Worst 100 Songs Referencing Paedophilia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Songs referencing paedophilia ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

The All-Time 100 Worst:

100. April Fools Jokes
99. Bands
98. Books (General)
97. Cars
96. Children's Books
95. Colours
94. Computer Games
93. Cryptic Crossword Clues
92. Direct-to-Video Movies
91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
90. Evil Plans
89. Firefox extensions
88. Food
87. Football variants
86. Government Policies
85. Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series
84. Hybrid Animals
83. Inventions
82. Lists
81. Locations
80. LOL Cats
79. Make Out Songs
78. Money Making Schemes
77. Movies
76. Nonexistent Words
75. Numbers
74. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
73. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
72. Pick-up lines
71. Planets
70. Pokemon Cash-Ins
69. Porn Movies
68. Porn Stars
67. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
66. Reasons to become a Christian
65. Reflections on 2005
64. Reflections on 2006
63. Reflections on 2007
62. Reflections on 2008
61. Reflections on 2009
60. Rejected Harry Potter Novels
59. Remakes
58. Restaurants
57. Ringtones
56. Self Help Books
55. Sequels
54. Sexual Perversions
53. Short Poems
52. Sitcom Catchphrases
51. Songs
50. Songs about Seagulling
49. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
48. Songs To Have Sex To
47. Sonic Cash-ins and Characters
46. Spinoffs
45. Suicide Ideas
44. Superheroes
43. Things About the '00s
42. Things to do during Christmas
41. Things to Put In An IV
40. Things To Say In Court
39. Things to Say in the Workplace
38. Things to say on a First Date
37. Things to Stick your Dick in
36. Toys
35. TV Programs
34. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
33. Video Game Movies
32. Video Game Systems
31. Ways of Being a Dick
30. Ways to be Circumcized
29. Ways to Deliver Bad News
28. Ways to Die (Best)
27. Ways to Die (Worst)
26. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
25. Ways to Start a Novel
24. Ways to Win an Argument
23. Wonders of the World
22. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
21. Ways To Be Castrated

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100. "Two Little Boys": - Antipodean bedtime classic from Rolf Harris.
99. "Rock the Cradle of Love": - Billy Idol.
98. "Girl, You'll be a Woman, Soon": - Neil Diamond.
97. "Hot for Teacher": - David Lee Roth and Van Halen recount their childhood memories.
96. "The Kids Are Alright": - Pete Townsend and friends, remembered for the infamous accompanying videos.
95. "Sweet Child O' Mine": - Guns N' Roses.
94. "Strange Little Girl": - The Stranglers.
93. "I Got You Babe": - Sonny and Cher.
92. "Thriller": - Michael Jackson. Just because.
91. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls": - Charles Hasnovoice. Gallic lover of le petit femme.
90. "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl": - Sonny Boy Williamson. Seriously.
89. "All The Young girls Love Alice": - Elton John. And Alice loves them back. Now she's in Wonderland...
88. "Rock Your Baby": - George McCrae.
87. "Last Child": - Aerosmith
86. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star": - yeah, let's just say in the original it fuckin' well weren't a star what was getting 'twinkled'.
85. "Hot Child In The City": - Nick Gilder -Not only does this seem to be about an underage whore, but the name Nick Gilder sounds like someone who'd be looking for underage whores!
84. "Sweet 17": - The Babys - "She's got a mouth full of sticky stuff"
83. "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise": - Judas Priest - Especially wrong when sang by a (gay) man completely dressed in leather!
82. "Wrong Way": - Sublime - Lovely song about an obsession with a 15 year old hooker
81. "When I saw her standing there": - The Beatles - She was just seventeen, eh?
80. "Christine": - KISS - Just '16' hum Ace??
79. "Little Girls": - Oingo Boingo
78. "Aqualung": - Jethro Tull - Creepy Bum with a snotty nose eying little girls with bad intent?
77. "I Kissed a Girl": - Katy Perry - Katy Perry reveals her obsession with little girls.
76. "Cherry Man": - The Wannadies - You have to see the video to fully understand.
75. "Love Child": Deep Purple
74. "Save All Your Kisses For Me": Some crappy seventies band who won at Eurovision with this. It ain't just kisses, pal...
73. "Throwaway Children": Dio. "I'll keep you safe and warm, words she needs to hear - what they really mean is no more... little girl..." Scary!
71. "House of 1000 Voices": Candlemass. Infanticide and other unnamed horrors, but we can guess mwhahahaha!!!!!
70. "Child": Free. Bondage, paedophilia... AAARGH!
69. "What's Your Name": Lynyrd Skynyrd.
68. "Who are you?": The Who....'well I really wanna know!' (actual lyrics)