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A portrait of Yoda, this is.

For those without comedic tastes, an article about Yoda, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have. Read it you must.
“Size matters not.”
~ Yoda to his girlfriend.
“When nine hundred years old you reach, look like shit you will.”
~ Yoda on getting old.

A deeply wise Jedi master, Yoda is. Often as the "green wrinkly character" from the Star Wars franchise, referred to, he is. Speak in non-sequiturs to confuse his students, Yoda would, for some reason which explained, is not. Manner of such speaking being used in this article, it is. Irritating, is not it? Flawed, Yoda was, however. Depleted of strength and tired Yoda was, the Clone Wars during. Hide like a scared little child he did, while the the galaxy the Empire conquered. Later, assume the mentoring of Darth Vader's son Luke he would.

Biography of Yoda, here is


Yoda, this is not.

Life, early it was...

In the nonexistent year of 896 BBY, born on Yoda's planet, he was. A member of Yoda's species, was he. Yoda's mother and Yoda's father, his parents were. Dictums of wisdom his first words being, "Mama" or "Daddy," as supposed to. If failing grades, Yoda got, and A for effort he would not receive. "Do or do not. There is no try," Yoda's parents would say. Encouraging this phrase is not, borderline douchey, it is even. A Jedi master, Yoda became eventually. By now, tired of talking this way, Yoda was. Stop, Yoda could not, unfortunately.

Die, Yoda does

Sad, the death of Yoda was, indeed yes. Peacefully, Yoda wished to die. Quietly, Yoda wished to die. Unfulfilled were these wishes. While dying Yoda was, stupid questions about his father, Luke did ask. Escape Luke's annoying rambling, Yoda finally did. Earned it he had.

A Jedi Master, Yoda is


Very much one's grandmother like, Yoda is.

The Force, Yoda uses

A professor in physics, Yoda must be. The Force, he can master. Realize that Force = mass × acceleration, Yoda does. Also moving giant boulders, a talent of Yoda's is.

A saber, Yoda has

Green, Yoda's lightsaber is. Up to interpretation, is the reason. Perhaps, due to the fact that the opposite of red, green is and red, Darth Vader's saber is. Metaphor, Yoda's saber is, of conflict and contrast between Vader and the Jedi. Perhaps looking too deeply into it, I am. Perhaps, saber green because Yoda is.

Popular culture, Yoda is in


Much like Yoda, this pizza looks.

Much known, Yoda is. Common is his appearance on backpacks, speedos, and the like. Look like Yoda, many costumes do. Parody of Lola, Yoda featuring, Weird Al made. On and on, this list will go. Repetitive, becoming it is, however.

Way of the Jedi now tell

To reader you there, secrets some Jedi wise. All first, grab image mental, pull, then push, make spin, duplicate or/and points through it pull, between thoughts seek space nothing. Later gator force you be, force then birds fly, with fly them. Last true secret Jedi speak I of: Create your reality own you do, past decisions and habits see and break daily some, memories happy time present know, adventures flesh seek you. Run, spot, run.

Also See

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