Willy

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Free willy
FREE WILLY!!!
“FREE THE WILLY! lolz”
~ Bob Dylan on Willy
“Can I free my willy in you? ”
~ notcory

Willy (October 34, 1764 - September 6, 2006) is a killerwhale. He is plentiful in girth and length. Although not yet killed anyone, he was considered highly dangerous and was arrested and immediately sentenced to death row. Various earth scientists thought Willy was THE prophet and would teach us the Promised Land, so they started a campaign to Free Willy, they hired cute boys who sexually seduce politicians.

edit Early Life

Willy was bred under a full moon on October 34, 1764 in a sushi bar in Japan. He was instantly a fullgrown whale and those Japanese were so scared of him they called the police. The police fincuffed him and he was sent to the purple jelly police office:

Nakamura: "Oh my God, it's giant killeru whale. Make greito sushi!"

Takara: "No! Too much woruku. Bringu to porissu!"


5 minutes later...


Japanese porissu Offisseru: What's the ploblem?

Nakamura: Giant wairu looking angry!

Willy: No, I just wanted to make people not feel hungry!

porissu Offisseru: Tell that to the JUDGE!!!!!!!!

Willy: NOOoOOOOoooOOOOOOooOOOoOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!one11!!!!!!shift!!!!!!!!!!!!11111eleven111

porissu Offisseru: Yes.


By the Time of today, Willy is no longer awaiting death, and professors with big moustaches and no hair on the top of their heads tried,died and failed for the freedom of Willy.

edit Willy's Final moments.

Yes, willy is finally fucking dead. After a botched prison break planned by friend Jaws, Many porpoises,dolphins,sharks and other sea life lay dead as a worm on the inside told the local zoo of their plans. It was going well until they finally got past the electric fence of the Famous Death Row Prison and faced armed men. They were asked to stand down but the rebels pulled out weapons such as pufferfish and sea anenomes. the men opened fire and all were killed. Willy himself pulled out a hari kari knife and finished himself before being sedated.


edit Willy Strikes Back

Shortly before dying, Willy the Whale shot a massive white stream of hot, bodily fluid from his strangely miniture blow-hole. Due to the incredible force exerted through the ejacul- I mean expulsion, only made possible by 'The Omar' pump-action dildo embedded halfway up his rectum, the spurt managed to travel 0.00000034 the speed of light, crossing continents and landing into the "Monkey Magic" section of Taronga Zoo, in Sydney, Boglanland. In a stroke of dumb luck, the unidentified flying fluid dropped directly into Bonzi- a female chimpanzee's anus while she was bending underneath a tree log looking for her banana. Miraculously, she was fertilized, and Willy the Whale had prevailed once again in his evil quest for absolute homosexuality in the world. He had planted his evil seed.


edit Rise of Willy the Chimp

After months of speculation as to what caused the frantic, over-stressed behaviour of Bonzi, the answer finally came on a cold day on Friday the 13th. Scientists were marvelling over the female chimpanzee's appetite, they had given her 10 Ethiopian bananas in the past 5 minutes, yet she still seemed hungry, where were they going???? Suddenly, Bonzi's stomach bulged, her anus widened. POP came 10 bananas... And a damned, ugly anal-dwelling-butt monkey. The baby bore all of it's mother's chimp features, save for a small protuding blowhole on the top of it's head. It picked up a wooden club, with a cry of homosexuality that shattered glass and depleted the brain capacities of every living creature in the viscinity- "ITS CLUBBING TIME"

edit The Voyage Home

Willy Willy Willy wouldn't go home and the conclusion was reached that Willy, the king around town, wouldn't go home because Willy could not be pushed into going where Willy would not go. People had previously attempted to inform them of this, but with no success mostly due to failure to decrypt any of the messages past

"Little Willy, Willy won't Willy won't, Willy won't Little Willy, Willy won't Willy won't, Willy won't Little Willy, Willy won't Willy won't, Willy won't Little Willy, Willy won't Willy won't, Willy won't"

Uptown and downtown inhabitants were blown away by his style, where he was also laughing- very likely due to a lack of coherent attempts to return him home.

Later, a drinking game, a Star Trek film and a song were created in memory of Willy's unwillingness to go home and his ability to drive people wild with his run-around style.

edit Other meaning

Willy is also a slang term for Penis.

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