Worst 100 gifts to give to a friend

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Be warned that if you give any of the following gifts to your friend/girlfriend/homosexual/favorite pony/favorite porn star, there could be a high possibility of freaking out, suicide attempts, death, fainting or anything else. However, if you are giving gifts to an enemy or rival, then these are the best choices.

Contents 1 100-91 2 90-81 3 80-71 4 70-61 5 60-51 6 50-41 7 40-31 8 30-21 9 20-11

edit 100-91

100. Your mom

She loves you so much, and you'll give her away?

99. A human thumb

Sounds painful, doesn't it?

98. Your penis

Worst than 99.

97. A dead cat

Not as worst as the below

96. A dead fetus

Abortion is not a gift

95. Your friend's credit card

$_$

94. Yourself

Why would anyone want that as a gift?

93. A jar of snakes

Venomous snakes are deadly

92. Porn Magazines

Unless if that guy's a porn addict.

91. Your house

Unless if you want to be a hobo.

edit 90-81

90. Your foreskin

But how about foreskin in a soup?

89. Your foreskin in a soup

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-

88. A one-way ticket to my fist

I would enjoy it, but he/she probably won't

87. Your viagra pills

They may/may not need it even if they have erectile dysfunction

86. Your balls

ARE YOU NUTS? yes

85. A piranha to the penis

Dude, that's gotta hurt alot. Care for some bandages?

84. A rabid Pit Bull

Not the best choice for a pet.

83. A roblox best buy gift card

Um...

82. Your dad

Worse than 100.

81. The Foot

Unless you want to murder him.

edit 80-71

80. Leatherface

Unless if your friend's a cannibal.

79. An unhatched frag grenade

BOOM

78. A baby

Sex isn't a gift unless your partner is ready for it. Otherwise...see 96.

77. Sweet Jesus on a Stick!

If that guy's a Christian its gotta make things worse.

76. A Self-Help Book

I actually got this once. It's basically saying: 'sort yourself out'

75. Porkchops

If your friend happens to be Jewish.

74. This guy

One word: No.

73. A bathroom scale with sliding weights

Not just awkward to wrap, but another way of telling the recipient that they are fat.

72. A steampunk prototype of a condom

those cogs might jam that thing

71. Justin Bieber songs

Who likes those gay songs anyway?

edit 70-61

70. One cent of cash

MONEY MONEY MONEY, MUST BE FUNNEH, IN A RICH MAN'S WORLD

69.

Just think about it

68. AIDS

You're killing em, are ya?

67. Soda with your spit in it

Gross.

66. Soda with your semen in it

WAY gross.

65. Soda with your crap and piss mixed with someone's vomit I collected yesterday in it

That's it, I'm going to the mental hospital and lock myself with a strip jacket.

64. A bag of fart mistaken for weed

Just imagine the results.

63. Deodorant with blue cheese inside

If your friend tries it on, you could laugh your ass off.

62. Ron Paul Workout Video

Your friend will love to see the sexiest man on the planet work-out.

61. Self-Castration Kit

Do I really have to explain?

edit 60-51

60. A Dildo

Just to make things awkward quick.

59. Your Mom's Dildo

Comes with free crabs.

58. A Baby Jesus Butt-Plug

Okay. This just needs to stop.

57. Adult Diapers

Maybe he'll get the hint he needs to be potty trained. Come on. He's 34.

56. Ashes From the Holocaust

To add to his living-room decor.

55. Blue Waffle

Yum.

54. Fisting Machine

Stretch it wide!

53. Hillary Clinton Nudes

Only if He/She is into granny porn.

52. A Used Condom

For Him.

51. A Used Tampon

For Her (or him if you wanna' freak him out).

edit 50-41

50. 10 Lb Crack Rock

Watch them OD in a second!

49. A Bag of Anthrax

The Government will be watching them like a hawk from now on.

48. My Grandmother's Pasties

She's got some bad nipple cheese.

47. Dinggleberries

Picked Straight from your asshole. Now that's a home-made gift.

46. A Glory Hole in their Shower

That'll be one hell of a surprise.

45. Kim Jong-il's Dead Body

I hope North Korea doesn't see this.

44. A Hydrogen Bomb

Would go perfect with #45. Now it's your choice what to do with it.

43. A Mormon Sex-Doll

Let them get their freak on with a freak religion.

42. Ruffees

So good, they wont even remember.

41. A Sore Asshole

Goes great with #42. They'll be wondering how they got this once they wake up.

edit 40-31

40. Rape Kit

If you give them #42 & #41, they're gonna' want this.

39. Fanny Pack

I don't even know if they make these any more...

38. A Dead Polar Bear

It was so cute. Now what the fuck are they suppose to do with it?

37. A Life Size Cut-Out of Hitler

Just aim to offend them.

36. A zombie

"Wake up dog, eat up"

35. A cellphone to replace his kidneys

Every time someone calls him, he'll start wetting his pants!

34. Death

to free them from their sufferings, often ending up on you getting to jail.

33. Fluttershy

now they start fighting over you for a pegasus to rape by sex.

32. A Ticket to Nebraska

Unless your friend has some kind of corn fetish you may actually bore them to death.

31. A Time Machine that takes 30 seconds into the past

They can use it to go back and tell you to not give them this gift.

edit 30-21

30. A life

Since your using yours reading this article.

29. Acupuncture from a Blind Man

When you're on a budget.

28. A Professional Lacrosse Team

Comes with a TV slot at 2:30 in the morning.

27. A Piece of the Moon

Now they just need a couple billion dollars to visit it.

26. Your Virginity

You would, if you uncle hadn't beat you to the punch.

25. Bug Attractant

I heard the West Nile Virus is all the rage.

24. two barrels of double aught buck

Seriously officer it was a gift

23. Something you made yourself

Seriously no one wants boondagle key chain and a piece of paper with a doodle on it for a birthday

22. a contagious disease

this year I'd decided to give you something you always wanted, Ebola

21. a hug

Get the hell off me you foul smelling sasquach.

edit 20-11

20. An Ipod that only plays "Friday" by Rebecca Black

Unless they are looking for a semi-painless way to kill themselves.