Wikipedian is a very complex language to learn. An ostrich that wore a top hat and a monocle saw this issue and decided to research these fascinating people known as Wikipedians. He learned much about the locals of Wikipedia, and decided to share all he learned over the course of his adventures. With the knowledge you obtain here, you can enjoy speaking to the Wikipedian locals and editing their articles in no time at all! The ostrich's name was Zamooph, by the way.
edit Common Phrases in Wikipedian
- Phrase: "Many of the results of quantum mechanics do not have models that are easily visualized in terms of classical mechanics; for instance, the ground state in the quantum mechanical model is a non-zero energy state that is the lowest permitted energy state of a system, rather than a more traditional system that is thought of as simply being at rest with zero kinetic energy."
- Translation: "Hello."
- Phrase: "The study of history has sometimes been classified as part of the humanities and other times as part of the social sciences. It can also be seen as a bridge between those two broad areas, incorporating methodologies from both. Some individual historians strongly support one or the other classification. In modern . In the 20th century, French historian Fernand Braudel revolutionized the study of history, by using such outside disciplines as economics, anthropology, and geography in the study of global history."
- Translation: "Nice to meet you!"
- Phrase: "The human penis is made up of three columns of tissue: two corpora cavernosa lie next to each other on the dorsal side and one corpus spongiosum lies between them on the ventral side."
- Translation: "Do you wish to reproduce?"
edit Wikipedian Grammar
Many of the Wikipedian locals have an odd habit of using words longer than 3 syllables, and it is considered to be very polite in their culture. Remember this when you encounter a Wikipedian, otherwise they will immediately interrupt what you were going to say to them and change it to what "you should have said". Using big words like "Paradigm" and "Antidisestablishmentarianism" will make them feel intelligent, and will improve your chances of not being interrupted mid sentence.
Another habit to be aware of is when the Wikipedians don't believe you to be honest. Their logic is that if nobody else is saying the same thing, then you must be lying. They will proceed to interrupt you mid sentence and yell the words "citation needed" when they don't see anyone else saying the same thing. This is easily solved. You must simply quote yourself, and the locals will find this sufficient. They don't seem to care about where their quotations come from as long as they are quotations.
Please Remember, The Island of Wikipedia does not have a rigid tax system, so be on the lookout for citizens attempting to shake you down for money. They need money for police officers they refer to as 'admins', and this is the traditional method for obtaining funds. As a matter of fact, the Wikipedian locals even harass themselves for donations. It has been such a common occurrence that requesting donations has been incorporated into basic grammar itself. Fortunately, there is almost always a rich tourist that has nothing better to do with his/her money, and thus the country of Wikipedia's Government is sustained for another year.
Although infrequent, Wikipedians have been known to shout blue words. How the heck this is done, or why it is done for that matter, is completely unknown. Wikipedists,(people who study the language and culture of Wikipedians) have been studying this odd phenomenon for quite some time now. They have yet to come up with an explanation.
edit Things to Remember when Communicating with the Locals
- Never use slang or curse words unless talking specifically about these things. Wikipedians may mistake you for a criminal and promptly charge you for graffiti and damage to public property.
- Never insult a Wikipedian's intelligence. The locals have very low self esteem, and many of them feel terrible after getting rejected from Harvard. To compensate, they usually use words with over three syllables when talking with other people. It makes them feel 'smart'.
- Always talk in a British accent, or at least attempt to talk in one. British accents give the illusion of being smart. This will make the locals think that you are an intelligent person, thus making them smart as well for engaging you in conversation. However, actual intelligence is optional.