Wile E. Coyote
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“What a N00b.”
“Not a genius he is not!”
Wile E. (Ethelbert) Coyote (Desertus-operativus Idioticus) (July 21 1919 - May 21, 2008) is a super genius. He is consistently ranked among the world's greatest minds in history. He is responsible for some of mankind's greatest in inventions including the world's first thought-activated television, the personalized doormat, and the morality reader, which enables one to see if stranger is good or evil. His most notable invention, however, is probably Illudium Pew 36, a yellow pill he created that suspends the aging process and enables one to withstand great amounts of pain that may otherwise kill someone. While he never quite perfected it, this pill quickly became the top-selling product of all-time and continues to be used by billions today.
Wile E. (Road-Runnerus Digestus) was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1978 to parents Cage E. and Mary Coyote. The Coyotes moved to ACME Acres, Indiana a few years later. Though his mother, a college professor, always loved him dearly, he was a disappointment to his father, a big game hunter, who forbade him to speak a single word to him until he successfully caught a roadrunner. Though he would spend decades trying, he would never manage to do this. Despite his constant criticism, he quickly became the top student in his nursery school, elementary school, middle school, and part of high school until age fourteen, when he was recruited by the ACME Company. He worked there for a total of four years until age eighteen when he attended Harvard University and graduated with its highest honors. Soon after this, his was recruited by President Wakko Warner as a government scientist to help in his war with the Disney characters.
The Death of Cage E. and Later Life
Unfortunately, Coyote's father (Famishius Fattius), who refused to take his son's pill, was growing ill at the time. Wile E. at this point began to double his efforts to catch the roadrunner. His father never lived to see this, however. His final words to his son, before his death due to Lung Cancer in 1999 at his Mistic Sands AZ home, were "Not a word." Though Coyote grew depressed, he continued to pursue the roadrunner.
Because of Wile E's constant quest to eat Roadrunner, teams playing the Phoenix Coyotes would often yell "Meep Meep" at the Coyotes whenever the Coyotes are on the penalty kill or they are scored on. He is the only known paying fan (and season-ticket holder at that, since the team actually started playing) of the Phoenix Coyotes and, because Wile E. Coyote is ACME's best customer, ACME is the primary sponsor of the bankrupt hockey team. However, just like Jim Balsillie before him, Wile's attempt to purchase the team, jointly with ACME, was rejected by the NHL.
|Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies|
|Primary: Bugs Bunny • Daffy Duck • Porky Pig • Elmer Fudd • Sylvester • Tweety Bird • Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner • Foghorn Leghorn • Pepé Le Pew • Yosemite Sam • Speedy Gonzalez • Marvin the Martian • Tasmanian Devil • The Barnyard Dawg • Henery Hawk|
|Secondary: Bosko • Clyde Rabbit • Buddy • Goopy Geer • Foxy • Piggy • Beans • Michigan J. Frog • Petunia Pig • Rocky and Mugsy • Granny • Hector the Bulldog • Goofy Gophers • Cecil Turtle • Sylvester, Jr. • Gossamer • Spike the Bulldog and Chester the Terrier Hippety Hopper • Marc Antony and Pussyfoot • Witch Hazel • The Three Bears • Hubie and Bertie • Claude Cat • Sniffles • Ralph Phillips • Beaky Buzzard • Willoughby • Charlie Dog • Pete Puma • Crusher • Count Blood Count • Private Snafu • Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf • Slowpoke Rodriguez • K-9 • Merlin the Magic Mouse and Second Banana • Blacque Jacque Shellacque • Nasty Canasta • Cool Cat • Penelope Pussycat • Egghead Jr.|
|Comics and TV Shows: Honey Bunny • Wendell T. Wolf • Digeri Dingo • Daniel and Timothy Platypus • Lola Bunny • Melissa Duck • I.Q. Hi • Star Johnson • Queen Tyr'ahnee|
|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs and Buster Bunny • Plucky Duck • Hamton J. Pig • Montana Max • Elmyra Duff • Dizzy Devil • Furrball • Calamity Coyote • Little Beeper • Gogo Dodo • Sweetie Pie • Shirley the Loon • Fifi La Fume • Li'l Sneezer • Concord Condor • Byron Basset • Fowlmouth • Arnold the Pitbull • Barky Marky • Mary Melody|
|Animaniacs: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot • Ralph the Guard • Thaddeus Plotz • Dr. Otto Scratchansniff • Hello Nurse • Ms. Flamiel • Pinky and the Brain • Snowball the Hamster • Slappy Squirrel • Skippy Squirrel • Walter Wolf • Buttons and Mindy • The Goodfeathers • Rita and Runt • Flavio and Marita • Minerva Mink • Chicken Boo • Katie Ka-Boom • Mr. Skullhead|
|Hanna-Barbera: • Ruff and Reddy • Huckleberry Hound • Yogi Bear • The Flintstones • The Jetsons • Top Cat • Wally Gator • Lippy the Lion • Touche Turtle • Space Ghost • Scooby Doo|
|Other Cartoons: Freakazoid! • Road Rovers|