From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.
Oscar's Chosen Article
Today's Featured Article - John Brown
John Brown (May 9, 1800 – December 2, 1859) was an abolitionist in the United States who believed armed insurrection was the only way to correct the young nation's faults. He is notorious for his 1859 raid at Harpers Ferry, although the only abolition it achieved was the apostrophe. Following the raid, the United States abolished Brown's pulse (and, much later, slavery).
Historians memorialize Brown as a heroic martyr and a visionary, while others vilify him as a madman and a terrorist, yet another proof that inability of Americans to agree on the most basic facts did not originate with the Presidency of Donald Trump.
Brown was born in Torrington, Connecticut, the fourth of eight children. Brown himself would go on to have a litter of 20. Eleven of these survived dysentery and reached adulthood, where they mostly succumbed to their father's spotty military instincts. Brown followed his brother into the tannery trade, before branching out into the side-business of insurrections.
In 1836, Brown moved to Ohio and started another tannery, along with Zenas Kent, whose own side-business would turn out to be loaning his surname to the city. Brown built the business on state bonds, but the economic crisis of 1839 struck the western states worse than the Panic of 1837, the recession of 1836, the downturn of 1835, the bubble-bursting of 1833, and the depression of 1832. (more...)
Recently featured: John Brown
Yesterday's Featured Article -
You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.
Why was I born with such contemporaries?
May 29: Sodium Penthathol Day
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...
From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
Galaxy (r/w) | Ipswich, United Kingdom | Walt Disney (r/w) | Soylent (meal replacement) | Costa Coffee | John Brown (r/w; pictured) | Napoleon II | Emmanuel Macron | Scientist (r/w) | Space Harrier | Horatio Nelson | Caffè Nero | Washington University in St. Louis | World Mission Society Church of God | Morris County | Dominica | Monty Python | Hoboken NJ | Women's suffrage in the United Kingdom | Smörgåsbord | Quantum tunneling | Mika | Victory lap | Rogue One | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w)
This Month's Wit
For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.