Worst 100 Songs Referencing Paedophilia

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According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Songs referencing paedophilia ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

100. April Fools Jokes
99. Colours
98. Creatures to have sex with
97. Firefox extensions
96. Foods
95. Gifts to give a friend
94. Harry Potter Spin-offs
93. Inventions
92. Locations
91. LOL Cats
90. Make Out Songs
89. Moments to get a Boner
88. Money Making Schemes
87. Movies
86. Nonexistent Words
85. Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
84. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
83. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
82. Pick-up lines
81. Pokemon Cash-Ins
80. Porn Movies
79. Porn Stars
78. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77. Reasons to become a Christian
76. Reflections on 2005
75. Reflections on 2006
74. Reflections on 2007
73. Reflections on 2008
72. Reflections on 2009
71. Reflections on 2010
70. Reflections on 2011
69. Reflections on 2012
68. Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67. Remakes
66. Restaurants
65. Self Help Books
64. Sequels
63. Sexual Perversions
62. Short Poems
61. Sitcom Catchphrases
60. Songs
59. Songs about Seagulling
58. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57. Songs To Have Sex To
56. Songs To Play At A Funeral
55. Spinoffs
54. Superheroes
53. Things About the '00s
52. Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51. Things to do during Christmas
50. Things to Put In An IV
49. Things To Say In Court
48. Things to Say in the Workplace
47. Things to say on a First Date
46. Toys
45. TV Programs
44. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43. Video Game Movies
42. Video Game Systems
41. Ways of Being a Dick
40. Ways To Be Castrated
39. Ways to be Circumcized
38. Ways to Deliver Bad News
37. Ways to Die (Best)
36. Ways to Die (Worst)
35. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
34. Ways to Start a Novel
33. Ways to Win an Argument
32. Weapons
31. Worst Moments to Laugh
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Contents

edit Top Ten

100. "Two Little Boys"
- Antipodean bedtime classic from Rolf Harris.
99. " Little Girls"
- Oingo Boing.
98. "Girl, You'll be a Woman, Soon"
- Neil Diamond.
97. "Hot for Teacher"
- Van Halen recount their childhood memories.
96. "The Kids Are Alright"
- Pete Townsend and friends, remembered for the infamous accompanying videos.
95. "Sweet Child O' Mine"
- Guns N' Roses.
94. "Strange Little Girl"
- The Stranglers.
93. "I Got You Babe"
- Cher.
92. "Thriller"
- Michael Jackson. Just because.
91. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
- Charles Hasnovoice. Gallic lover of le petit femme.
90. "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl"
- Sonny Boy Williamson. Seriously.


edit Bottom 20

89. "All The Young girls Love Alice"
- Elton John. And Alice loves them back. Now she's in Wonderland...
88. "Rock Your Baby"
- George McCrae.
87. "Last Child"
- Aerosmith
86. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
- yeah, let's just say in the original it fuckin' well weren't a star what was getting 'twinkled'.
85. "Hot Child In The City"
- Nick Gilder -Not only does this seem to be about an underage whore, but the name Nick Gilder sounds like someone who'd be looking for underage whores!
84. "Sweet 17"
- The Babys - "She's got a mouth full of sticky stuff"
83. "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise"
- Judas Priest - Especially wrong when sang by a (gay) man completely dressed in leather!
82. "Wrong Way"
- Sublime - Lovely song about an obsession with a 15 year old hooker
81. "When I saw her standing there"
- The Beatles - She was just seventeen, eh?
80. "Christine"
- KISS - Just '16' hum Ace??

edit Bottom 70

79. Strokin' - Clearance Carter
78. "Aqualung"
- Jethro Tull - Creepy Bum with a snottynose eying little girls with bad intent?
77. "I Kissed a Girl"
- Katy Perry - Katy Perry reveals her obsession with little girls.
76. "Cherry Man"
- The Wannadies - You have to see the video to fully understand.
75. "Love Child"
Deep Purple
74. "Save All Your Kisses For Me"
Some crappy seventies band who won at Eurovision with this. It ain't just kisses, pal...
73. "Throwaway Children"
Dio. "I'll keep you safe and warm, words she needs to hear - what they really mean is no more... little girl..." Scary!
71. "House of 1000 Voices"
Candlemass. Infanticide and other unnamed horrors, but we can guess mwhahahaha!!!!!
70. "Child"
Free. Bondage, paedophilia... AAARGH!

edit Top Sixty

69. "What's Your Name"
Lynyrd Skynyrd.
68. "Who are you?"
The Who....'well I really wanna know!' (actual lyrics)
67. "Rock the Cradle of Love"
- Billy Idol.
66. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
Savage Edge
65. All the Girls Love Alice - "But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen, And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean"
64. Another Brick in the Wall - "Hey, Teacher, Leave them kids alone!"
63. I Saw Her Standing There - "Well, she was just 17, You know what I mean."
62. 5:15 by the Who - "Girls of fifteen, sexually knowing, the ushers are sniffing, eau-de-cologning"
61. Make It Hot - Nicole Wray
60. Top Jimmy - Van Halen

edit Top Bottom 50

59. Is It Love - Pink
58. Daddy - Korn
57. Luca - Suzanne Vega (very bad)
56. Cosmia - Joanna Newsom
55. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed paedophilia...AAA!
54. Concrete Angel - Martina McBride paedophilia...ugh.
53. Try The Little Girl - John Michael Montgomery (Christian view point)
52. Seventeen - Nicole Wray (She was just 17, You all know what I mean.)
51. "Do You Wanna Touch Me? - Gary Glitter (Do I not want to? Let me see…)
50. Art Lover - Lambchop (achieve or avoid)

edit Top 40

49. Mona Lisa - Slick Rick (mmm…)
48. "Baby It's Cold Outside" - Dean Martin & Doris Day (UGH!!)
47. "Summer Nights" - Olivia Newton John & John Travolta (Musicals are zany like that.)
46. "Brown Sugar" - Rolling Stones
45. "Father Figure" - George Michael (So that's off putting.)
44. "Maggie May" - Rod Stewart (Who knows why Rod Stewart does anything?)
43. "My Sharona" - The Knack
42. "Young Girl" - Gary Puckett
41. "Possession" - Sarah McLachlan
40. Work It - Missy Elliot

edit Top 30

39. Date Rape - Sublime
38. Urge To Kill
37. Parents Just Don't Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince (Sure, sure.)
36. Cherry Pie - Warrant
35. I Love Rock N' Roll - Joan Jett (We do too!)
34. Sweet Little Sixteen - Chuck Berry (She was just sixteen, eh?)
33. Into The Night - Benny Mardones
32. KKK Bitch - Body Count (Ice-T alludes to falling in love with Tipper Gore's two 12-year-old nieces.)
31. "Redemption Song" - Bob Marley
30. "Hungry Eyes" - Eric Carmen

edit Top 20

29. Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner - The Dresden Dolls (They wouldn't still be in contact if she had told anyone about the things that they'd done)
28. Claire - Gilbert O'Sullivan (incest)
27. Killer Eyes - The Kinks
26. Crazy - Patsy Cline (Freaky in a psychiatric way!)
25. Orgasm Addict - Buzzcocks
24. "Like a Virgin"
23. "Altered Boy" - Exodus (Speaks against sexual abuse.)
22. "Amy in the White Coat" - Bright Eyes
21. "Babysitter" - Morningwood (She should not be allowed to babysit.)
20. "Bad Reputation" - Luke Haines (About Gary Glitter a former pop star who was convicted of sexually abusing minors.)

edit Bottom Top 10

19. "The Ballad of Jesus" - Messiah
18. "Young Boys" - Lords of Acid
17. "Uncle Salty" - Aerosmith
16. Tier - Rammstein
15. "Sullen Girl" - Fiona Apple
14. "Speak" - Greg Winkler
13. "A Question of Time" - Depeche Mode
12. "Prison Sex" - Tool
11. "Nieces' Pieces" - Xiu Xiu

edit Bottom Ten

10. "Necropedophile" - Cannibal Corpse (Sick just sick!)
9. "Panty Shot" - Mindless Self Indulgence
8."Brenda's Got a Baby" - 2pac
7."Alive" - Pearl Jam
6. "Cherry Lips" - Garbage
5. "Fixxxer" - Metallica
4. "Janie's Got a Gun" - Aerosmith
3. "Lolita" - Suzanne Vega
2. "Devil in a midnight mass"
Billy Talent. It is actually about paedophilia. A Paedophiliac priest.
1. "Mr. Tinkertrain"
Ozzy Osbourne. It is actually about paedophilia, and I only listened to it once and then had to have counselling...
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