York University

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York University (French: Université York) is a fashion district located in the northern suburbs of Toronto. Once every Asian Solar Eclipse, the place turns into a temporary yet wonderful, interdisciplinary, multicultural, excellent post-secondary institution, attended by diverse, and intelligent students with progressive and forward thinking, such as that trashy girl with the fake Louis Vuitton bag talking on her cellphone. York University is not to be confused with the University of York in Yorkshire, England. Although they are both fine establishments, the University of York, UK is slightly superior due to its closer proximity to the Queen.

edit History

York University was first established sometime in the 1960's as a hub for socialists and communist potheads fleeing their persecution and lack of popularity in the United States. It soon came to be the hub of liberalism, the far leftwing paradise of the world. With drug sales propelling students income, hideous and "modern" looking buildings erected, and "hot" chicks with fake tans populating the campus, a guy who was smoking his reefer suddenly suggested: "Dude, we should totally turn this place into a university!". And thus it came into existence, York University was established as a multi-something interdisciplinary institution with the only mall in the southernmost region of Ontario or something wonderful like that.

Now, York University is considered a top-notch "ivy" league, and the 2nd top university in Toronto, behind only the oh so elite UofT. It has become a popular insitution, with leftwing, sexually unsure individuals and student body advocating liberalism and freedom by stripping you from your common sense and coercing your conformity to the left-wing mandate of the university. Should you disobey, you will get an F on your essay you right-wing racist homophobe.

The TA's, who are direct descendent's from pot smoking founders of the university, felt that it was unfair that they had to pay for an education. So every 5-10 years they like to go on strike for hopefully 10-12 weeks. York student rejoice whenever a strike magically descends upon the land, because it gives them a good excuse to party for 3 months without having to do any homework (not that they get that much anyway).

edit Academics

York University has an excellent choice and wide array of programs

  1. Bitching and Whining: Also known as Women's Studies, B&W is a program offered for lesbians and (sexually) insecure women who can't get laid and so they attempt to make those who do get laid feel guilty about it. In this program, students get to write essays about the phallo-centric, mysoginistic, reactionary nature of men and how they should all be destroyed!!!! GIRL POWER!!!!!!!!"
  2. Politcal Science: An excellent program with a wide range of focuses, heralded as the hallmark of York University's "Progressive Thinking", with a far scope focusing either only on Marxist ideologies or the poor, awful, deteriorating conditions and injustices in third world countries.
  3. Fine Arts: Popular amongst people of a certain sexual orientation and the girls who love them, the Fine Arts program is designed for student who conform to their own false belief that they are, somehow, creative, while, in fact, they're not.

edit Student body

York is celebrated as one of the most diverse institutions in Canada. Indeed, there is a wide range of ethnicities and cultural backgrounds present on York's campus. They include.

edit "Emo" Kids

Emo kids at York are one of the most prominent groups on campus. They hold certain characteristics that make them unique; they:

  1. wear awful colours.
  2. have LiveJournals
  3. are collectively majoring in English.
  4. claim to be bisexual.
  5. live in residence until their sixth year of university.

edit the "Gangstas"

Being more ethnically diverse than Toronto itself, "Gangstas" at York:

  1. speak poor English
  2. do not attent York but like to hang out there. And cause trouble.
  3. are blamed for the increasing theft on campus.
  4. increase theft on campus
  5. hang out in the cafeteria and chat LOUDLY there.
  6. come to Pub Nights which are only designed for York Student but they show up anyway and pick fights with the bouncers.

edit The party-crazed people

These supposedly "sexy" men and women are gaining prominence on campus as of late. They:

  1. have poor spelling
  2. are collectively majoring in Kinesiology.
  3. are addicted to sex.
  4. apply fake tans if they are women, or are men with a muscular physique built by consuming an overindulgent amount of steroids and protein powder.
  5. have poor quality video cam pictures of themselves on facebook.
  6. attend university for the sake of getting laid and doing as little work as possible (see point 2 of this section).

edit Trivia

In February 2008, Webster's Dictionary agreed to add a new word based on the common-parlance term that has recently emerged from York. Getting "Yorked" is like getting fucked, but costs thousands of dollars in tuition, and while it is possible to have an orgasm while getting Yorked, it is extremely degrading.

edit York's Notable Achievements

  • tumbleweed*

edit Glendon @ York (Le Québec de York)

Glendon à York est un établissement établi seulement pour les French , quoique la majorité de ses étudiants ne parlent pas un traitre mot du français. Putains d'anglophones!

En outre, imitant le Québec, Glendon veut faire sécession de la université du York. VIVE LE GLENDON LIBRE!

edit Reference

1) Facebook.com

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