Yolande Trueman

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“I is a Jomaaykaan sista”

~ Yolande on Herself

“You is so haat”

~ Patrick Trueman on Yolande

Yolande (Yalaaandee) Trueman waz born in Jamaaykah in de naanteen fiddeez. Da sista alweez lav'd de gaanja from de early deez. She gru ap wid fellow sista Opraah Winfree smokin da weed and selling cratez av lilt.

[edit] Early life

[edit] STD

Wen she waz jast a leetle sista Yalaandee waz caught haaveeng de sex wid de lejand heemself, Baab Marlee. Al waz fine unteel a few weeks laytaa wen she got an eetchy laydee gaarden. So mamma took her to de daactors and she waz told she haad de Herpes. Mamma and pappa geev her a good beeten wid de beegest coconaat they cood find.

[edit] Personal Life

Da bitch went and met Patrick, fraam Eeestendaz a yaang Jamaaykan guy, they had haat sex and gaat hitched. Dat waz the end av that.

[edit] Trivia

Yalaandees feevorit

• Feevorit sang is Baab Marlee's no waaman no cry
• Feevorit drink is lilt
• Haz nevaa shaved de gaarden for twentee yeerz
• Iz a homaafobic beetch
• Iz black
• Iz enem-EE-s wid Paaaat Eevvvvvaaaans

[edit] See also

• Black
• Jamaica
• Bob Marley
• British
• Eastenders
• Nigger