Worst 100 Songs Referencing Paedophilia

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According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Songs referencing paedophilia ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

99 April Fools Jokes
98 Firefox extensions
97 Foods
96 Gifts to give a friend
95 Harry Potter Spin-offs
94 Inventions
93 Locations
92 LOL Cats
91 Make Out Songs
90 Moments to get a Boner
89 Moments to Laugh
88 Money Making Schemes
87 Movies
86 Nonexistent Words
85 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
84 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
83 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
82 Pick-up lines
81 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Things we learn from movies
78 Reasons to become a Christian
77 Reflections on 2005
76 Reflections on 2006
75 Reflections on 2007
74 Reflections on 2008
73 Reflections on 2009
72 Reflections on 2010
71 Reflections on 2011
70 Reflections on 2012
69 Reflections on 2013
68 Reflections on 2014
67 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
66 Remakes
65 Restaurants
64 Self Help Books
63 Sequels
62 Sexual Perversions
61 Short Poems
60 Sitcom Catchphrases
59 Songs
58 Songs about Seagulling
57 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
56 Songs To Have Sex To
55 Songs To Play At A Funeral
54 Spinoffs
53 Superheroes
52 Things About the '00s
51 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die (Best)
35 Ways to Die (Worst)
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Weapons
30 Rock Bands

edit Top Ten

100. "Two Little Boys"
- Antipodean bedtime classic from Rolf Harris.
99. " Little Girls"
- Oingo Boing.
98. "Girl, You'll be a Woman, Soon"
- Neil Diamond.
97. "Hot for Teacher"
- Van Halen recount their childhood memories.
96. "The Kids Are Alright"
- Pete Townsend and friends, remembered for the infamous accompanying videos.
95. "Sweet Child O' Mine"
- Guns N' Roses.
94. "Strange Little Girl"
- The Stranglers.
93. "I Got You Babe"
- Cher.
92. "Thriller"
- Michael Jackson. Just because.
91. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
- Charles Hasnovoice. Gallic lover of le petit femme.
90. "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl"
- Sonny Boy Williamson. Seriously.


edit Bottom 20

89. "All The Young girls Love Alice"
- Elton John. And Alice loves them back. Now she's in Wonderland...
88. "Rock Your Baby"
- George McCrae.
87. "Last Child"
- Aerosmith
86. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
- yeah, let's just say in the original it fuckin' well weren't a star what was getting 'twinkled'.
85. "Hot Child In The City"
- Nick Gilder -Not only does this seem to be about an underage whore, but the name Nick Gilder sounds like someone who'd be looking for underage whores!
84. "Sweet 17"
- The Babys - "She's got a mouth full of sticky stuff"
83. "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise"
- Judas Priest - Especially wrong when sang by a (gay) man completely dressed in leather!
82. "Wrong Way"
- Sublime - Lovely song about an obsession with a 15 year old hooker
81. "When I saw her standing there"
- The Beatles - She was just seventeen, eh?
80. "Christine"
- KISS - Just '16' hum Ace??

edit Bottom 70

79. Strokin' - Clearance Carter
78. "Aqualung"
- Jethro Tull - Creepy Bum with a snottynose eying little girls with bad intent?
77. "I Kissed a Girl"
- Katy Perry - Katy Perry reveals her obsession with little girls.
76. "Cherry Man"
- The Wannadies - You have to see the video to fully understand.
75. "Love Child"
Deep Purple
74. "Save All Your Kisses For Me"
Some crappy seventies band who won at Eurovision with this. It ain't just kisses, pal...
73. "Throwaway Children"
Dio. "I'll keep you safe and warm, words she needs to hear - what they really mean is no more... little girl..." Scary!
71. "House of 1000 Voices"
Candlemass. Infanticide and other unnamed horrors, but we can guess mwhahahaha!!!!!
70. "Child"
Free. Bondage, paedophilia... AAARGH!

edit Top Sixty

69. "What's Your Name"
Lynyrd Skynyrd.
68. "Who are you?"
The Who....'well I really wanna know!' (actual lyrics)
67. "Rock the Cradle of Love"
- Billy Idol.
66. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
Savage Edge
65. All the Girls Love Alice - "But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen, And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean"
64. Another Brick in the Wall - "Hey, Teacher, Leave them kids alone!"
63. I Saw Her Standing There - "Well, she was just 17, You know what I mean."
62. 5:15 by the Who - "Girls of fifteen, sexually knowing, the ushers are sniffing, eau-de-cologning"
61. Make It Hot - Nicole Wray
60. Top Jimmy - Van Halen

edit Top Bottom 50

59. Is It Love - Pink
58. Daddy - Korn
57. Luca - Suzanne Vega (very bad)
56. Cosmia - Joanna Newsom
55. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed paedophilia...AAA!
54. Concrete Angel - Martina McBride paedophilia...ugh.
53. Try The Little Girl - John Michael Montgomery (Christian view point)
52. Seventeen - Nicole Wray (She was just 17, You all know what I mean.)
51. "Do You Wanna Touch Me? - Gary Glitter (Do I not want to? Let me see…)
50. Art Lover - Lambchop (achieve or avoid)

edit Top 40

49. Mona Lisa - Slick Rick (mmm…)
48. "Baby It's Cold Outside" - Dean Martin & Doris Day (UGH!!)
47. "Summer Nights" - Olivia Newton John & John Travolta (Musicals are zany like that.)
46. "Brown Sugar" - Rolling Stones
45. "Father Figure" - George Michael (So that's off putting.)
44. "Maggie May" - Rod Stewart (Who knows why Rod Stewart does anything?)
43. "My Sharona" - The Knack
42. "Young Girl" - Gary Puckett
41. "Possession" - Sarah McLachlan
40. Work It - Missy Elliot

edit Top 30

39. Date Rape - Sublime
38. Urge To Kill
37. Parents Just Don't Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince (Sure, sure.)
36. Cherry Pie - Warrant
35. I Love Rock N' Roll - Joan Jett (We do too!)
34. Sweet Little Sixteen - Chuck Berry (She was just sixteen, eh?)
33. Into The Night - Benny Mardones
32. KKK Bitch - Body Count (Ice-T alludes to falling in love with Tipper Gore's two 12-year-old nieces.)
31. "Redemption Song" - Bob Marley
30. "Hungry Eyes" - Eric Carmen

edit Top 20

29. Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner - The Dresden Dolls (They wouldn't still be in contact if she had told anyone about the things that they'd done)
28. Claire - Gilbert O'Sullivan (incest)
27. Killer Eyes - The Kinks
26. Crazy - Patsy Cline (Freaky in a psychiatric way!)
25. Orgasm Addict - Buzzcocks
24. "Like a Virgin"
23. "Altered Boy" - Exodus (Speaks against sexual abuse.)
22. "Amy in the White Coat" - Bright Eyes
21. "Babysitter" - Morningwood (She should not be allowed to babysit.)
20. "Bad Reputation" - Luke Haines (About Gary Glitter a former pop star who was convicted of sexually abusing minors.)

edit Bottom Top 10

19. "The Ballad of Jesus" - Messiah
18. "Young Boys" - Lords of Acid
17. "Uncle Salty" - Aerosmith
16. Tier - Rammstein
15. "Sullen Girl" - Fiona Apple
14. "Speak" - Greg Winkler
13. "A Question of Time" - Depeche Mode
12. "Prison Sex" - Tool
11. "Nieces' Pieces" - Xiu Xiu

edit Bottom Ten

10. "Necropedophile" - Cannibal Corpse (Sick just sick!)
9. "Panty Shot" - Mindless Self Indulgence
8."Brenda's Got a Baby" - 2pac
7."Alive" - Pearl Jam
6. "Cherry Lips" - Garbage
5. "Fixxxer" - Metallica
4. "Janie's Got a Gun" - Aerosmith
3. "Lolita" - Suzanne Vega
2. "Devil in a midnight mass"
Billy Talent. It is actually about paedophilia. A Paedophiliac priest.
1. "Mr. Tinkertrain"
Ozzy Osbourne. It is actually about paedophilia, and I only listened to it once and then had to have counselling...
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