Worst 100 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Songs referencing paedophilia ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.
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The All-Time 100 Worst:
- 100. April Fools Jokes
- 99. Bands
- 98. Books (General)
- 97. Cars
- 96. Children's Books
- 95. Colours
- 94. Computer Games
- 93. Cryptic Crossword Clues
- 92. Direct-to-Video Movies
- 91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
- 90. Evil Plans
- 89. Firefox extensions
- 88. Food
- 87. Football variants
- 86. Government Policies
- 85. Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series
- 84. Hybrid Animals
- 83. Inventions
- 82. Lists
- 81. Locations
- 80. LOL Cats
- 79. Make Out Songs
- 78. Money Making Schemes
- 77. Movies
- 76. Nonexistent Words
- 75. Numbers
- 74. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
- 73. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
- 72. Pick-up lines
- 71. Planets
- 70. Pokemon Cash-Ins
- 69. Porn Movies
- 68. Porn Stars
- 67. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
- 66. Reasons to become a Christian
- 65. Reflections on 2005
- 64. Reflections on 2006
- 63. Reflections on 2007
- 62. Reflections on 2008
- 61. Reflections on 2009
- 60. Rejected Harry Potter Novels
- 59. Remakes
- 58. Restaurants
- 57. Ringtones
- 56. Self Help Books
- 55. Sequels
- 54. Sexual Perversions
- 53. Short Poems
- 52. Sitcom Catchphrases
- 51. Songs
- 50. Songs about Seagulling
- 49. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
- 48. Songs To Have Sex To
- 47. Sonic Cash-ins and Characters
- 46. Spinoffs
- 45. Suicide Ideas
- 44. Superheroes
- 43. Things About the '00s
- 42. Things to do during Christmas
- 41. Things to Put In An IV
- 40. Things To Say In Court
- 39. Things to Say in the Workplace
- 38. Things to say on a First Date
- 37. Things to Stick your Dick in
- 36. Toys
- 35. TV Programs
- 34. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
- 33. Video Game Movies
- 32. Video Game Systems
- 31. Ways of Being a Dick
- 30. Ways to be Circumcized
- 29. Ways to Deliver Bad News
- 28. Ways to Die (Best)
- 27. Ways to Die (Worst)
- 26. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
- 25. Ways to Start a Novel
- 24. Ways to Win an Argument
- 23. Wonders of the World
- 22. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
- 21. Ways To Be Castrated
- 100. "Two Little Boys"
- - Antipodean bedtime classic from Rolf Harris.
- 99. "Rock the Cradle of Love"
- - Billy Idol.
- 98. "Girl, You'll be a Woman, Soon"
- - Neil Diamond.
- 97. "Hot for Teacher"
- - David Lee Roth and Van Halen recount their childhood memories.
- 96. "The Kids Are Alright"
- - Pete Townsend and friends, remembered for the infamous accompanying videos.
- 95. "Sweet Child O' Mine"
- - Guns N' Roses.
- 94. "Strange Little Girl"
- - The Stranglers.
- 93. "I Got You Babe"
- - Sonny and Cher.
- 92. "Thriller"
- - Michael Jackson. Just because.
- 91. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
- - Charles Hasnovoice. Gallic lover of le petit femme.
- 90. "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl"
- - Sonny Boy Williamson. Seriously.
- 89. "All The Young girls Love Alice"
- - Elton John. And Alice loves them back. Now she's in Wonderland...
- 88. "Rock Your Baby"
- - George McCrae.
- 87. "Last Child"
- - Aerosmith
- 86. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
- - yeah, let's just say in the original it fuckin' well weren't a star what was getting 'twinkled'.
- 85. "Hot Child In The City"
- - Nick Gilder -Not only does this seem to be about an underage whore, but the name Nick Gilder sounds like someone who'd be looking for underage whores!
- 84. "Sweet 17"
- - The Babys - "She's got a mouth full of sticky stuff"
- 83. "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise"
- - Judas Priest - Especially wrong when sang by a (gay) man completely dressed in leather!
- 82. "Wrong Way"
- - Sublime - Lovely song about an obsession with a 15 year old hooker
- 81. "When I saw her standing there"
- - The Beatles - She was just seventeen, eh?
- 80. "Christine"
- - KISS - Just '16' hum Ace??
- 79. "Little Girls"
- - Oingo Boingo
- 78. "Aqualung"
- - Jethro Tull - Creepy Bum with a snotty nose eying little girls with bad intent?
- 77. "I Kissed a Girl"
- - Katy Perry - Katy Perry reveals her obsession with little girls.
- 76. "Cherry Man"
- - The Wannadies - You have to see the video to fully understand.
- 75. "Love Child"
- Deep Purple
- 74. "Save All Your Kisses For Me"
- Some crappy seventies band who won at Eurovision with this. It ain't just kisses, pal...
- 73. "Throwaway Children"
- Dio. "I'll keep you safe and warm, words she needs to hear - what they really mean is no more... little girl..." Scary!
- 71. "House of 1000 Voices"
- Candlemass. Infanticide and other unnamed horrors, but we can guess mwhahahaha!!!!!
- 70. "Child"
- Free. Bondage, paedophilia... AAARGH!
- 69. "What's Your Name"
- Lynyrd Skynyrd.
- 68. "Who are you?"
- The Who....'well I really wanna know!' (actual lyrics)
[edit] Top Ten
- 2. "Devil in a midnight mass"
- Billy Talent.It is actually about paedophilia. A Paedophiliac priest.
- 1. "Mr Tinkertrain"
- Ozzy Osbourne. It is actually about paedophilia, and I only listened to it once and then had to have counselling...


