You Tube FC
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[edit] Manchester City
Manchester City Football Club is an English professional football club based in the city of Manchester. They are currently members of the English Premier League. Originally formed in 1880 as St. Mark's (West Gorton), they then became Ardwick A.F.C. in 1887 before changing their name to Manchester City F.C. in 1894. The club has won the League Championship twice, the FA Cup four times, the League Cup twice and the European Cup Winners Cup once. The club's most successful period was during the late 1960s and early 1970s, when they won several major trophies under the management team of Joe Mercer and his assistant Malcolm Allison, and with great players such as Colin Bellend and Francis Lee.
•We all hate stretford munich united
•managed by that red thick inbred cunt Mark Hughes
[edit] Quotes about the club
Liam Gallgher: "EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA sound"
Man United fan: "Is that the club up north? Manchester you say..... where's that?"
Alhim Falhid Sanjid Mandeep Punjab John Voldemort Muhammadson: "Why didn't I buy an attractive club? Like Portsmouth."
[edit] Rivals
Madchester's main rivals are Old Ham Athletic, Stocky Porn Cunty, trafford scum fucks, Bury and anyone that bought a copy of Country House.
[edit] The Team
It should also be noted that most of the squad was assembled from Seven Gorane Erik-The Sun on youtube last week.
[edit] Goalie
19 Kasper Schmeichel - The scion of a terrible enemy of the good people of Oasis, the leaders of whom kidnapped this blue eyed, pubeless, ruddy cheeked spawn long ago in an attempt to turn the One True Enemy's own dark arts against it. Quite similar to his dread father, except a) he's not as big and b) not as good.
[edit] Reasons why we haven't got completely stuffed yet
2 Micah Richards - A bright and exciting young talent (tm). He recently made his debut in the porn industry with his girlfriend in his self-directed movie.
3 Michael Balls - This sublime defender has been diagnosed with "Tiny Balls Syndrome" which has been genetically inherited in his family. He is known to express his sexual frustration by stomping on opposing players between their legs. Not very good at telling the difference between a ball and a balloon
22 Richard Dunne - The captain. A reserved Irish lad who has shown a touching interest in picking up the local traditions, as his recent suspension for crippling a Villa player demonstrates. Also has a tendency to become confused while facing his own goal, leading to an average own-goal strike rate of 20 a season.
16 Vedran Corluka - Handy Yugoslavian who jumps at the phrase "UN Tribunal". Has formed the We're Innocent Because We've Got Lots Of Money Coalition with the club's owner.
24 Javier "Java Script" Garrido - Expert Spanish computer programmer. Rewrites each home match using the USB port located in the East Stand so it appears to spectators that Oasis have trundled out another uneventful 1-0 victory when in fact they've been pasted 12-0.
[edit] Midfield
7 Stephen England (formally Ireland) - legend since he changed name and nationality. Is now known to fiddle with himself whilst looking at pictures of the Queen. He also now loves warm bitter, pies, the colour pink and being a persona non grata in his ex-country Ireland.
6 Michael Johnson - Young, heavily eyebrowed local lad. Granny chaser.
15 Martin Petrov -legend
7 Kaka - Never Mind.
[edit] So-Called "Attackers" (meant to score goals)
9 Emile Mpenza - That's not a German name??!?! Cornrows????!11!! GOAL!!!11!11!?! We will ignore the fact that he is actually.... Belgique ?!?!?!?! I know i cannot believe it either...
11 Elano - Another Brazilian with only one name. Recent research undertaken by Madchester MET suggests that people with only one name are 50,000 times better at their chosen vocation than normal, two named people. You can see the opposition falter even when he's warming the bench 9 games out of 10.
10 Robinho - best player in the world......NOT!
12 Darius Vassell - WHY.
77 Rolando Bianchi - A TIE Fighter. Quite good, it says here.
27 Benjani - Latest Signing. Could have joined earlier if he didn't fall asleep.
99 Ronaldo - The youngest ever Brazilian under-80's captain
[edit] Subs
31 Noel Gallagher - Mid-tempo-fielder. Wheeled out typically during a mid-December 0-0 with Newcastle to attempt to stir the City fans into life. Has got into a fight with both of them. The inventor of the infamous sniff-the-white-lines celebration, made famous by a cunt from Liverpool.
32 Liam Gallagher - Attacker. Record for staying on the pitch before being shown the red: 34 seconds. He reached 31 during the recent exchange with West Ham which left only 15 people dead, so signs are encouraging. Has special dispensation from the FA to take to the field in an overcoat and sunglasses.
33 Frank Gallagher - Got a spare tenner on ya since I'm off to the Jockey.
17 Sun Jihai - Obligatory Asian guy.
12 Nicky Weaver - Poor facial hair.
1 Andreas Isaksson - Obligatory Swedish guy.
20 Georgios Samaras - Feed the greek and he'll score every 17th game.
5 Ousmane Dabo - Useless. Bald. French.
69 - Sven. quality
75 - Dot Cotten
99 Saddam Hussein - Currently injured with a "broken neck". and radio active poisoning.
[edit] Massive club?
It has become a long-standing tradition for new signings to play along with the charade that Madchester Oasis is a "massive club". This is, of course, nonsense. It is thought that most of Oasis's foreign signings are unaware that there are two teams in Madchester and wrongly believe they are signing for a different team altogether.
In March 5, 2007, the club's trophy room was broken into by an unknown intruder and the entire content in this room was stolen. This case still remains a mystery, and the police has since been searching for a man with a pale blue carpet.
[edit] Honours
richer than god not in debt only team ever to score and concede a 100 goals in a season can't say its not exciting
[edit] Richness
Too Much for my Liking. If i had that kind of money, i know what i would do, i'd build a giant robotic space lion. Who Wouldnt? With this money they tried to sign quaka for £3 Trillion, but they failed because he realised that although they offered money...they are incredibly shit. But hey, who gives a fuck, I'm RICH! They also signed Robbin-ho's for £30 Million but they realised that he is also extremely shit.
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