Worst 100 Creatures To Have Sex With

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The top 100 worst creatures to have sex with in all kinds (i.e. Oral, anal, etc.). There are important reasons not to have sex with these creatures, and some are too horrible to explain. It all happened one day when a friend of mine experimented by having sex with different creatures. Since that tragic incident on, I listed the most important creatures not to have sex with.

You may want to use precautions when having sex with any of the following creatures:

Contents 1 100-91 2 90-81 3 80-71 4 70-61 5 60-41 6 40-21 7 20-11 8 10-01

edit 100-91

100. Dragon

Though, how large they are, they can still rip out your man-part

99. Dinosaur

Very similar to dragons, except older!

98. Wooly mammoth

If you're lucky enough to get through all that hair without getting squashed. But I'm not having sex with those ugly elephant things anyways.

97. Balloon Animals

Ever seen a fully-expanded balloon boner?

96. Skunk

Filth be upon you for thee who hump thy noble skunk

95. Pony

Ask princess molestia

94. Wild ass

They shit all over you

93. Raptors with chainsaws

It is written... Only Leatherface can hump these things.

92. Humpback whale

A creature with a name that makes it a way too obvious subject

91.1. Osama Bin Laden

Luckily he's dead... Or IS HE?

edit 90-81

90. Leatherface

And what do you think you're doing?

89. Flea

Try humping it without squashing it.

88. Jollibee

Molest

87. Zombie Ladies

If you did, congratulations! You got AIDS, and you are going to give birth to a corpse.

86. Jew

Like Abraham

85. Nazi

Like Hitler

84. american

all of them they are overweight

83. Elmo

How do you procreate with a puppet anyways?

82. Yourself

If you are flexible enough

81. Pinkie Pie

She might "cupcake" you out.

Do not believe. She's a psychopath (Or a cannibal).

edit 80-71

80. pikachu

you will be shocked

79. Twilight Sparkle

She will horn drill you

78. Camper

You know the reason why they roast weinies on a stick? Because your's came along.

77. George Bush

Burning Bush

76. Black hole

If you did get your cock in there, you may never see it again!

75. Sunni Daze

That horrifying prick

74. Black guy

Like Blu Mankuma

73. Kangaroo

You will suffer excruciating pain from an epic crotch-kick.

72. Your girlfriend's brother's son after taking a shit without wiping his ass

Sounds more horrible than you think

71. Any girl who watches Twilight

Anyone who makes out of them turned into a mother

edit 70-61

70. Your Dad

Way worse than 72

69. Narwhal

Unless you want a dick kebab

68. Anteater

Do you really feel safe being naked near a creature with a tongue like that!?

67. Bill Gates

You will become a very rich man

66.6. Antichrist

Just think about it

65. Squidward

He has a dick for a nose. Why else do you think he doesn't wear pants?

64. Electric eel

You may need a rubber condom, or a penis made of silicon

63. Griffins

I'm not procreating with those lion-bird things!

62. Peter Griffin

I take it back!

61. Zeus

Reason why Kratos wants revenge

edit 60-41

60. Grue

How can a man have sex with that?

59. a three-year old

Pedo, much?

58. Sarah Palin

NO.

57. Death

Once touched, never live again, even if its a virgin

56. Chief Man Who Dreams Of Sky

He's busy. Probably praying to his magical sky daddy

55. Bigfoot

Why make love with a big hairy monkey thing that doesn't exist?

54. Doctor Octagonapus

BLAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!

53. Mickey Mouse

Disney-style sex with a talking animal. Need I say more?

52. Cock

Although it's named after "Cock", it will surely give you bird flu.

51. Your son

What Zeus does often to Kratos.

50. Athena

"My beauty killed you"

49. The Foot

Silly filly, there's no hole in there

48. The Lava Monsters

Roasted Man-Stick Barbecue, best served hot

47. The school bully

Unless you're a jock.

46. Prostitute

Unless if trained

45. A hive of Killer Bees

Though normal bees are fine. I did it, and attracted many chicks with the biggest swoolen dick in the world. Maybe I'll do it again.

44. Human

Don't get me started there.

43. Chuck Norris

You touch it, you KICK it

42. The Doctor

See the number?

41. Murtaugh

He'll make a Karma Portal out of your dick for that

edit 40-21

40. Demons

They cause hell.

39. Glenn Quagmire

Don't bother. He'll have already raped you by the time you even think about it.

GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO

38. Imelda Marcos

Her shoes have the answer.

37. El Chupacabras

Not only will you have made it with a Mexican, but you'll have goat's blood all over you!

36. Rayquaza

It will use hyperbeam on ya, giving you a charred penis

35. Fidel Castro

He likes Cigars

34. Judas Iscariot

Since he betrayed Jesus Christ, he might do the same to you

33. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Mutated AIDS, STD, many other diseases

32. Freddy Mercury

He died of AIDS, you had sex with him, you got AIDS, die, end.

31. Albert Einstein

See #86

30. King Leonidas

TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL

29. Bull

Unless you want to be tossed and trampled like a crushed Caesar salad.

28. Me

THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US

27. Cthulhu

Tentacle rape, much?

26. Wild bush car

You'll be run over. D'uh!

25. Snapping turtle

Sounds painful, but not as bad as #24.

24. Shark

It not only won't give it back, but will then have a nice meal at your expense.

23. Piranha

Worse than sharks and snapping turtles combined.

22. Baby clown

I get nightmares thinking about it.

21. Jason Voorhees

Serial killer, request coitus, die, ???, PROFIT

edit 20-11

20. Pedobear

May give sensation and not discomfort if 91 years old above

19. Grandma

The older the ass, the filthier

18. ash ketchum

he is gay which explains why he never makes out with those pokemon girls

17. Rarity

ಠ3ಠ

16. Robotnik

snooPINGAS usual, I see?

15. Blackbeard

You wanna have sex with a pirate? I didn't think so.

14. Vikings

Way worse than pirates.

13. Walrus

You'll need an oxygen tube for this one

12. Sumo Wrestler

You'll need an oxygen tube for this one too

11. Goliath

David killed him, so if you want, then go assemble his body parts scattered all around the world... If you can, of course.

edit 10-01

10. Platypus

It's already two animals at once, and Nature doesn't need another freak.

09. Ferret

Or any other small furry bastard that climbs up your pants and bites off your balls.

08. Hillbillies

For anyone who got kidnapped by one and ended up getting raped inside a log cabin.

07. Things

No! Please Not Those Things!

06. Martians

I don't even wanna know where their privates are located.

05. Cannibal

May get hungry and mistake your dick for a vienna sausage.

04. Ganon

YOU DARE BRING LIGHT INTO MY LAIR? YOU MUST DIE!

03. A guy who looks like you

Like having sex with yourself but worse

02. Porcupine

Do I need to explain why?

01. Justin Bieber

Holy Shit! Who on the planet would want to procreate with this creature?!