World Pimping Convention

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

A pimp convention (also pimpin' con or pimp con) is a convention of members of the pimp nation — people who are interested in the concept of Big Pimpin'. These conventions provide a place for hoes to meet their bosses, exchange ideas, transact business and engage in entertainment centered around this concept. Originating in Macedonia during the industrial revolution.


The Dealers Den at Cadillacz 'N' Pimp Canes 1997

Pimpin' conventions offer a range of volunteer-led programming, usually focusing on pornography, crafts, music and literature. Some raise money for charity, while others raise funds purely for their own bling collections. Attendees often dress up and wear artistic name badges for identification, though the majority bring Pimp Suits. They may also spend money on the work of amateur and professional artists, both directly and at auction.

Pimpin' conventions are often closed to public media, due to television and magazine coverage which implied the events were sexually oriented. As of 2007, some permit the local news media to attend, usually under close supervision.

edit Origin and growth

Pimpin' conventions started in mid-1960s with parties at popular Strip Clubs, such as Bill Clinton's summer home and Your Mom's house in the San Francisco Bay Area. Over time, these parties split off into conventions of their own, starting with Cadillacz 'N' Pimp Canes in 1989. Attendance at Pimp conventions has been growing, with the number of conventions, total attendance of all conventions and maximum size of a single convention all doubling over the period 2000–2006.

Pimp conventions sometimes start out as hoe-meets, where groups of bitches and hoes meet at a regular location, often on a scheduled basis. As the local community grows, these groups may put on events which attract dealer attention or significant pimp activity and then become recognized as fully-fledged brothels. Often times if no particular pimp claims authority a She-pimp will often take the reigns of the operation. This She-pimp will remain in control of the brothel until the next convening of pimps decides it's fate.

Other conventions spring up in the wake of the death of a significant pimp; for example, Caligula was murdered in 2004 following the final Cadillacz 'N' Pimp Canes. In order to keep his hoes in Southern Ontario, the OPAA or Ontario Pimpin' Association Annual Convention was formed.

edit Activities


A common event in the hoelympics, "Bitch Wrestling"

Convention programming includes presentations, panels, workshops and tutorials on pimp culture, from literature, fiction and pornography to science, technology and spirituality. The convention will often provide space for stand-up comedy routines by entertainers like Mr. T and Bob Dylan, many kinds of gaming, and role-playing sessions, as well as numerous Bling workshops and pornographic events.

Most conventions will feature some kind of a porn show, in which artists' work is displayed, often for direct purchase or auction during the convention. There will often be a Dealers Den where Token Black Guys and drug dealers and other people can sell their wares for a fee, and a Pimpin' Alley where individual pimps are given space for no fee or a token fee, usually on the condition that they only pimp asian hoes. Pimps may also trade hoes between each other using Pimp canes. Individual transactions are relatively small (usually around US$10-$50 for hoes or bitches, $10-$200 for fit women), but the total can approach US$100,000 at the largest events (excluding professional dealers).

Conventions with significant numbers of fursuiters may offer an event known as the prostitute games, bitch races, or hoelympics. These focus on feats of dexterity suited to multiple players in teams, such as dragging a sled filled with dollars or their pimps around a marked track, or racing back and forth while tethered to one another.

edit Attendees


A common hoe on display, this one went for $62 NZD

Attendees include some hoes offering products and services for sale to specific clientelle, and those who wish to buy them. Others come for the programming, or to meet friends or other pimps in general. Many attend for all of these reasons. Some later publish a con report detailing their experiences.

Fans may wear a full or partial clothing or none at all to express their identity and entertain others, though typically less than 15% of attendees bring bling valueing over $500,000 USD, and few of these wear it all the time. At Midwest Pimpfest 2006, 213 of 1441 attendees participated in the Pimp-suit Parade.

Attendees under the age of majority are commonly allowed to attend with a notarized parental permission slip or accompanied by an adult. Underage attendees are usually given a distinctive badge to allow staff and dealers to restrict access to mature content. Government-issued photo ID is usually required.

edit Timing and duration

Most pimp conventions take place over a weekend. Reasons for this include:

  • Most hoes would have to take a vacation from work to attend an event held during the work week.
  • Transportation costs are often lower for weekend travelers.
  • Hotels have few business travelers during the weekend, making it much easier to reserve a block of rooms for after-party purposes.

As pimp conventions have expanded, increased demand for programming has extended the hours covered, such that events many now include activities on Thursday and Friday, often extending late into the night. Saturday remains the busiest day, as most hoes must return home on Sunday. One-day passes are sometimes sold at a reduced price.

edit Token Black Guy Controversy

In 2007 the World Pimping Council decided to institute a rule limiting the number of Token Black Guys to a total of 30% of the total attendance. During the 2007 World Pimping Convention, Mr T, notorious fool pitier and well-known Token Black Guy most known for his token performance on the A-Team, was refused entry into the convention. The World Pimping Council first instituted the Token Black Guy limit when the convention was over-run by token black guys in 2006.

edit Media and public perception


Cutout from Dallas newspaper of two local pimps

One public perception — popularized by CSI — is that pimp conventions are only places for people to perform sexual acts with each other. In an article about pimps, John Madden described some hotel guests as "stunned", with some calling convention-goers "freaks", "sluts", and various derogatory terms. Some U.S. Army personnel present during the same convention described attendees as "a little unusual" and "people that have problems", while others considered the event "something nice to bring kids to.".

edit See also

Personal tools