Windows 2010/Windows Anytime Upgrade

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New windows

The Windows Anytime Upgrade logo shows that it will always try to sneak in its multi-hour setup when you least expect it. It is now seen posted outside a user's house to signal to thieves to take the computer.

Windows Anytime Upgrade allows you to completely fill your disk with random data whenever you feel like it, or Windows 2010 forces you to. Windows Anytime Upgrade does this using 100% Windows Live AJAX, the only scripting language with raw access to your hard disk. Windows 2010 claims random excuses to force you to start Windows Anytime Upgrade, these may include, but not limited to:

  • Presence of security software that prevents Microsoft from accessing your machine.
  • Actual work being accomplished uninterrupted for more than 10 minutes.
  • Your computer is hungry and needs to download win32_sandwichinstallerpatch_kb3049534934534523.exe from Microsoft to continue.
  • Checking to see if they have found a real use for Java yet.
  • Setup needs to connect to Microsoft to shut down your computer. Please open your most important work before continuing.

Windows Anytime Upgrade allows the user to change many options, including what is used to seed the random numbers that their hard disk will soon be filled with. Many users try to avoid using Windows Anytime Upgrade and even Windows Live AJAX altogether, for those users, there's Windows Live Torture, which attacks you at random using the USB Stabbing Device that came with your copy of Windows 2010. Many authorities don't like Windows Anytime Upgrade because when the MPAA tries to sue people, they just use Windows Anytime Upgrade to erase their hard disk.

edit Upgrade support

Microsoft's Techless Supportless lines are constantly flooded with requests (employees getting laughed by their friends), so they often can't answer all to complaints about destroyed warez collections from all their customers. We've put together this FAQ for you:

 Microsoft Techless Supportless lines

Q: What happened?
A: Nothing

Q: My computer doesn't work.
A: First, read AAAAAAAA, then shout about it at Windows.

Q: Now what?
A: Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid.

Q: That didn't help.
A: I don't know, go huff some kittens.

This page is part of the Microsoft Windows 2010 project. For more information, please see: User:Aldreneo/Windows 2010

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