You got pwned

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

edit Welcome

This is a page dedicated to pwnage, and those of you who wish to become masters of pwnage. Noob... I pwn u all the time

edit Definition of pwn

Oxford dictionary defines pwn as the complete destruction of a person or thing. (Also see ownage)

edit How to pwn someone/something else

This step requires a lot more practice. To successfully pwn someone you must have:

  • A pwning target
  • An idea of how you will pwn them
  • A camera/ video camera
  • No feelings or emotions of guilt etc.

The easiest type of person to pwn is a noob (also see noobdaisum). Most animals are quite easy to pwn except for lions, tigers, and bears ("oh my!") as they tend to pwn you back. To pwn a noob requires almost no skill. Follow these steps to get a noob run over by a train:

  • Introduce yourself, be friendly, but don't get to know your target very well otherwise you will not want to pwn them.
  • Ask them "have you ever been pwned before?" and since the answer will always be "no" ask them "do you want to be?"
  • try to pass 'getting pwned' off as something pleasant. Eg taking a trip in a car.
  • after they agree pwn the f@c! out of them and make sure you get it in film.

To pwn an animal is a lot easier. Just pick what you want to do and just do it. No dialogue required. Tho it isn't as fun as pwning noobs. Here is an example of how to pwn a cat:

Pwned-cat headshot

edit Multi-pwnage

This is definitely the most difficult this to do, but the most fun. For this you will need multiple targets and a weapon of mass destruction like this mouse trap...


Here what i have done is laid down the mouse trap with cheese on top. I have also set up 5 trails of cheese spread leading up to the trap. Each is the same length. The purpose of this is to get 5 mice all looking at the trap and each other at the same time. This way they wont recognise it as a trap and all go for the cheese! Muhahahaha im an evil pwning mastermind!

Mouse Trap

edit How to get pwned

There are many different ways to get pwned. For instance you could jump off a tall building, pick a fight with a lawnmower or run in front of a car. This may sound easy but to get pwned properly requires a lot of skill and practice. For proper pwnage you will need:

  • a friend to watch/ video you
  • Something to get pwned by
  • a high tolerance for pain (not required but is recommended if you plan to get pwned more than once).

This is an example of how to get pwned... the right way:

Pwned by whale

Obviously this person has had a lot of practice at getting pwned. He has fulfilled the requirements for a proper pwning. He has:

  • A friend with a camera/ video camera
  • A high tolerance of pain
  • A lot of practice
  • And a hungry whale

edit Indirect pwnage

This is debatably the easiest way of pwning many tagts without much work. To do this you will need some way of creating a web page that a lot of people will see. Design your page and make sure you have a section that encourages people to pwn themselves. Now tell some of your stupid friends to go on to that page... Sit back and wait.

If you havnt realised already...

You just got pwned


LOL! I'm second in charge here; So here is an easy way to pwn yourself without having to worry about anybody else but the toaster in the kitchen.

So basically, this is the complete guide to pwn, pwning, and pwnage!

Personal tools