You have two cows
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| "Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines"|
Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!
You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:
This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:
Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.
A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently,
45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.
A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.
“Do not try to understand what the two cows are saying. That's impossible. Instead, you must try to realize the truth: there are no cows. Then you will see that it is not the cows that moo, but only yourself.”