Writer's block

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“Dammit, I can't think of anything to say on this subject! Perhaps if you assholes didn't milk me completely dry of wit by making me come up with something for EVERY GODDAMN PAGE...
~ Oscar Wilde on Writer's Block

Writer's Block is

ummm... it's...

I got nothing... maybe...


Virus big
The Writer's Block virus enters the body by
anything sexual is too easy, uh...
snorting contaminated cocaine
still easy, but a step up, I guess, eh, still too easy... forget it.

Writer's Block is a disease that causes only writers to get constipated,

no, that's too obvious, let's try and go more random with it.


The Writer's Block Act of 1897 was a bill passed by the senate that decreed all writers who have writer's block will be hoarded and shot in the knee until...

here come the suck police!

"Sir, did you write this?"

"Why yes I did!"

"Well it sucks, you're going to jail!"

"Oh no!"


Writer's Block affects mostly uncreative stupid people. Seriously, c'mon! You don't know what to write about? Oh boo hoo cry baby, just write about a giant ninja-pirate war and get it over with. Fuck! Seriously! I mean c'mon! Honestly!

Oh God that's horrible... I suck. I suck and I suck. I can't even think of other ways to say I suck. I suck.


Writer's Block doesn't exist. It's a physical impossibility.

Where am I even trying to go with that? I'm not even thinking.

Think... think...

A guy named Writer who owns a block? Is that a pun? I'm not risking it.

SirWilliam
Sir William was a
what's the funniest sounding insult? Prick? I kinda like codswallop. The fuck's a codswallop, though? You know what, no...


Writer's Block was invented in 1976 by Sir William Drake

I'm liking the "Sir," I think it adds something

who was a total prick. Sir William Drake hated writers because when he was but a young teen, he was raped by one.

Will anyone notice I stole that from Team America? No.

Sir William Drake invented writer's block by...

you're writing yourself into a corner here... by mixing things... by magic... fuck!


Writer's Block is the cityblock in New York were all the writers live

oh damn, no, that's a pun, I can't do that.


Writer's Blokk is a gangsta rap group that became famous in 1999

too much work for a "rappers use the letter K more than is necessary" joke.


Writer V. Block was the monumentous Supreme Court decision ruling that the concept of Writer's Block had no constitutional right to exist because it impeded on a Writer's free speech, by not allowing him to think of anything to speak about.

That's actually kinda good. Really good. Yeah, I don't wanna waste this idea on this two-bit website, I'll save it for when they finalize my book deal.


Writer's Block was invented so that people could pretend to be writers and get laid. A little known fact is that REAL writers never run out of ideas. Writers like Stephen King, who writes three books just to warm up for writing eight more books

that's a shitty joke

and then he walks around acting creepy and stuff

I made it shittier!

How it works is that when a person asks someone pretending to be a writer what they're currently writing, they tell them "nothing right now, I got some nasty writer's block," and then he gets laid

how do I explain how they get laid? No, actually, screw it.


Writer's Block comes from fucking pigs up the ass

"banned for: ever; reason: really unfunny article about bestiality, which I had warned the author about numerous times before.


Writer's Block is a weekly children's TV show for young and aspiring authors

since when do kids aspire to be authors? They all want to be firemen and ice cream truck drivers.

The show stars Oprah

why?

and her two friends Oscar Wilde

it's obligatory, but still...

and Pancho Villa

now there's just no excuse for that.

The show concentrates around the trio's efforts to start up a community theatre in inner city Harlem. But The Man is holding them down

Oscar Wilde's not a minority, but I think by now people will have already forgotten I mentioned him. Well, I suppose he's gay... Wait, hold on...

Oscar Wilde is a minority

fixed it.

They launch an all-out aerial assault against The Man by

I need that animated .gif of the black kid yelling "that's racist!" Where did I see that? Somewhere on the albinoblacksheep forums... fuck it, I don't want to have go find it.

Let's try just writing whatever I think...


Writer's Block

is really pissing me off right now

is really pissing me off right now,

to the point that I'm actually trying to write about it

to the point that I'm actually trying to write about it!

Oh shit, I have hit rock bottom.

Oh shit, I have hit rock bottom.


Plagiarism

wait, wait, no need to make rash decisions...

Mystery person
This person is experiencing Writer's Block
and I am experiencing awesomeness-induced orgasm.


Writer's Block

makes you want to consider suicide

is a state in which a person cannot create original ideas for writing, and therefore loses confidence in their ability.

I don't know why, but I find that funny

Writer's block can be annoying to a novice writer, and debilitating to a professional writer.

It's dry! It's subtle!

There is no real cure for writer's block, and most writers believe the only course of action is to simply wait it out.

Oh man, if they don't get it, they're quite obviously retarded!

Writer's block can, worst of all, lead to the writer believing horribly bad material to actually be comedic genius

comedic genius!

Some of the best works of literature are the eventual results of writer's block.

This is fucking awesome. I think I'll reward myself with a Snickers and Dr. Pepper.


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