Worst 100 Ways to Die of All Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Contents 1 Infinity through 101 2 100 through 91 3 90 through 81 4 80 through 71 5 70 through 61 6 60 through 51 7 50 through 41 8 40 through 31 9 30 through 21 10 20 through 11 11 10 through 1 12 The worst way to die of all time 13 .0000000001 through negative infinity 14 See Also

[edit] Infinity through 101

181. Finding out this statement is false.

180. Listening to your grandmother talk about her past sexual relationships.

179. Swollowing a whole snake

178. Reading this

177. Ripped to pieces by a flock of seagulls (the band not the birds)

176. Eaten by a manhawk

175. getting hung drawn and quartered completly by nature

174. Actually Watching All of 2 Girls 1 Cup

173. Getting Eatin out by Steven Tyler From Aerosmith

172. choking on your moms penus

171. Getting Struck by a Dodge Grand Caravan

170. 'Getting "IT" Stuck in a meat grinder and bleeding to death

169. Watching James Masterson naked for more than 0.00000000000001 milli-seconds. This will cause your eyes to implode and boil in your head setting a light your brain, which will then cause a fire to travel down your body burning everything inside until you are eviserated completely. You will fell all of this pain. In case of this happening - kill yourself first and spare yourself the pain.

168. Being attacked by Lisa Nowak. Remember Lisa Nowak? The astronaut who attempted to kill another astronaut by driving from Texas to Florida while wearing adult diapers? I'm ringing a bell, aren't I?

167. Getting poked until you die

166. Having to read a list about the worst 100 ways to die of all time but it turns out there are 167 ways.

166.5 The smell of your own poo makes you gag and you choke on your own vomit

165.Telling your kids a story and then happens to come true, and part of that story was you ending

up stabbing your eye with a fork and then eating the eye.

164. Giving birth to a cactus. Through your 3 centimeter wide, 8 mile long penis.

163. Giving birth to the taco bell dog.

162. By watching <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSQa4nLTyXI">this</a>.

161. Death by looking in the mirror. Then having an adorable Filipino girl eat you.

160. By FALCON PUNCH in the ovaries

160. Death Note induced suicide, because you unintentionally kill yourself in an intentional way.

160.5 Not getting that reference and then angsting about it to death.

159. Having an erection lasting more than ten hours and not calling your doctor.

158.not For Him.

157. Drowned in A toilet.

156. Death by dying.

155. Reading entire list backwards.

154. Being deep fried alive. You would burn and eventually you would have to open your mouth to inhale, letting in the burning oil and deep frying your lungs.

153. Go to the time displacement chamber travel back to the year before you were born, and kill your mother!

151.

150. Being banned from Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica at the same time.

149. Staying in an infinite loop that you can't get out of.

148. Clicking this link.

147.

146. Being transfigured.

145.5 Being forced to hit F5, then look at 145.5 again.

145. Being Super Freaked'.

144. Snapping your back during an intense session of autofellatio and choking on you dick during your orgasm, sperm oozing down your windpipe.

143. Getting run over by an ambulance.

142. Death by safety scissors and eating all the glitter glue .

141.75. Being Aborted.

141.5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWgBAXJWcuM

141. Making out with a hyeana or rabid wolverine.

140. Being raped and decapitated by a teddy bear with a thirst for blood and man flesh. Mmm, crispy.

139. Sacrifice yourself for someone when he/she will also die in 1 minute after your death.

138. Cracking open a egg and finding a fully formed chicken --- And then cooking it into your omelet anyway --- and then choking on its tiny bones... but you then find out out they were scales...eww.

137. Accidentaly drinking that milk that you had left in the cupboard for the last month or so.

136. Sitting on your mom then getting sucked in! >>(i)<< i=u

135. Nibbled to death by a ninja turtle.

134. Being run over by a trailer ---- seven times.

133. Waking up a dead person, and then realizing that they are dead, makes you have a heart attack, and then THEY wake YOU up dead.

132. Waking up dead.

131. By teasing Prof. Snape about his greasy hair, and them him telling you that, "What do you think we cook your chips in?!"

130. Eating a funny whelk.

129. Being a vampire and sucking out someones blood and after they yell "haha, I have AIDS!!".

128. Realizing that 127 is true.

127. Realizing that 128 is false.

126. Reading this list .

125. Talking too much leet, for example

101 1 m 73 1337 1 p\/\/N u n008.

124 1/2. trying to figure out what 125 says ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

124. Attempting to solve hunger by not eating.

123. Eyes melting due to watching way too much television.

122. "This time for sure!"

121. Ultimate World of Warcraft Marathon.

120. Trampled by fluffy kittens who were fluffy.

119. Signing up for Battle Royale for fun.

116. Relazing that 3 numbers are missing --- oh, wait! 20-16= hmmmm! that's not three! oh well.

115. Mind explosion related to to much minesweeper.

111. A massive potato blight.

110. "In Soviet Russia, food eats you!"

109. Being stabbed to death by a small Filipino with a plastic spork from taco bell

108. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

107. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

106. Anything related to MySpace.

105. Super AIDS

104. Fatal case of Saturday night fever.

103. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

102. Murdered for being really fucking annoying.

101. Papercut inflicted by Giant Paper.

[edit] 100 through 91

100. Death by snoo-snoo! --- YAY!

99. Autopsy Results

Subject was alive while at the start of the autopsy. *cough* We have rectified that accordingly.

98. Razor blades and rubbing alcohol.

97. Getting birthday punches when you turn 100.

96. Bigpox.

95. Refering to football hooligans as soccer hooligans.

94. Alien lays eggs inside your chest (---- and dying of hunger

how are you meant to eat them there?!? i mean, for god's sake!).

93. Illegal alien lays tile floor inside your chest, turns out to be unliscenced contractor.

92. Arms magically replaced with angry wolverines.

91. Getting to level 8-1 without using any warpzones, only to fall into that stupid double pit, like, five times in a row.

[edit] 90 through 81

90. Anything involving hillbilles who hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher after drowning you with stupid knock-knock jokes.

89. Auto-erotic asphyxiation accident (for the kids at home, let me put this into layman's terms

you've just hanged yourself while wanking).

88. Auto-erotic decapitation accident.

87. Premature reincarnation.

86.5 Reverse diarrhea.

86. Being 86'ed in the Game.

85.

84. Castration By Wooden Spoon (May not kill you but you would wish you were dead by the end).

83. Tiny Submarine regains full size inside your body before tumor is removed (not every story has a happy ending like Timmy's Fairly Odd Parents).

82. Goatse.cx related brain explosion.

81. Decapitation Disease

[edit] 80 through 71

80. You're not a cannibal but your conjoined twin is.

79. Your conjoined twin is not a cannibal, but you are.

78. As an elderly virgin (over 40).

77. Being done to death (jokes only).

76. Scared to death.

75. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death.

74. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death by the possibility of being scared to death.

73. Etc.

72. Getting pwned by hungry whales from Japan.

71. Seven Hours of Tony Danza!

[edit] 70 through 61

70. Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend related fatality.

69. Skin failure.

68. Without honor.

67. Being mistaken for a canteen and filled with soup.

66. Being buried alive.

65. Being buried alive in the same coffin as Gilbert Gottfried.

64. Rolled up in Katamari, turned into stardust.

63. Eaten by zombies, turned into a zombie, then eaten by zombie eating superzombies.

62. Deleted by God for having no redeeming value.

61. Allergic reaction to own blood.

[edit] 60 through 51

60. Mistaken for a sockpuppet by extremely strong, stupid ventriloquist (WE WANT YOU!).

59. Substituting jellied petroleum for petroleum jelly during any number of personal procedures.

58. Not e-mailing this list to ten other people within ten minutes of the moment you finish reading it. If you do you will have da fame and fortune and all your wishes will come true and you'll see an animation starring the Taco Bell dog.

57. Crossing the streams. Don't cross the streams!

56. Choking on your own vomit.

55. Choking on Gary Coleman's vomit.

54. Vomit chokes on you.

53. Successfully dividing by zero.

52.5. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

52. Pop rocks and soda triggered head explosion.

51. Mistaking that big round indentation on the Death Star for a very large, well lit, landing pad.

[edit] 50 through 41

50. Severe head injuries inflicted by an Xbox controller.

49. Reciting Pi to 10929473598 decimal places, causing your head to asplode from too much thinking.

48. Speaking with Dr. Phil for 6 hours straight.

47. Paradox-related head explosion ---- ha ha! your head asploded!

46. On the toilet --- with a girlie magazine ---- after finding your angel is the centerfold --- goddamn those baby blues!

45.5 http://bringvictory.com/

45. Genetically-modified hot dog eating contest with chilli and beans.

44. Listening to Rihanna.

43. Eaten by a shark.

42. Eaten by yourself.

41. Eaten by Oprah.

[edit] 40 through 31

40. Eaten by God.

39. Drowning in a pool of Micheal Jackson's "Jesus Juice". mmm mmmmm! yummo!

38. Deleted for being unfunny and too short ---- as in "standard"

37. Severe Disco accident ---- Disco Stu discounts any claims, and refuses to acknoledge any court summons.

35. Realizing that there was no 36 ------ the HORROR --- head a splodes.

34.5. Reading 35 and not realizing there was no 36.

34. Attempting to dig a hole to China.

33. Assassinated by Abe Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.

32. Eaten by a Grue.

31. Overdosing on kittens.

[edit] 30 through 21

30. Being Paris Hilton's love interest.

29. "Sucking a male penis super hard and getting shot with mega ultra sperm and asian people have small penises

28. Being a rapper --- like Britney Spears.

27. Living in New Jersey, and only owning a jumper.

26.457903628969. Choking on unnecessary decimals.

26. Suffering from unexplained severe skull fractures as the only person who can play the drums with their head.

25. Fatal Watermelon-related accident.

24. Choking on air.

23. Anything that involves cars, a condom, dead people, and fiery explosions --- like in that movie; Snow White.

22. Attempting to carry on an intelligent conversation with George Dubya Bush.

21. Deleted for being vandalism.

[edit] 20 through 11

20. Banned from life.

19. Anything that involves a game of bingo --- Yahtzee!

18. Spontaneous Combustion --- just like spontaneous cheesecake -- very nasty.

17. Eating until you asplode, and then asploding until there is nothing left to asplode except your braces.

16. merdered cuz u tak like dis ---- n stoof, ya'll gut et?

15. For no reason whatsoever -- besides this reasn -- derr!

14. Trampled by a herd of gorillas on PCP.

13.62 Choking on your own poop.

13. Heart attack.....

...At the age of 16 and 2/7ths and a half.

12. Gaining super strength, but not super toughness then crushing yourself trying to bench a car on a park bench.

11. Philosophically disproving your own existence through existentialist relativism.

[edit] 10 through 1

10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LrYsc8wfXM

9. Anything that ends up on YouTube.

8.5 Soul Calibur.

8. Soul Cancer.

7.5.1.0 Cancer cancer- A disease where even your cancer has cancer! (just like when your pimples have pimples on their pimples!)

7. Teleporter accident, these are never pretty --- we went transportin'/cathy and aaron and meg/aaron got cathy's heart/i got george's leg

6. Unknown, unloved and 50 pounds overweight.

5.111113 being breast fed at 27.

4.75. Under a morbidly obese man (aka Sean Potter).

4.5 With a morbidly obese man inside of you.

4.123 http://smouch.net/lol

4. Inside a morbidly obese man.

3.75.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284 811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245 870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623 799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051320005681271 452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499 999983729780499510597317328160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554 687311595628638823537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989380952572010654858632788659361533818279682303019520353018529689957736 225994138912497217752834791315155748572424541506959508295331168617278558890750983817546374649393192550604009277016711390098488240128583616035637076601047 101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935112533824300355876402474964 73263914199272604269922796782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927210797509302955. Memorising that.

3.5.141592653 Eaten by math homework -- alive.

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093846095505822317253594081284811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051320005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983729780499510597317328160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989380952572010654858632788659361533818279682303019520353018529689957736225994138912497217752834791315155748572424541506959508295331168617278558890750983817546374649393192550604009277016711390098488240128583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935112533824300355876402474964732639141992726042699227967823547816360093417216412199245863150302861829745557067498385054945885869269956909272107975093029553211653449872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074265425278625518184175746728909777727938000816470600161452491921732172147723501414419735685481613611573525521334757418494684385233239073941433345477624168625189835694855620992192221842725502542568876717904946016534668049886272327917860857843838279679766814541009538837863609506800642251252051173929848960841284886269456042419652850222106611863067442786220391949450471237137869609563643719172874677646575739624138908658326459958133904780275900994657640789512694683983525957098258226205224894077267194782684826014769909026401363944374553050682034962524517493996514314298091906592509372216964615157098583874105978859597729754989301617539284681382686838689427741559918559252459539594310499725246808459872736446958486538367362226260991246080512438843904512441365497627807977156914359977001296160894416948685558484063534220722258284886481584560285060168427394522674676788952521385225499546667278239864565961163548862305774564980355936345681743241125150760694794510965960940252288797108931456691368672287489405601015033086179286809208747609178249385890097149096759852613655497818931297848216829989487226588048575640 14270477555132379641451523746234364542858444795265867821051141354735739523113427166102135969536231442952484937187110145765403590279934403742007310578539062198387447808478489683321445713868751943506430218453191048481005370614680674919278191197939952061419663428754440643745123718192179998391015919561814675142691239748940907186494231961567945208095146550225231603881930142093762137855956638937787083039069792077346722182562599661501421503068038447734549202605414665925201497442850732518666002132434088190710486331734649651453905796268561005508106658796998163574736384052571459102897064140110971206280439039759515677157700420337869936007230558763176359421873125147120532928191826186125867321579198414848829164470609575270695722091756711672291098169091528017350671274858322287183520935396572512108357915136988209144421006751033467110314126711136990865851639831501970165151168517143765761835155650884909989859982387345528331635507647918535893226185489632132933089857064204675259070915481416549859461637180270981994309924488957571282890592323326097299712084433573265489382391193259746366730583604142813883032038249037589852437441702913276561809377344403070746921120191302033038019762110110044929321516084244485963766983895228684783123552658

trying to calculate to the end

3. Driving a burning car into a burning building where they store chainsaws and acid and then the firemen come but they're actually alligators in acid proof fireman disguises and they spray you with vinegar and lemon juice and swallow you whole and inside the alligator's stomach is this little guy who's like "This is my home get the hell out!" and he shoots you with a shotgun full of rock salt and sics his pet badger on you and saws your leg off and he kicks you out and you get a staph infection in the alligator's colon and you're pooped out into the sewer where you drown in filth and the city power main breaks and lands in your eye electrocuting you and your spleen explodes and you find out you have AIDS and a ninja turtle fucks you to death and now he has AIDS and you're covered in radioactive ooze and your ass becomes a mutant crab that starts pinching your ass and a hobo steals your skin and they take you to the morgue and freeze you to death and the coroner is that damn ninja turtle who fucks you to death again and gives you AIDS again and a spider lays eggs in your hair and they bury you alive and you suffocate and the bottom falls out of your grave and you fall into a bottomless pit and you go to hell.

2.5 Dying while reading number 3.

2/4. Being too stupid to live.

3/4. Death by Death.

1/2. Right, you're sewing on a sewing machine to knit a scarf or something for your mom, and suddenly you sew your own hand to the machine. You cry out in pain, and you flay about so much that the sewing machine rips off your arm and it flys to the other side of the room. You are screaming so much that your heart beats really hard and it rips through your ribcage and your skin and your eyes are dangling out and your lungs come out your eye holes and you are you have a rabid fit on the floor with your lungs making a bloody mess on the floor, and you hit a bookcase which sends your arm (with the sewing machine still attached) flying towards an ironing board, which knocks a boiling iron onto your face and it punctures your lungs and hideously disfigures your face. Suddenly a huge comet flys through your roof and crushes you. And one of those old really heavy irons stabs into your crotch, pointy side in.

1/3. Realizing 3/4, 1/2, and also 1/3 are not from 10 to 1 and do not come in between 2 and 1.

2. by the relization that your wife's name is "mom". DO YOU KNOW HOW AKWARD THAT IS?! DO YOU KNOW HOW AKWARD THAT IS DURING SEX?!'

[edit] The worst way to die of all time

Dying by the shock of finding out your dick getting bit off by a 25 cent chinese prostitute. You NEVER want to get those kinds! And if you do, DON'T let them suck your dick. You need someone more trust worthy, like maybe a 50$ one. I can not stress this enough people!!!

[edit] .0000000001 through negative infinity

0.0000000001 Pissing off Italians (the weasaly bastards).

0. A friendly game of "Toss the H-Bomb" gone horribly wrong.

-0.25 you are stuck in a room with no choice but to chat with the entire twilight fan club for eternity

-0.5 having anal sex with Hitler only to have him find out your a Jew!!!

-1. Death by Emo!

-1.27562. Having your internal organs gouged out through your eyes with a melon-baller.

-2. Over-exposure to Redundancy. Over-exposure to Redundancy. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

-3. All of the Above. Occurring all at once.

-4. You die from eating Hannibal Lector. (Hannibal Lector)

-5. You finally agree to eat something Martha Stewart makes. (Martha Stewart)

-6. You get your hand cut off on cloud city and fall to oblivion, not landing on the strage satellite object thingy because YOU HAVE NO HAND TO GRAB ONTO IT. (Luke Skywalker)

-6.66 Have sex with a girl, who's vagina is made of blades

-7. You pick up the holy materia and Sephrioth attacks you. (Damn Aeris, no matter how many times I replay that scene and tell her hes coming she NEVER LISTENS)

-8. You win the lottery, jump around outside and go crazy, only to be ran over by the big brown truck. (Richard Hatch)

-9. You star on Jerry Springer and Steve kills you. (Mini-me)

-10. You have so much gay sex you die of AIDS before you get done. (Richard Hatch)

-11. You make Dirty Harry's day. (Punk)

-12. You arrive at the pearly gates and the great one himself tells you to fuck off because you forgot bring the AV cable and the beer for the universal nerd party. (Bill Nye)

-13. Mr. T stops pitying you.

-14. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you to the face and then rapes you. (Everyone on the planet)

-15. You make yourself a Martyr by sacrificing yourself to destroy the greatest threat of the galaxy, only to be brought back by a dragon's balls so you can be killed again. (Krillin, Krillin, Goku, Goku, Vegeta, Vegeta, Gohon, Krillin, Krillin, That little white guy with a red dot on has head)

-16. Overdose of viagra. (Richard Hatch)

-17. You didn't realize Pamela Anderson had AIDS. (Kid Rock)

-18. You were forced to star on an Enzyte commercial with Bob. (Larry King)

-19. Satan spikes the punch and you fall in the lava. (Hitler)

-20. You are driving down the street when you encounter Bill Clinton on the side of the road with your mother. You immediately try to run them both over, but your mama is so fat the car bounces back and lands in the house accros the street. This house happens to belong to John Stamos

and a very large emu. After the initial shock of seeing John Stamos raping an emu, Bill and your mama decide to pay a visit, making it a very big President/mama/gay/bird orgy. You cannot take it anymore so you run down the street to call the cops, only to find out that they have been taken over by umpa-lumpas and the black guy that always dies first in horror movies. You tell them of your plight, but instead of helping you they join the orgy. You continue on to another house to discover it belongs to the entire cast of Seinfeld. You thought they were all dead or in prison so the shock of the sight kills you on sight. As you walk through the pearly gates Bob Dylan (How did he get in heaven? Nobody knows) sings to you as god rejects you and sends you to hell. (Richard Hatch)

-21. If you are black, you die after being forced to participate in the Winter Olympics. (Everyone in the movie "Cool Running")

-22. Drowning. It sucks, believe me. (Moby's Dick)

-23

Having to read -20 or 3. Or both. At once.

-17.8e219652bd3c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw

-24 Getting stabbed by corn on the cob with salt on it.

-25 You are inside a house when all of a sudden your TV makes you watch a 13 hour infommercial that is about how you can make your cat dance, but then you realize you don't even have a cat so you say I WANT 13 HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK so you call the infommercial number but they say sorry we dont take visa but we will send a big fat sumo wrestler to sit on your head while your sleeping so then in 12 days you wake up and you have poop all over your head because of the sumo wrestler that sat on it. Then you contract e-coli from the poop and you die.

-26 Your in school when all of the sudden your teacher says STEVE GO TO THE BATHROOM but your name isn't Steve then you copy Pink Floyd and say "Hey Teachers! Leave them kids alone" Then you get arrested for plagiarism and go to jail with Paris Hilton and she tells you 'you're not hot' so then you get plastic surgery and become hot and then Paris hilton goes out with you and poisons your tea and you die of skin desease.

-27 You get hit by a bus...on the toilet.

-28 KILLER RABBIT *Killed*

-29 Reading either 3, 20, -25 or -26.

-30 All of the above happening to you at once when you were 3.

-31 Being eaten by grues.

-32 Singing the Llama song so fast you didn't know you were outside dancing like a moron. You then weep in a fetal position; then an anvil falls on you. You were then forced to listen to 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!s until your head asplodes, then you get marched on by a 1000 wheeler truck 60 times, a block with the first 16938479283478392479847 numbers on it, a llama, the moon, Oscar Wilde, Ultra Jesus, Rosie O. Donnell, Oprah, Dr. Phil, IE, Mozilla, Opera, Safari, Maxthon, a heavy sumo wrester, and a float with the Black Parade, a bowl of gherkins, 300000 grues, and a pot of guacamole. The grues notice you, and eat you, in which point, falls into a room full of TNT. Grues ask "What does TNT mean?", then explode. You hit Jupiter, which you sink into and then explode.

-33 Reading this whole page 34 times.

-34 Death by Michael Jackson.

-35 Death by Bruce Lee.

-36 By standing next to a wall and then having the Kool-aid guy come crashing through it screaming "Oh Yeah!!!"

-36.5 Over-exposure to Redundancy.

-37 Finding your virginity.

-39 Getting Drunk and passing out in front of a crack whore who takes advantage of you while you lay there in the street then having the crack whore shove a tampon down your throat which will expand and cause great pain. You will only awaken in time to die a painful death of suffocation.

-40 eaten by ROSIE O'DONNELL.

-41 Going to Wal Mart to buy some groceries, but all of a sudden Jimmy Hoffa pops out of the ground and starts ass raping your car, and then a bunch of Grues come and have a big fat orgy with Unicorns and rainbows all over the place and then that SAW guy starts joining in on the giant rape/orgy and then pikachu and some uber 133t wizards come and Pikachu starts hitting you with his thunderbolt and the wizards start casting frotz, which then kills the grues and ends the orgy...but then just when you thought it was over Dr.Phil and Oprah come with some barbarians and they start preaching to you about how ass raping dogs is not the right thing to do and you should be ashamed of yourself! But then Oprah starts to eat everything in sight and Gumby comes with an AK-47 and pwns all of them and you wake up with a pair of Paris Hilton's underwear on your head and there are all these little mini grues dancing around you. And then you die........But then Barmey and elmo ambbush you when you get into hell and they steal all of your stuff and then my little pony rapes you and you get Herpes.........and then you die again and join the four horsemen of the apocalypse(teletubbies) in the 2nd hell. where they sit there and laugh at you and call you a fucking pansy and they chop off your head over and over again and you cannot do anything about it, and then you wake up in some desert in Arabia and this camel comes and shits all over your face. And then you die of old age.

-42. Death while reading 3, -20 or -42.

-43. You go to a club feeling lucky for the evening, only to realize that Dirty Harry is the doorman.

-43.0303490385947826058791489835968539254724886 Being raped by Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jacko's pet Bubbles, Rosie O'Donnell, Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, Hannah Montana, George W Bush, Marylin Manson, Oprah, Dr. Phil, ur mom, ur face, and a pig wearing a tutu and everything above is happening to you and raping you at once in a Wal-Mart inside Michael Jackson's Neverland the size of a grain of sand in a purple unicorn tornado in hell.

-44. You are sitting in the crowd at a Guns n Roses concert when your mutant crab of an ass tells you that shamu died, and you go on a rampage, but then Adolph Hitler comes back to life and starts humping Slash and everyone seems slightly distracted for the time being, while a mob of emo hamster start beating the living shit outta you, then you wake up in a Wal Mart parking lot and you find yourself being chased by a bunch of rabid Mexicans who start chucking crucifixes at you then you trip over a land mine and get your ass blown all the way into Oprah's lap where she starts attempting to breast feed you but you jump up and fall into a giant cave where a bunch of albino midgets start chanting your name then you grab your rifle and pop one off one by one, when all of a sudden a toad comes up to you and smacks you across the face yelling "OUTLANDER OUTLANDER, then you are forced to do probation work in Iowa and eventually commit suicide....THEN YOU DIE. O_O

-45. Seeing how far you can fit your fist down your throat, then choking on it.

-46. Looking at your mom and suddenly having your head a splode.

-47. Over-exposure to Redundancy.

-48. While watching brokeback mountain.

-49. Getting ass raped by Lance Bass. TWICE!

-50. Being forced to watch your mom get ass raped by Lance Bass.

-51. Challenging Miami Seaquarium.

-52. Being strapped to a chair at the Missouri state captital, while all the Backstreet Boys each give you a quickie.

-53. Forced to sit on Michael Jackson's lap while he's dressed as Santa Clause in the middle of a Mexican walmart.

-53.5. Trying to go on strike at a Wal-Mart.

-54. Death by Tom Petty; dont ask how.

-55. Death by massage from Oprah;

-56. Fucking your computer and catching a virus.

-57. Being buried by Steve Ballmer.

-58. Eaten By those mother F*king snakes on that mother F*king plane.

-59. Getting sat on my Mrs. Bornand till you a splode.

-60. Being sodomized by a Giant Redwood tree.

-61. Dieing of laughter while watching a Hitler speech to the sound of 'Angry German Kid'.

-62. Committing suicide after your grandma catches you getting of to goatse.cx and asks to help you finish off.

-63. The Aristocrats!

-64. By Heart Attack when you realise that you spent so much time reading this list when your boss is looking over your shoulder. (HE KNOWS YOU'RE ON THIS SITE)

-65. By being eating by a Kangodzilla.

-66. Getting your stomach filled with super glue.

-67. Death by Mudkip.

-68. Cancer.

-69. Sex with a ghost.

-70. Being a Rugrats fan for 95 years.

-71. Death by Mudkip.

-72. Being locked in a microwave.

-73. Being raped by a shovel.

-74. Confusing Rubbing Alcohol with actual drinking alcohol.

-75. Going through this entire list and attempting to fix the grammar.

-76. death via palindromes semordnilap aiv htaed .67-

-77. An uneventful death in which your last thought is how you wasted your life doing useless shit. For example reading crap on the Internet that people didn't even put enough effort into to make funny,like this list.

-78. ANYTHING involving Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh

-79. Editing Worst 100 Ways to Die of All Time

-80. Having to sit through the Hannah Montana movie

-81. Having to sit though the Hannah Montana movie with some fan girls who have AIDS

-82. Having to sit through the Hannah Montana movie with Jonas Brothers fan girls, mainly because they won't shut the hell up

-83. Everything in the list happening to you at once when you are newborn.

-84.

-84:Stare at this picture for 10 minutes or until you  ;-85. Succeeding in screwing yourself die.

-86. Having hydrochloric acid dumped on you, but you're not dead, then you go through a wood chipper... really slowly.

Anything from saw really.

-87. Meating Light Yagami then punching him straight in the face.

-88. Realizing I spelled Meeting in 89 Meating.

-89. Realizing I said 89 instead of 87 in 88.

-90. Being to confused at 89.

-91. Get in a swimming pool only to realize it's vat of sulfuric acid, then getting out, only to dissolve into the same acid 2 seconds later.

-92. Having to watch someone die as explained in 91 then commit suicide.

-93. Smoking a platypus-flavoured cigarette.

-94. Overdose of Dihydrogen Monoxide.

-95. Overdose of Zurcainerol

-96. Choking on a snake while on a plane...sitting next to Fred.

-97. Listening to Twilight Fans and Anti-Twilights argue.

-98. Being forced to explain adultery to a child.

-99. Reading Kama Sutra by Stephenie Meyer.

-100. Choking on your pet goldfish while trying to perform CPR... during a thunderstorm.

[edit] See Also

Exaitias pleonasmos asynetinos kai blakamentia baretos kai ilithios aniaros emeis oi idioi skotono

“Because of asinine redundancy and tiresome braindeadishness and boring boredom we kill ourselves.”

~ Socrates on How he willingly chugged his hemlock in order to put and end to the slow torture of feeling his brain rot while listening to wannabe philosophers inane attempts at jokes.81 slark smuthering with his rule

Bold text-

-88 By having a 69sum while doing 69

-89 Making out with a Girl/Boy, and then discovering that they also made out with several Pigs in Mexico