Worst 100 Make Out Songs of All Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

You're listening to WILDE, Uncyclopedia Smooth Jazz and easy listening. It's 15:26 and we're going to play down the list of the Worst 100 Make Out songs of all time. That's right folks sit back and relax as these songs will surely take you out of the mood. So sit back, and relax with your lady here on WILDE.

Contents 1 The List 1.1 150-112 1.2 51-111 1.3 1-50

[edit] The List

[edit] 150-112

123 Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer

Sounds kinda romantic until you hear the song. Probably the most perverted song ever written.

122 Let´s Twist Again - Pinky and Perky

Sick in every possible way, if your friend likes this song, pull the lever and go immediatley.

121 I Kill Children - Dead Kennedys

She might get a bit spooked by lyrics like "God told me to skin you ALIVE", and "Ever wanted to die? Of course you have".

120 Kiss Me I´m Shitfaced - Dropkick Murphys.

119. I Hate You - The Monks

Somehow i don´t find "I hate you with a passion baby" very romantic.

118. Goodbye to Romance - Ozzy Osbourne

I think you can work out why.

117. Country Girl - Black Sabbath

Ronnie, what's wrong with being from the country? The country's not a 'nether world' you know...

116. That one about being sixteen by Neil Sedaka. It's really bloody creepy.

115. Eat Your Heart Out - Dio

114. Bitch School - Spinal Tap 

Unless she's really, really into that kind of thing...

113. Hair of the Dog - Nazareth 

Do you really want to let her think you are a 'son of a bitch'?

112. It's All Tears (Drown in this Love) - H.I.M.

Two outcomes - a) the girl will freak out and run, b) the girl will want VILLE VALO to rip her heart apart. Either way, not good...

[edit] 51-111

111. I´m the Only Gay Eskimo - Corky & The Juice Pigs

110. Teenage Lust - MC5

109. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

108. Police Truck- Dead Kennedys

A song about beating up and raping whores...

107. You´re gonna kill that girl- Ramones

Might arouse some suspicion.

106. Chainsaw Gutsfuck- [Mayhem]

Self Explanitory

105. Rebel Prince- |Rufus Wainwright|

He wants his master to "rid his dirty mind of all of its preciousness." Sexy.

104. The Penis Song - Momus

"Obsessively, compulsively, it only wants one thing: to fill your chosen orifice with ropes of pearly string..."

103. Love, Hate, Love, - Alice In Chains

"I want to peel the skin from your face" ain't exactly appropriate for a romantic moment.

102. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag - Anal Cunt

101. I Just Had Rough Sex With My Cat - Edwin Spearcouch

Self-explanatory.

100a. The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

As if calling her a bitch wasn't bad enough, why do you have an Elton John song and a GIRLfriend. I certainly don't...

100. YMCA - the Village People

Just not the type of song you want your girlfriend to know you have.

99. The Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash

"And it burns, burns, burns" is not the best lyric to hear, especially if you suspect your partner of having an STD

98. So What - the Anti-Nowhere League

http://www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html Just look at these lyrics. . . ]

97. Rocketman - William Shatner

96. The I Love You Song from Barney

And you are how old?

95. If You Want to be Happy - Jimmy Soul

This song is especially bad if you are having a romantic evening with your wife.

94. Limbo

How low can you go?

93. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-Alot

For some reason, women don't like to hear about why you like big butts.

94. Everyone Has Aids - D.V.D.A.(Matt Stone and Trey Parker)

93. I Want To Rape You - Spinal Fuck

No comment.

92. I Got Crabs(And You Do Too!) - Eselfick

91. Sorry Babe, But I Got Yellow Fever - User:Sic_one

90. Too Drunk to Fuck - The Dead Kennedys

89. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa

88. I want to break free - Queen

Not a good way to show your love...unless your a child under Michael Jackson, in which case its perfect

87. We are the Champions - Queen

No girl likes to be bragged about plus she might be a bit spooked about you referencing yourself in the plural.

86. The Way You Do The Things You Do - The Temptations

"Listen to the lyrics - they are all a bunch of back-handed insults. For instance : "You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle". Consider the amount of lumens that a candle lets out. That ain't nothing compared to a light bulb or the sun. So, essentially, she barely brightens up your life. Even worse - "If good looks were minutes, you know you could have been an hour." That'll get her hot. Yeah, considering that there are 24 hours in a day, and the average amount of days a person will live, she's only worth 1/24 of a day in terms of good looks. So, she doesn't brighten up your life a lot and is a potential fire hazard, and she's really ugly. Then consider this, she gets compared to being a school-book (what girl doesn't like being compared to a book that everyone hates) and a crook. Not very loving."

85. Heartlight - Neil Diamond.

84. Come On and Dance with Wags The Dog - The Wiggles

83. Michael - Franz Ferdinand

It's not the best time to get out of the closet, is it?

82. Fuck me Jesus - Marduk

This is even worse if your girlfriend is religious. (but not actually as bad as having a religious girlfriend)

81. First I Look At The Purse - J. Geils Band

80. The Magnificent Organ (album) - E. Power Biggs

79. Sleep In My Piss - GG Allin

78. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. - Tammy Wynette

77. Havin' My Baby - Paul Anka

76. Dive! Dive! Dive! - Bruce Dickinson

75. Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica

"Here are the lyrics if you're not convinced"

74. Beat It - Michael Jackson

"It just seems wrong. . . ."

73. Book-on-tape - Learning Business Spanish

"Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? ¿Yendo usted al desayuno halagador? " "Yeah, that'll get her hot."

72. Lick my tiny willie bitch - Anal Cunt.

"Self Explanitory"

71. Die, Die My Darling - The Misfits

70. She Rides - Danzig

Unless you have managed to find a dominatrix or a girl really into that kind of thing. Or really into Danzig - there are actually quite a few.

69. Into the Coven - King Diamond

68. Lick My Bowels - Shitfucker

"Not exactly a turn-on"

67. Mechanix - Megadeth

"Said you wanted to get your order filled, made me shiver when I put it in"

66. Use Your Head - Overkill

65. Mouth For War - Pantera

64. Raining Blood - Slayer

"That would be a very messy situation"

63. Die Hard - Venom

62. Fear, Part One - Paul Di'Anno's Battlezone

"Brutal and cruel, another hard beating, the pleasure of hearing you cry"

61. Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin

60. I Won't Pay Your Price - Motorhead

59. Every Song Ever Done By... - Morrissey

"Best lyricist ever? Yer maw! 'You have never been in love until you see the stars reflect in the reservioirs.' All he's doing is trying to find a word that fits with the last. "Irish Blood, English Heart, this is what i'm made of'. Cool mate! Fantastic! Again, shite lyrics with all these tight-jeaned arsebandits pretending to be English shouting "MORRISSEY!" eating this shit up.

58. Mark is the ultimate sexanator - Mark

57. Angry Bryce Man - Bryce

"Bryce is the angriest fuck ever"

56. Unholy Confessions-Avenged Sevenfold

55. Severed-Mudvayne

"I divorce the thoughts of you In love with me... I'm divorcing every motherfucking thing..."

54. Candy Man Can- Willy Wonka

53. I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass - Blink 182

she will find out regardless

52. lets make out - does it offend you yeah?

51. Anything by GG Allin. ' http://www.plyrics.com/g/ggallin.html look at the lyrics if you don't believe me

50. Wonderboy - Tenacious D

The absolute last song any woman wants to hear you sing along to! (ESPECIALLY DURING LOVE HOUR!)

49. Tainted Love - Marylin Manson

Unless you're making out with a horny emo, it's strongly advised not to play this number.

[edit] 1-50

50. In Soviet Russia, crabs catch you! - The Soviet Russian Royal Marching Band

49. Cradle of Love - Billy Idol

Nothings says i love you like pedophilia.

48. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex

Nothing says I love you like a song with barnyard animal sounds in it.

47. Bounce - system of a down

Unless you want a song about a gang bang then keep away from this

46. I Sent A Thank You Card To The Guy Who Raped You- Anal Cunt

45. The "Jeopardy" think music-Merv Griffin

Inspires you to say things like "What is your tongue tastes so good!" and "What is could you please take your shirt off?" Come on, people, it just sounds wrong! And no one makes out on the show!

44. Sussudio - Phil Collins

This conjures up visuals from the movie "American Psycho"

43. Tempted - Squeeze

Ooo baby, your sister is hot

42. The Break-up Song - Greg Kihn Band

41. You're Really Ugly (But There's Nobody Cute Around) - Strong Bad

40. Oops...I did it again-Britney Spears

Oops...I forgot the condoms! Do you mind getting an STD?

39. Funky Cold Medina - Tone-Loc

This song is wrong...so very, very, wrong.

38. Burn in My Light- Mercy Drive

Again burning not such a good thing and don't tell the one your with "I'm going to take what's mine!" or "Nothing is going to change what you've done to me!"

37. I'm Keeping Your Poop - Hayseed Dxixie

Not something you'd want her to know about!

36. Suck my dog's dick - Wesley Willis

35. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer

You had to ruin her fun, didn't you?

34. Sexicutioner - GWAR

"Give-a to me the 'golden shower'."

33. I lit your baby on fire - Anal cunt

32. Do I Creep You Out? - "Weird Al" Yankovic (a.k.a. Wired Al Yoinkivich)

32.5 You're Pitiful - Weird Al Yankovic

31. Fuck Like a beast - W.A.S.P.

Nothing quite as fucked up, unless your girlfriend likes animal porn...

30. Whos Your Daddy - Lordi

"Another Rape-Tastic song about rape by the most rapin' rapetastic band ever!

29. Beeswax - Nirvana

Errrm...I don't really think she'd like to know you've got your "diddly spayed".

29.5 Rape Me - Nirvana

29.55 I wanna love you

30. Best of You - Foo Fighters this song's about cheating!!!!!

28. You Shook Me All Night Long-AC/DC

She was a fast machine is really inappropriate for the moment.

27. Date Rape - Sublime

26. I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.

You're not supposed to tell her!

25. I Used To Love Her - Guns N' Roses

"I used to love her but I had to kill her"

24.9. Anything Goes - Guns'n'Roses "panties round your knees with your arse in debris... Tied up tied down... Be my rubbermade baby and we can do it all"

24.8. It's So Easy - Guns n Roses "Turn around bitch I got a use for you."

24.7. Locomotive - Guns n Roses... I think you get the picture about Guns...

24. The Estrus March - The Tempora Equinox

23. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

Well, if it's lesbian sex it's okay, I guess...

22. I Fuck The Dead - Three Sixes

Hmm... Well, probably not?

21. Group Sex - Circle Jerks

Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.

20. Jizz In My Pants - The Lonely Island

"I jizz right in my pants, every time you're next to me"

It will take about .24 seconds after the name of the title is said for your girl to realize that you're prostate and testis have minds of their own. Either that or she, like you, will realize how fucking hilarious the song is.

19. Any Weird Al polkas - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Unless your already having wild sex.

18. Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin

17. Fuck you Gently- Tenacious D

16. I Want You Dead- Kicked in the Head

15. How Much is that Doggie In The Window - Patti Page

14. Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask - Frank Zappa

Seriously, in a blink of an eye, your girl is gone...

13. He Fell in Love with a Stormtrooper - Tank

My girlfriend isn't a gun-toting lump of plastic, is yours?

12. Take Me Home - John B

http://www.shaolintiger.com/2004/10/ Need I explain why not?

11. Orgasmatron - Motorhead

http://www.lyricshits.com/Sepultura-lyrics/Orgasmatron--song-lyrics.htm Check out the lyrics to see why. If any guy or girl ever plays this for a make out song, RUUUNNN!!!!

10. Meat Hook Sodomy - Cannibal Corpse

Read the lyrics. http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/cannibalcorpse/butcheredatbirth.html#1 Now that has gotta hurt, lots!

09. Fucked With A Knife - again Cannibal Corpse. No thanks.

08. Stripped, Raped And Strangled - Okay, anything by Cannibal Corpse is bad. We get it already.

07. Anything by GWAR

06. Unker Fuka - Terrance and Philip

05. I'm an Asshole - Dennis Leary

(Although I'm sure she'll find that out soon enough, providing she hasn't already)

04. Let me put my love into you - ACDC.

03. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song

02. I Cum Blood - Cannibal Corpse

A Few Examples of the lyrics:

"I need a live woman to fill with my fluid A delicate girl, to mutilate, fuck and kill"

"I pissed in her maggot filled asshole"

01. Anything by Rage Against The Machine.