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why hello there
“You're trapped, Mr. Bond, you're trapped! You cannot escape! You cannot escape!”
There you are, walking. It's an average day. Life's been pretty good. Got a nice home, good looking wife, well raised children, and a great job. You start to think about the meaning of life or some other mumbo jumbo like that.
You slam face first into a wall.
No problem. I can just turn around.
It's not like you're trapped or anything. Just slowly turn around, and walk back home, back to your perfect life.
Ha ha! Another wall. You should have seen the look on your face! You just turned around and then it hit you. You are trapped after all. Nope, no way out. Just think about it. Why else would this happen?
You did this!
How could I do this? I'm just a figment of your imagination, or a ghost, or something else you can't see. In fact, your whole life is a lie. Do you really think a real person could have a life this good? No, because life sucks. Now, stop listening to me shatter your reality and try to find a way out. What? You say there are none? Well, you're blind. I'll get us out of here. You ask why I want out? Well, if you're trapped, so am I. I could spend hours laughing at this foolish predicament you've gotten us into, but I'm not fond of staring at a brick wall for hours. Though I can tell you're used to it.
What? Someone's lowering a brick ceiling?! Crap! It's dark. Do you know what this means? We are likely to be eaten by a grue. This is like one of those horror movies you watch the first five minutes of and then hide under the covers yelling "Turn it off!" because you are such a wuss. It should be getting around time for the plot twist...
What are you talking about?
The cat is out of the bag. You're not trapped. I am. You're just a figment of my imagination. I made you up to make my life look better. Happy? Too bad. That's the best you get. I'm not some award winning writer. This is like the Twilight Zone or something. How do episodes of it usually end?
Dude! Shut up! That's spoilers! Yes, I know I just spoiled your entire life for you, but this is my life you're spoiling, and I'm important! Don't make fun of me! It's not my fault I have a dead end job at McDonalds! Shut up! Just leave me alone!
This isn't right.
Yeah, the reader's supposed to be on the bad end of this, not the article. What the hell is wrong with the writer? Get him!
Psssssh *static* I'm sorry for this, but we've ran into some technical difficulties. The writer's writing came alive and killed him. Maybe if you're lucky he won't come back from the dead and write more crappy articles.