Worst 100 Ways of Being a Dick
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The All-Time 100 Worst:
- 100. April Fools Jokes
- 99. Bands
- 98. Books (General)
- 97. Cars
- 96. Children's Books
- 95. Colours
- 94. Computer Games
- 93. Cryptic Crossword Clues
- 92. Direct-to-Video Movies
- 91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
- 90. Evil Plans
- 89. Firefox extensions
- 88. Food
- 87. Football variants
- 86. Government Policies
- 85. Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series
- 84. Hybrid Animals
- 83. Inventions
- 82. Lists
- 81. Locations
- 80. LOL Cats
- 79. Make Out Songs
- 78. Money Making Schemes
- 77. Movies
- 76. Nonexistent Words
- 75. Numbers
- 74. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
- 73. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
- 72. Pick-up lines
- 71. Planets
- 70. Pokemon Cash-Ins
- 69. Porn Movies
- 68. Porn Stars
- 67. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
- 66. Reasons to become a Christian
- 65. Reflections on 2005
- 64. Reflections on 2006
- 63. Reflections on 2007
- 62. Reflections on 2008
- 61. Reflections on 2009
- 60. Rejected Harry Potter Novels
- 59. Remakes
- 58. Restaurants
- 57. Ringtones
- 56. Self Help Books
- 55. Sequels
- 54. Sexual Perversions
- 53. Short Poems
- 52. Sitcom Catchphrases
- 51. Songs
- 50. Songs about Seagulling
- 49. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
- 48. Songs To Have Sex To
- 47. Sonic Cash-ins and Characters
- 46. Spinoffs
- 45. Suicide Ideas
- 44. Superheroes
- 43. Things About the '00s
- 42. Things to do during Christmas
- 41. Things to Put In An IV
- 40. Things To Say In Court
- 39. Things to Say in the Workplace
- 38. Things to say on a First Date
- 37. Things to Stick your Dick in
- 36. Toys
- 35. TV Programs
- 34. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
- 33. Video Game Movies
- 32. Video Game Systems
- 31. Ways of Being a Dick
- 30. Ways to be Circumcized
- 29. Ways to Deliver Bad News
- 28. Ways to Die (Best)
- 27. Ways to Die (Worst)
- 26. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
- 25. Ways to Start a Novel
- 24. Ways to Win an Argument
- 23. Wonders of the World
- 22. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
- 21. Ways To Be Castrated
Among the many ways of being a dick, the following have been found the closest to that of Superman after saving a child from drowning in the north pole:
[edit] The list
29. Being the Jonas Brothers.
28. Your name is Scott Evans
27. Your Friends with Scott Evans
26. Your favorite book happens to be Moby Dick.
25. Reading this list list to see how you can get yourself higher on the dick leaderboard. Congratulations you've reached rank one! You are now a complete dick.
24. Realising that you are the worlds biggest dick. (The horror!)
23. Discover that the only dictionary search result for your name is "Gay". [1]
22. You're Mr. Garrison's first dick.
21. You're Mr. Garrison's second dick.
20. You're Dubya's first dick.
19. You're Dubya's second dick.
18. You're Hillary's first lady.
17. You're Dick's second lady.
16. Have a Revolting Cock write a song about how much of a dick you are. [2]
15. Make people actually wish you were Al Gore.
14-12. Be white, bald and cocky.
11. Never get the right quail. [3]
10. Have the truest sentence in the Wikipedia article about you get written by mistake. [4]
9. Have an autograph which could be modified to look like this: 
8. Have the name Dick and still get a job for someone called Bush.
7. Polka in public.
5. Let a guy called Scooter be your Chief of Staff.
4. Get involved in a freak quail-accident while being George Bush's vice president, yet at the same time still not be Dan Quayle.
3. Shoot a realy old guy in the face.
2. Be the target of a suicide attack in which over twenty other people have died, almost exactly a year after you shot a pesron in the face after mistaking him for a quail.
1. Make a realy old guy publicly apologize to you for the fact that you shot him in the face.
0.666. Strap a guy to a chair and make him watch Leekspin.com for five weeks.
[edit] References
- ↑ Wiktionary "Dick" entry
- ↑ Cock Song
- ↑ A quailing tip
- ↑ "As Vice President, Cheney is also the President of the United States"
