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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.


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Jerry Falwell

Jerry Falwell portrait
“People have accused me of many things: racism, anti-Semitism, misogyny, intolerance, anti-Darwinism and anti-homosexualism [sic]. Well, I tell those people that there was someone else who was accused of things...our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I rest my case.”
~ Jerry Falwell on himself
“Can you pass the cream Jerry?”
~ Tinky Winky on Jerry Falwell

Jerry Lamon Falwell, Sr. (August 11, 1933 – May 15, 2007) was an American fundamentalist Christian pastor and televangelist. He was the founding pastor of the Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia in the Christian (big "C") nation of the United States of America. He founded Liberty University in 1971 and co-founded the Moral Majority in 1979.

Falwell led services at Thomas Road Baptist Church, a megachurch in Lynchburg, Virginia from 1956-2007. His Christ-centered leadership lead to the expansion of the church, with it eventually reaching gigachurch status, helped in no small part by the addition of a Putt-Putt for Jesus mini-golf course in 1961, a Christian-themed Holy Roller roller disco in 1977, and a Christian bookstore in 1984. He changed affiliations from the staunchly conservative Baptist Bible Fellowship International to the incredibly conservative Southern Baptist Convention after the BBFI failed to adequately condemn homosexuality, homosexuals, and the dirty things that the latter do to each other in public washrooms, nightclubs and Vermont, and ended his self-identification with fundamentalism in favor of evangelicalism, which has more things that are tax-exempt and the groupies have bigger hair. more...


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The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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If you don't agree with absolutely everything I say that means God hates you and you are going to Hell

~ Fred Phelps on Everyone.

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