Wikipedian

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Wikipedians
What was that thing about Monkey's, Typewriters and the complete work of Shakespeare again? Well, Wikipedians have something to do with them.
Poster
even wikipedia sometimes says the truth. or maybe not.
“WTF!?! WIKIPEDIA DOESN't HAVE A PROPER ARTICLE ON SPARTAAAAAAAAA!!!”
~ Leonidas on Wikipedia and Wikipedians
“Who? OH THEY, those poor fellows with no sense of humor...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Wikipedians
“No matter how hard they try, they'll never be able to beat us. Such amateurs.”

Wikipedians are the worthless, soulless writers of the false organization "Wikipedia" bent on serving lies to all humanoids.

The majority of Wikipedians see themselves as modern Dandy, spending their time reviewing French bistros and arguing vehemently over the definitions of words in dictionaries. Despite their effeminate mannerisms many Wikipedians are skilled fighters who will kill with the slightest provocation unless found out and confronted in real life at which time they wet their pants and try to run and hide.

Using deceit and dark side Force powers, they seek to absolve all true knowledge in the universe and replace it with their own dark Sith teachings.

If you happen to come across this website filled with the teachings of the dark spawn of Satan, turning off your computer won't be enough. Not even pulling the plug will be enough to save you from the vile encroachment of the legions of darkness. Drive down to your local power plant and ask the nice people to cut off all power from the entire neighborhood in which the computer is located. Then, in the light of a three-quarters full harvest moon in January, you must remove your hard drive with a pair of ice-cold tweezers and fling it at the nearest person that you don't like very much.

But wait! If you do that you will be a sockpuppet! and Jimbo Wales shall eat you alive, it is forbidden to upset the nerds with nonsense.

File:Noobjpg thumb.jpg
These are the commonly known facial features of a Wikipedian, and their infamous insults.

Fun Facts

  • Wikipedians are mammals.
  • Wikipedians are fun.
  • Wikipedians edit ALL the time.
  • Wikipedians are censored by the Canadian Communist Party
  • Wikipedians realize that history and facts are actually democratic.
  • Wikipedians are afraid of invisible things.
  • Wikipedians avoid the \/\/0r|) 1337.
  • Wikipedians are suckerbots.
  • Becoming a wikipedian is often a symptom of infection with molten gay.
  • Wikipedians can only be destroyed by a karate chop to the neck, followed by throwing wet Italian sweet bread at their face.
  • The purpose of the Wikipedians is to flip out and delete edit your articles.
  • Wikipedians with penises so small that they are concave are often known as "admins." [1]
  • Wikipedians enjoy a good debate, as long as they're right and you're wrong.
  • All Wikipedians live in their mothers basement, eating Hot Pockets and playing World of Warcraft (when not on Wikipedia).
  • It's a little-known but fun fact that in some dialects Wikipedian is a synonym for "anus."
  • Wikipedians are, most importantly, COMPLETE GEEKS.
  • Wikipedians ARE REALLY DUMB! RIGHT KYRAN?
  • Wikipedians, such as my personal favourite stealth rabbit, bat for the wrong team (generally that is, some are bi-sexual such as pytom).
  • Wikipedians are filth.
  • Wikipedians masturbate when not busy editing articles or downloading Communism.
  • Wikipedians love to see you smile.
  • A Wikipedian's favourite sentence is: "Your article does not conform to policy."
  • Wikipedians are known to be obsessed with a highly pathogenic viral infection known as userboxes.
  • Wikipedians go postal if you express your POV(erty), even in real life.
  • Jimbo Wales took a penis and melted it together with douchebag to make the first Wikipedian.
  • Wikipedians that aren't virgins are looked upon as a curiosity among peers.
  • Among those banned from Wikipedia include the country of Qatar, [2] United States Congress [3] and Steven Colbert. [4]
  • Wikipedians are only slighly less dumb than Digg editors. [5]
  • Wikipedians often proudly claim that Uncyclopedia is a "parody" of their website, when in fact, the opposite is true.
  • Wikipedians like to do things like delete edits which have words like "homosexual" in them, as taking the time to read them and actually think about whether they constitute vandalism or not would take away precious hours from their time spent masturbating over pictures of Jessica Alba.
  • You're probably a Wikipedian if you want to delete this last fact.

The truth about wikipedia moderators (smug pricks)

Wiki Wiki Bus
After finishing the graveyard shift at sunrise, wikipedians have 30 minutes to reach mom's basement before melting in the sun. Sadly, collective transport has increased their chances of survival.

Whoever is reading this you obviously have no life and have never been laid in your life and are still a virgin with sand in your vagina. No one really cares whether the text I have submitted is relevant or not because you people really make me mad because you think you are so big sitting behind your computers and running wikipedia as if it belongs to you and if I could find out where you live I would personally kill you in your sleep and you will die a horrible and painful death where I will appear in your hallway and shoot you then drag your body into your bathroom which the bath will already be filled with reasonably warm temperature water and them I will strip you down and make you feel even more degrading and them I will hold your head under the water until you are almost dead then bring you back up and throw you out of your window so that the neighbors will discover your body in the morning and they will think you committed suicide because there was no evidence of a killer and they know you live a sad and miserable life sitting in front of your computer constantly pissing people off for know reason whatsoever... and this guy thinks wikipedians are the only fucked up ones.. lololololololololollolololololololololololololololololololol

Testimonial

Wikipedians can edit anything they want! Wikipedians edit articles ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and dumb that they edit ALL the time. I heard that there was this wikipedian who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the wikipedian wrote an article about that dude. Once, a wikipedian wrote an article about some kid just because the kid opened a window.

Wikipedians as Gods on Earth

Wikipedians may truly be considered Gods on Earth. As they edit articles, the ideas in their head pass from fiction to fact. For example, rainbows were originally black until 1978. They are still black, but thanks to wikipedia we all generally agree to say that they are multicoloured. Wikipedians rarely abuse their power.

At times Wikipedians will descend from their lofty golden thrones to sully their luminous flesh by walking among the scabrous mortals. This often happens at times of great need, such as immediately after the addition of light-hearted and possibly made-up references to porn search engines to the Jimbo Wales page. When such visitations occur, there is much rejoicing among the simple populace.

Speaking of gods, the scepticism among wikipedians is astonishing when confronted with rival gods. E.g., this it what the wikipedians had to say about Mithras:

The worship of Mithras was widespread in much of the Roman Empire from the mid-2nd century CE, and mainstream[who?] historians[who?] regard it as possible that many Christian practices derived originally from Mithraism through a process known as christianization,[citation needed] including 25th December being Jesus' birth-date,[6]Template:NCite[source is based on a discredited hypothesis] and Sunday being the dedicated day of worship.[7]{WP:COAT} Mithras was a solar deity, and so was seen as being born just after the winter solstice,[citation needed] and the day each week officially[citation needed] dedicated to him by the Roman empire was later renamed the day of the invincible sun,[citation needed] in English later becoming the word Sunday.[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] Parallels between Mithras and the birth-narrative of Luke are also proposed by some[who?] advocates of the Jesus myth, since Mithras, as a sun god,[citation needed] was born[citation needed] under the zodiac sign that at that time was known as the stable of Augeas,[citation needed] though these latter parallels are not so supported in the academic community.[they haven't even bothered to note them] It is however, agreed[false] that according to inscriptions at the Seleucid temple at Kangavar[not Seleucid, not a temple, and has no inscriptions] in western Iran which is dated around 200 B.C.E.,[false] contains passage that state its dedication to "Anahita, the Immaculate Virgin Mother of the Lord Mithras".[false]

Source: Wikipedia: Jesus myth hypothesis.

Former Wikipedian Pillars

The "five pillars of Wikipedia" were recently changed from their original forms in order to preserve the public relations of wikipedians. Up until September 14, 2008, the "orange pillar" read as follows:

Wikipedia is run by elitists: Put simply, if we don't like your article, we're canning it. Chances are, you're a 'non-notable,' which means you fail at life. Only a Wikipedia administrator can deem what the true important issues in the world are, because we know absolutely everything. You can "imagine a world in which every person has free access to the sum of all human knowledge" to your heart's content, but we still run the show. Heil Wales!

It has been often speculated that Jimmy Wales himself is, in fact, a dry-cleaning assistant. This seemingly-contradictory statement has given more wikipedians heart attacks than cholesterol alone.

Unfamous Wikipedians

References

  1. Kobra's Corner: Wikipedia Blows. Kobrasrealm.net (2006-11-19).
  2. Entire country of Qatar banned from editing Wikipedia. Digg.com (2007-01-01).
  3. United States Congress banned from Wikipedia. allgood2.newsvine.com (2006-01-30).
  4. Wikipedia Administrator Blocks Stephen Colbert For Incitement of Vandalism. Digg.com (2006-08-01).
  5. Digg Editors Dumber than Wikipedians. Digg.com (2006-12-26).
  6. Template:Cite encyclopedia
  7. Hines, Richard (1996). Rome: The Calamitous Century. Retrieved on 2007-07-03.
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