Worst 100 Sonic Cash-Ins

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According to God's True Word*, this is the list of the worst Sonic characters and cash-ins ever, as dictated by Catholics and Sonic fans. Readers of this article should get their sporks in hand.

*Please note that it could be less than 100. God created us in His Image, gave us free will and made us imperfect, but if we made it exactly 100, than we would go to the confessional booth. Thanks.

Contents 1 100-91 2 90-81 3 80-71 4 70-61 5 60-51 6 50-41 7 40-31 8 30-21 9 20-11 10 Bottom 10

[edit] 100-91

93.Sonic hedgehog gene

This is the gene that drives Amy Rose to love Sonic.

92. Sonic the Hedgehog (comic)

Published by Archiehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... go to Chao Phraya River. It has Chaos! See also Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and unrelated crap.

91. Antoine D'Collette

His name rhymes with Toilet and is the half-brother of Tails. He's now the Price of Monaco after sleeping and later marrying one of Grace Kelly's daughters.

[edit] 90-81

90. Blaze the Cat -

No wonder why it's here. It's unknown. She's a whore as much as Rouge the Bat.

89. Leek Buns -

Endorsed by Knuckles the Echidna, but they taste like shit.

88. Sonamy -

When you can't have it, draw it.

87. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic '06) -

Like playing incomplete games? Try this one.

86. Tails the Straight -

Dated Rouge the Bat. A furry that had since been ripped off by a Pokémon named Buizel.

85. Rouge the Bat -

This character caused the Rouge the Bat Porn Disease. Now look what happened. Thousands of Rouge the Bat porn are sent to the internet. Many people became furfags because of it.

84. Amy Rose -

The stalkerlover of Sonic, Amy would do anything to get him.

83. Rosy the Rascal -

Some pre-teen knock-off of Amy Rose that turns crazy when she first gets her period. You don't want to go around her during then.

82. Sonic Drift -

Sonic, one of the fastest beings alive, needs a car to race? Why?

81. Mobius Transit and Development Authority -

Yet another goddamn SimCity ripoff, now based on around Mobius.

[edit] 80-71

80. Knuckles -

What is an Australian monotreme doing in Sonic? Anyway, he is the token Aussie of the Sonic series.

79. Sonic Goes to the Philippines -

A stupid idea to boost tourism in the Philippines.

78. Piko Piko Hammer -

WTF is this hammer doing there, and how the heck does a hammer make a *piko* sound?

77. Amy Rose the Terrorist -

Scrapped after realising that many people might became terrorists because of the show. Funded by Al-Qaida.

76. Rouge VS Amy: The Game -

A ripoff of Street Fighter, Sonic style. They have to go for bitchslaps, wrestling and other stuff that you normally found in a strip club.

75. Rouge VS Amy: The Movie -

See above.

74. Egg___ -

Every-single machine made by Eggman/Robotnik is always a failure. A car that moves at 2 km/h with a drill on the front against a hedgehog that can go the speed of light? Yeah...

73. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 -

What more could you ask for?

72. The Tails Doll -

Thanks to Sonic CD, we now have something even worse to look at than Goatse.

71. Amy Does Goatse -

What's worse than the Tails Doll? It's Amy Rose doing Goatse!

[edit] 70-61

70. Sonic Explains about Anal Sex -

The summary is this: Anal Sex Hurts.

69. Rouge the Bat Hentai -

Get ready for more panic attacks. Over 9000 Rouge the Bat porn to masturbate to!

68. Amy Rose Hentai -

See above. Like Rouge the Bat hentai, but instead of her, it's Amy Rose on the hentai!

67. Michael Jackson and Sonic Adventure -

This game contains Michael Jackson, has music compose by Michael Jackson, and even has a Michael Jackson feel to it. WARNING: May cause eye-rape.

66. Moulin Rouge -

Now, have you ever seen a bat doing the can-can? No.

65. International House of Sonic (IHOS) -

A museum dedicated to Sonic. Also includes an IHOP restaurant. But it sounded like "iHo", doesn't it?

64. The Sonic-themed Jet -

To compete against the Pokemon-themed jet by ANA, Singapore Airlines introduced the Sonic-themed jet. Packed with Sonic cartoons, games and more. Now you just found a worst way to fly.

63. Tails' Adventures -

Need I say more?

62. Tails' Sky Patrol -

Yes, he has a plane, do we really need it pushed in our faces?

61. Sonic Moonwalker -

See: Michael Jackson

[edit] 60-51

60. Sonic the Hedgehog 4 -

For God's sake, SEGA, nobody cares! Stop exploiting Sonic and start creating better games!

59. Sonic the Pervert 2 -

Another failed attempt at getting adult Sonic fans. But at least it's not as bad as the first one.

58. Knuckles Gets Raped -

Do you want to see a monotreme getting raped? Then, you're in the right place.

57. Tails the Nazi -

Not developed by SEGA, but developed by a group of neo-Nazis. Banned in Germany due to the Nazi content.

56. Khmer Rouge the Bat -

The worst bat you ever come across. She killed half a million Cambodians during 1975-1979.

55. Tails' Bondage -

He ended up proclaiming shit after the BDSM experience. What a naughty fox.

54. Eggman Says... -

Eggman says SHIT!

53. Uncyclopedia's Sonic Mania -

Took just 18 years for Sonic to return to fever pitch, but this time, it's on Uncyclopedia!

52. Sonic Mystery Dungeon -

As SEGA was desperately looking for money, they came up with this as a Sonic version of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. It is pretty mush just like Pokémon Mystery Dungeon only with a Sonic theme, and instead of becoming a Pokémon you become a brand new Sonic character. The final result was that this idea was sent directly to Chunsoft and in the end, SEGA made only 3000 sales. Stupid idea, and it should never have been sold. Their budget was 300,000,000 yen for production of this game and made only 2,000,000 yen.

51. Amy Gets A Sex Change

Some sex educational video that never made it.

[edit] 50-41

50. Never Gonna Give Sonic Up: The Album of Sonic -

The album that sold 20,000 copies worldwide. Most are sold in the US, but they never listen to the album again.

49. The Creator of Sonic Quits -

He (Yuji Naka) quits because he ran out of ideas and SEGA wanted to cash in more on Sonic for survival. Yuji Naka blames it on SEGA and the Sonic cartoons.

48. Shadow has Two Daddies -

Teaches young children that homosexuality is alright. The biggest criticism is from the Westboro Baptist Church.

47. Amy Has Two Mummies -

A sequel to Shadow Has Two Daddies, it received the same criticism as the original book.

46. Black Dumo -

Although received several praises, it was the movie that received the most criticism. The worst movie to come out since the Sonic the Hedgehog Movie.

45. Sonic Goes To Hollywood -

Sorry Sonic, but I rather listen to "Frankie Goes To Hell".

44. Sonic-Pokemon Crossover -

Another SEGA-Nintendo creation, instead of Mario, they used Pokemon, as half of the characters in Pokemon are furries, and some are Sonic character look-alikes.

43. Sonic Advanced Series -

Sega ran out of money quickly, did they? But they still have money to create.... THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GAME? THE WORST SONIC GAME EVER? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not Cream the Rabbit! Why? WHY?! WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????
Oh, did I overreacted?

42. Knuckle's Adventure -

Another spin-off Sonic game that didn't hit the shelves for long. Similar plot to Tail's Adventure is the cause of this extinction of this game.

41. Thank You For Killing Tails -

This movie is the worst. If Black Dumo made you insane, wait until you see this 100-minute, piece of shit movie that focuses on the murder of Tails. Simple plot: Amy killed Tails with her Piko Piko Hammer.

[edit] 40-31

40. Shadow the Pervert -

Thanks to Newgrounds, we have something worse than the Tails Doll to look at.

39. Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games -

Need I say more? This is just the Olympics and nothing else.

38. The Sonic and Shadow Show -

Two words: EPIC FAIL.

37. "Sonic Says" segment at the end of the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog -

Sonic says: "What the fuck is this shit?"

36. Sonic saying "Shit" -

You can blame it on 4Kids though. Sonic definately have Tourette's Syndrome.

35. Tail's Bondage Adventure -

At least it's better than looking at Goa Tse or joining UNSOC. But he said "Shit".

34. Sonic Dies -

Yay! Sonic is dead!

33. Hardee's Promotion of Sonic -

In 2006, Hardee's did a promotion on Sonic the Hedgehog. For a toy, you get ther Anus Thickburger.

32. Sonic (restaurant) -

Sonic has his own restaurant, but nobody cares. Only Sonic fans eat there. Plus, there are lawsuits because the burgers had caused poisoning due to the high amount of echidna urine.

31. Shadow's Bar and Grill -

A poor ripoff of the Sonic's Bar and Grill.

[edit] 30-21

30. Sonic Riders -

What the fuck is this shit?! Are you seriously going to tell me that it's better than hoverboarding?

29. Jet The Hawk -

Horrible Horrible Horrible x3

28. Lani Minella -

She made Rouge sound worse. This unmarried blonde bombshell in her 50's hates when you call her, just like Jessica Gee. Speaking of which, she's in pratically every frickin video game ever.

27. Caren Manuel -

She made Rouge sound even more worse.

26. Tikal The Echidna -

She appeared in Sonic Adventure, and went to heaven. And that's it.

25. Maria Robotnik -

Blonde girl who was Shadow's sextoy, til she died and went to heaven.

24. Chaos -

Blue mutant who died and went to heaven with Tikal.

23. Wave The Swallow -

Beak. She made Tails cry.

23. Princess Elise -

If she cries, you're screwed. CAN'T UNSEE THE HUMAN-HEDGEHOG RELATIONSHIP!

22. The Handmaids -

They look like Sith.

21. Jason Griffith -

He has AIDS, and was in a condom commercial. Oh, that silly whore.

[edit] 20-11

20. KnuxRouge -

Considered as the rival equivalent of Sonamy, having a bat dating an echidna is impossible.

19. Sonic X Batles -

What's more, they banned it in China!

18. Sonic and the Black Knight -

You kerniggits! This is a marketing ploy for Sega!

17. Amy VS Sonic (厄眯X缩尼哭 in Chinese) -

Does the robot guy with a moustache have to intervene? And why are they fighting?

16. Sonic has AIDS -

If Jared Fogle voiced as Sonic instead, then Sonic has AIDS!

15. Sonic says "SHUT UP TAILS!" in the OVA -

SHUT UP SONIC! We don't care about your stupid OVA (Ovaries)

14. Sonic the Preggo -

Ew...

13. Cosmo-

Yep, Nintendo and Viacom sued them real good. A complete ripoff of Kirlia.

12. 缩尼哭X -

Couldn't read Chinese, dammit.

11. Naked drawings of Cream the Rabbit -

Yeah, that's one way to make the five year old Cream the Rabbit sexier. But putting cum on her? NOOOOOO!!!!!

[edit] Bottom 10

10. Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie-

Probably the worst anime ever to come into existance, and the second worst movie based on a video game.

9. Cream the Rabbit -

What a stupid rabbit. May be cute, but she is a killer bunny. Also an epic fail, because she is a crybaby.

8. Chip -

Goddamn stupid idea. Worst character by far.

7. Sonic Unleashed -

A game about Sonic turning into a furry hedgehog with claws is not a good idea, because:
a. Hedgehogs already have claws.
b. It's pointless.

6. The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog -

Having a plot based on "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" is not considered an "original idea".

5. Sonic the Hedgehog (game) -

It may be the original and the best, but the game is the worst and by the way, it's too old to be there.

4. Sonic the Comic -

A comic book that talks about Sonic and his friends. Better to have a game of Sonic than a comic. Or beter still, buy Batman. See also one of the following: Archie, and this link that has no relation with Sonic whatsoever.

3. Sonic the Pervert -

A marketing tool to get adults to become Sonic fans. It was a failure, as many people instead become furfags. You think we're lying? Search 'Sonic' on Newgrounds yourself.

2. Sonic the Hedgehog -

Nobody cares. Or do they? Wait.... some people care.

1. Sonic X (4Kids Dub) -

Take a decent Japanese show, remove every single swear word, fourth-wall breaking comments, good slapstick humor, violence and major plot devices, and you get the 4Kids dub of Sonic X.