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Today's Featured Article - Accident

Spdcamcrash

An accident is an undesirable event that could have been prevented with planning, intelligent management of circumstances, and swift action.

Scientists who study unintentional injury avoid using the term "accident" (in favour of the more precise terms "mishap" or "cock-up") and focus on factors that increase risk of severe injury and that reduce injury incidence and severity. This does not seriously reduce the incidence of accidents ("Don't Kill the Job!") but makes accidents more pleasant.

Accidents can be serious, like choking to death on a chicken nugget, or funny, like the accidental deployment of an air-bag when your car hits a speed bump. Accidents can be a trigger for new think tanks, new laws and new inventions, such as triply reinforced Depends. Accidents are also a good reminder that, despite the rhetoric, humans are, and will always be, stratospherically dumb.

Physical accidents include motor vehicle collisions, falls, touching something sharp/hot/electrical, ingesting poison, or having a deleted email from Hillary Clinton. (more...)

Recently featured: Accident

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Why?:I'm not sorry I ate your Unicorn, featured on 29 August 2013. See the featured version.
Luxembourg (city), featured on 29 August 2012. See the featured version.
John Belushi, featured on 29 August 2011. See the featured version.

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On this day...

Baphomet

August 29: International Androgynous Goat-People Observance Day

  • 328,987 BC - at 4:02pm Goats Evolve from Dolphins.
  • 240v AC- Electricity became the new fad in tribes.
  • 33 AD - St. John of Patmos has a wet dream.
  • 1189 - Ban Kulin wrote The Charter of Kulin, which was later banned.
  • 1490-something - Chet Columbus lands in Ohio.
  • 1862 - Second Battle of Bull Run. This time, Bruce Willis is brought in as lead actor in an effort to stimulate box office sales.
  • 1924 - The cheeseburger is invented in Cheeseburg, California
  • 1927 - Helen Keller is born but doesn't even notice the difference.
  • 1942 - In response to World War II, ham is invented. Winston Churchill proclaims it "One small step for man, one giant leap for breakfast".
  • 1942 - Famed restaurant the Grease Hut opens it doors for the first time, collectivly clogging arteries across the nation.
  • 1956 - In a remote corner of Canada, nothing happens.
  • 1972 - Pringles, the first tessellating potato snack, are invented in Leicester by mathematician Dr Julius Pringle in order to save storage space in his tiny kitchen.
  • 1999 - The War of 1812 is fought by several confused historians. Albert Einstein is the special guest referee. Soundtrack available from Arista. Shown worldwide on Pay-Per-View. Presented by Snickers. "Hungry? Why Wait?"
  • 2005 - The Gulf Coast experiences light rainshowers and a moderate breeze.
  • 2006 - The Antichrist comes, wearing a miniskirt.
  • 2008 - The individual presumed to be The Antichrist was in fact the new Republican Party publicity director. Seems they dress in similar fashion.

Today's featured picture

Gi-jew-movie

GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real.

Image Credit: RadicalX
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