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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.


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UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

Wankel Cycle anim

Greetings devout follower! If you're reading this book, congratulations. You have taken the first step towards being cured of your "little problem." The first thing the reader must understand is this: If you truly wish to quit, it must be a decision. You cannot say, "oh, wouldn't it be nice if I no longer needed to wank four or five times a day," or "boy, it sure would be lovely if I had to spend less money on tissues and door locks;" you must DECIDE to stop masturbating. Only when you truly decide to stop masturbating and be cured of your problem can you be cured of your problem, and stop masturbating.



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The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Dickness is a side effect of being human.

~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.

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