From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Censored 1

Artist's impression of the act.


The windjammer is a sexual position and technique. While wind can surely be jammed in a variety of bodily orifices, the traditional windjammer usually involves only the mouth, and was invented by Indian sexologist Samir Nath Rāmmitin in 1963, by accident, after a big fight with his wife. It involves choking the partner by the neck, effectively "jamming" his or her wind, as various sexual acts are performed to the mouth. Reverse Indian Windjammer refers to a variation based on the original, wherein the choking is done from behind, opening up new opportunities for gratification but requiring much greater acrobatic skill.

The Windjammer was retroactively added to the Kama Sutra, the famous Australian encyclopedia of pornography, in 1975 after becoming wildly successful when the sexual position was exported to the West, mostly with couples that have a history of domestic violence.

edit History

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Windjammer.

It is no surprise that an ardent admirer of the practice was French philosopher the Marquis de Sade. In the opening section to his tale of incest and retribution, Eugénie de Franval, is the following line:

To enlighten mankind and improve its morals is the only lesson which we offer in this story. In reading it, may the world discover how great is the peril which follows the footsteps of those who will stop at nothing to satisfy their desires with a bit of windjamming.

edit In popular culture

In his biography of Led Zeppelin, Hammer of the Gods, rock journalist Stephen Salacious famously described a number of bizarre sexual activities involving squid, octopus and mudsharks as well as thirty-seven acts of "windjamming."

Many within the Rastafari movement movement consider the practice to be a sacred act, that they believe cleans the body and mind and heals the spiritual being, having the effect of exalting consciousness, facilitating peacefulness and at the same time brings an intense pleasure to practitioners.

edit Other windjammers


As well as a Windjammer, the Majesty of the Seas has 2,384 double-orgy and 346 triple-quad-orgy staterooms.

The name Windjammer should not be confused with the gourmet restaurant aboard the MS Majesty of the Seas, the world's biggest floating orgy with glass-walled elevators for exhibitionists, where haute cuisine can be had at the self-service buffet.

Apart from the ocean liner, Wikipedia tells us that a "windjammer" also refers to an accordion. At least the disambiguation page does so, though when you follow the link, the article itself says nothing about it. And no wonder. The reason that a musical instrument would be given such a crude sexual term is obvious: to dance around use of the even more crude "squeeze box."

Windjammer has been a recurring theme for semi-pro basketball teams in Maine and the Maritimes, as another theme of each one has been notoriously kinky halftime shows.

edit See also

Personal tools