which ends with her body and soul being split apart, and then there's a lot of angsting on the part of the entire herd, and then you find out that your cow was a clone all along too, and apparently the original bull should not be allowed to mess with timelines when the cow is involved, and THEN the clones show up again (despite the fact that the cow clone died earlier), and the bull's parents who look exactly like the bull and the cow even down to their cowbells join in, and apparently they're not only the bull's parents but also the future versions of the clones, and an alternate pasture version of the cow makes a cameo in clone/mommy cow's dreams and gives her a sparkly stick so that her son/husband's original can meet her original and get this entire mess started, and then after the main story finally gets back on track the Big Bad Cow traps the all three of the bulls in a barn. But then the clone bull sacrifices his life so that the other two can escape. And by the way, speaking of that third bull, the one that wasn't involved in the cloning stuff? Despite not looking like the other two bulls, he's actually been another clone of them all along. Despite not having the slightest idea what the heck is happening even though the series is supposed to end next chapter, you find yourself still reading, failing to figure it out, and contemplating shooting yourself or the bovines or both.
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

Twocows

1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

“Enough is enough! I have HAD it with those motherfucking cows on this motherfucking field!”
~ Samuel L. Jackson on You have two cows
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