World Youth Day
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[edit] Basic Idea
World Youth Day began when the Catholic Church, in it's hipocritical wisdom, decided that they had too much money. Instead of doing something mundane like helping the poor or sick, the Church decided it would be much more acceptable to throw themselves a multi-million dollar global orgy, celebrating how good the Church is and promoting the importance of giving to charity. The final mass of the Sydney World Youth Day was held at Randwick Racecourse; reputedly because it was the only place where it was legal to ride 3 year olds.
[edit] Naming Controversy
As it is a strictly Catholic festival, there has been much argument over why it is called "World Youth Day", instead of "World (Satanist) Youth Day", or the suggested "Self-Sodomy Festival". When asked why they had kept the name as World Youth Day, the Vatican noted "because everybody in the world is Catholic".
There was also a question of the limits to the term "youth". The festival is attended by people aged fourteen to thirty-five, and the general non-Catholic consensus is that youth ends at twenty-five. The Church, however, argues that youth is relative, as from the perspective of Church leaders, anybody under forty is a "Gosh Darned Scallywag".
A leading online Soviet automotive dictatorship has also highlighted the fact that World Youth Day goes for five (5) days, lending weight to claims that the festival's Global Naming Committee are, according to insiders, 'shit'.
[edit] Activities
While the mass and bible study are often well-advertised, several World Youth Day activities can only be discovered by those who are attending the event. Such activities include, but are not limited to:
- Free Massages
- Outdoor Cricket
- Ganja Circle
- Improv Fashion Show
- Catholic Youth Gang Bang (usually involving Michaela Williamson of Sydney, NSW)
- Open Bar
- Anal Smoke-Blowing
- Self-Sodomisation
- Hackey Sack
- Table Tennis
- Doing lines of blow off a hookers tits
- Fucking Sydney's traffic up
- Singing songs on the bus/train/plane like a massive Catholic fag
- Having the pope and/or George Pell hit on you
- Lighting mini crucifixes on fire
- Crucifying someone in the name of the lord
a hapless baby is stolen by the pope to quench his insatiable lust for virgin flesh
[edit] If I Can't Attend?
If you are unable to attend World Youth Day, there are numerous ways you could simulate the experience:
- Eat a sandwich in front of an Ethiopian child
- Tear up money in front of a poor person
- Get high and jump up and down to Christian Rock
- Eiffel Tower Michaela Williamson of Sydney, NSW
- Pledge your alliegience to a being you can't see or feel, but who seems to be cool with what you're doing
- Be a total prat, but hide behind the stigma that you are more virtuous than anybody else.
- Throw a "Global Love" party and only invite people who believe what you believe
[edit] Next one?
Well, the next one is in Madrid, Spain!
[edit] See Also
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