YBox

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The YBox

The YBox is a member of the new generation of games consoles produced by Heideggerz & co. Unlike many other mainstream games consoles, which present the user with several games which can be purchased and used with the console, the yBox has one inbuilt program, which asks the user several hundred different highly difficult questions concerning ontology. These questions remain unanswered, even if it appears that the game has finished. The scores of players are recorded via the internet. As said by one keen player K4nt43va, who has a score of 629 out of an undetermined amount of possible points "the interdeterminism of language systems which are developed during game play demonstrate both the noumenal and the phenomenal; it is sufficiently equipridmordial to say that the possibilities are unlimited".

[edit] Play

The first challenge for the Yboxer is to turn the console on. This is a difficult process, for there are 17 different buttons which may potentially turn buttons on, however this is made even more complex as the function of whichever button is picked is determined by the player's interpretations of the words ON, CONSOLE, and TURN. Some players notice that when one button is pressed, the machine will slowly start humming baroque music. A representative from Heideggerz stated that this was to calm down those players who are unfortunately not as patient as others.

Once the player is in the right mood to turn the console on, he will be presented with the first questions. The questions will fade into the background very quickly after being displayed, so the player must start thinking very hard. Some experienced YBox players have constructed a system whereby their hot water is heated by the thought energy in an action-based process. However, one needs the Will to Deceive in order to actualize the economy of this to another individual. When the console believes the player has sufficiently mastered the concepts involved in the questions, it proceeds to display another. Points are awarded for originality and patience, as well as understanding of modal logic.

There is an additional existentialist mode, accessible only to those with a certain temperament,which takes the questions out of the equation. The player simply stares at the blank screen and realise that, since he is not perceiving anything but blackness, his own emotions are truth.

[edit] Addiction

Many players have been known to play the game for several hours at a stretch, and this is especially common among younger players. One, who ranks third in the highscores of the game, and uses the username sch0psch0p, when questioned about this replied in the following manner; "It's very well for all of you to be talking about us wasting our lives on our YBoxes, but seriously, to me, the reality of the YBox is identical to the reality of the real world. I mean, come on, you're all addicted to real life, aren't you? Some of you spend like 20 hours a day playing! And seriously, my will is far stronger when applied in game. Far, Far stronger" Several less fanatical players recounted that sch0psch0p is known to be a grouchy old man in real life, who is currently serving community service for kicking an old woman.

[edit] Reception

Generally, to the disappointment of Heideggerz & co., the YBox has had a very poor reception among the general public. The reviewer for Games World magazine stated that the console is boring, mystifying and just plain stupidHeideggerz & co.have awarded the game a 5 star review from all major gaming communities, in reflection of the stars as being relfective analogies. Among hardcore existentialist and epiphenomenalist circles, the game has had better reviews, although Oxford University has complained that many philosophy post-graduates now spend most of their free time in their studies YBoxing.

[edit] Copyright infringements

Microsoft Corporation are currently suing Heideggerz & co. for multiple copyright infringements, as the YBox closely resembles the XBox and has a similar name. Heideggerz & co. deny the existence of Microsoft and the Xbox stating that For dasein to be aware of the XBox, the XBox must be in an action-relationship with dasein, but dasein doesn't play XBox, because its ontology is neglible. It seems unlikely such arguments will stand in court, however Heideggerz & co. have been hard to locate because their offices do not exist in noumenal reality.

[edit] Ybox Live

Ybox live, the mutli-player version, has gained little popularity. One user, N333tz4 has suggested that it's just because "we philosophers are wierdos who don't talk to each other and like arguing". Others think that the problems with the games mutliplayer (AOL connection, flying horses randomly appearing on the screen; battle mode involving shouting gibberish)are too great even for a load of philosophers to put up with.