Worst 100 Ringtones of All Time

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100. April Fools Jokes
99. Bands
98. Books (General)
97. Cars
96. Children's Books
95. Colours
94. Computer Games
93. Cryptic Crossword Clues
92. Direct-to-Video Movies
91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
90. Evil Plans
89. Firefox extensions
88. Food
87. Football variants
86. Government Policies
85. Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series
84. Hybrid Animals
83. Inventions
82. Lists
81. Locations
80. LOL Cats
79. Make Out Songs
78. Money Making Schemes
77. Movies
76. Nonexistent Words
75. Numbers
74. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
73. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
72. Pick-up lines
71. Planets
70. Pokemon Cash-Ins
69. Porn Movies
68. Porn Stars
67. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
66. Reasons to become a Christian
65. Reflections on 2005
64. Reflections on 2006
63. Reflections on 2007
62. Reflections on 2008
61. Reflections on 2009
60. Rejected Harry Potter Novels
59. Remakes
58. Restaurants
57. Ringtones
56. Self Help Books
55. Sequels
54. Sexual Perversions
53. Short Poems
52. Sitcom Catchphrases
51. Songs
50. Songs about Seagulling
49. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
48. Songs To Have Sex To
47. Sonic Cash-ins and Characters
46. Spinoffs
45. Suicide Ideas
44. Superheroes
43. Things About the '00s
42. Things to do during Christmas
41. Things to Put In An IV
40. Things To Say In Court
39. Things to Say in the Workplace
38. Things to say on a First Date
37. Things to Stick your Dick in
36. Toys
35. TV Programs
34. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
33. Video Game Movies
32. Video Game Systems
31. Ways of Being a Dick
30. Ways to be Circumcized
29. Ways to Deliver Bad News
28. Ways to Die (Best)
27. Ways to Die (Worst)
26. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
25. Ways to Start a Novel
24. Ways to Win an Argument
23. Wonders of the World
22. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
21. Ways To Be Castrated


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The factual accuracy of this article is absolutely indisputable.

Who are you going to trust: this uncyclopedia article, or your lying eyes?

According to Crazy Frog's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Ringtones ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* Crazy Frog does not care to count this list too closely, and viewers are wise not to criticise amphibian numeration policy.

116. Nanananaa - The Kaiser Cheifs. Seriously.
115. Those retarded big brother 9 ringtones
114. Tune from the "Funeral March"
113.AAAAAAAAA!
112. Asthma
Like 'Heavy Breathing', but with a bit more wheeze
111. Power Cut
Doesn't last long
110. Diahrhea
You phone going off in the bathroom couldn't possibly gross more people out.
109. Vomiting
Wait, yes it can!
108. Troubled pregnancy
Making Pregnant Women feel bad.
107. Satanic rantings of Osama Bin Laden 
People nearby will hit the floor.
106. Fellatio sucking noise 
Uncomfortable for everyone except whores.
105. Baby in a blender
3 optional settings.
104. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world....."
103. (eerie voice)
"The voices told me to clean the guns..."
102. Cockring
A strong "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" at full volume makes you the instant centre of attention at any cockfighting ring.
101. Theme from Mork and Mindy
100. Wet fart
Follow through in style! Only available in monofonic version.
99. Dick van Dyke
"Cor blimey, sheila"
98. Blue Whale song
Only available in realistic volume version.
97. Heart attack
Infectious ringtone is what buyers of this ringtone say.
96. Ricky Gervais' Monkey Dance
95. Billy Jean
Blocks calls from your lover
94. "FUCK YOU!" 
You can almost hear the last seconds of your life ticking down.
93. 1953 F.A. Cup Final
Full coverage of Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers with match commentary by Kenneth Wolstenholme.
92. Toilet flushing
Hilarious!
91. John Major
"Oh, yes!"
90. "You have two cows!"
...and one amazing ringtone!
89. Kelly Clarkson swearing profusely
(XXX!)
88. Princess Diana car crash
87. Richard and Judy
86. Approaching footsteps
85. Paris Hilton sex tape
Available to subscribers only!
84. Liquor store robbery gone wrong
83. George Bush blunder 1
"Mah fellow Arabians"
82. Retirement Home
"Wherf muh teef? *cough*"
81. Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah
80. Milk Bottles clinking
79. Irritating McDonalds jingle
"I'm lovin' it"
78. Ron Jeremy climaxing
oh oh UHHHhhnn!!
77. Coldplay - Clocks
Zzz!!
76. Annoying neighbour
(very, VERY annoying)
75. Dripping Tap
Guaranteed to cause insomnia!
74. "D'oh!"
Classic Homer Simpson line!
73. Tumbleweed
72. Larry the Cable Guy farts.
71. Microsoft Office Paper clip
Brings back memories!
70. Echo
Echo!!
69. "Dude, where's my car?"
68. Elton John singing the word "cum"
67. Dog being shot
Hilarious!
66. Television static
65. Pin dropping
64. "There's a lion behind you!"
63. Jamie Oliver moaning
62. Child falling over Niagra Falls
5.1 surround sound!
61. Dentist's drill
60. Manical laughter
Infectious!
59. 1987 Tory Party conference
58. Car Alarm
(20 mins)
57. Splitting headache
56. Foghorn
Realistic volume!
55. "You've got cancer"
Hilarious!
54. Kitten huffing noises
53. Bomb ticking
52. Flashback noise
51. Swedish Chef
Bork!
50. Burp!
49. Eastenders
"You slag!"
48. 47
46. Big Bird telling everyone to fuck off
(XXX!)
45. George Bush blunder 2
"Ich bin ein Nazi!"
44. Heavy Breathing
Huuuuuh Haaaaaaah HHHuuuuuuuuh
43. X-Ray machine
(vision only)
42. 2000 unsold mobile phones ringing in an empty warehouse
41. "Timber!"
(Not Justin Timberlake)
40. Justin Timberlake
"I'm lovin' it"!
39. Walt Disney racial slur
38. Scathing remarks about you and your friends
37. Beard rustling
36. Michael Moore reciting the alphabet backwards
35. Self destruct warning
Run!
34. Oscar Wilde
33. "Let me just say this about that"
32. 9/11
31. Call from your mother
Don't forget to wash behind your ears!
30. Voice of God
Arthuuuur Arthuuuur.
29. Premature ejaculation
Embarrassing!
28. Lynyrd Skynyrd
(sinister backwards messages)
27. Angry doormouse
Guaranteed to scare people
26. Pentium jingle
25. Theme from The Dambusters
24. Genital warts
(itching only)
23. "You noob!"
22. Harmonica being played badly
(very badly)
21. Emphysema
20. Italian National Anthem
Fatboy Slim remix
19. Bee
BzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZzZzz.
18. Plane crash
17. Britney Spears breastfeeding
Oh, baby, baby!!
16. Polystyrene rubbing against blackboard
Annoy your friends!
15. Christopher Eccleston
"You fucking cunt!"
14. Death March (Also Known As Anything by Shostakovich)
13. "What'chu talkin' about, Willis?"
12. Gunfire
11. The first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan
10. Dr. Who themetune
Spooky!
Can't argue wit dat!
9. Sneezing fit
8. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky; Try to take over the world"
7. Firework exploding in your ear
6. Baby crying all fucking night
Really lasts all fucking night. Send it to your enemies!
5. 10 o' clock news
With Trevor McDonald!!
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Who is your daddy?"
3. Awkward Silence
2. The entire Christian Bale rant. Even if you answer the call, it just keeps going.
1. Crazy Frog
Jacques Chirac loses it!
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