Wikinomics: How Masturbation Changes Everything
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Wikinomics: How Masturbation Changes Everything is a book by Sigmundheimer F. Rhoid exploring how some companies and individuals in the early 21st century have used masturbation (also called porn production) and open-source technology - such as wikis - to make childish sex-based comments laced with innuendo on popular websites.
Within this book the author explains how changes in technology and the way in which websites are produced allows for greater impact from supporters of juvenile humour. The word "wiki" means "quick" in Hawaiian and is an attempt to demonstrate the level of wit of those who utilise these new technologies, as well as reflecting how long they are likely to hold out until ejaculating whilst viewing porn online.
edit Please insert your "Penis!" here
One of the most creative aspects of Web 2.0 technologies is the ability to insert ridiculously funny comments into often unrelated subject matters, creating a paradigm shift within humour. No longer was the format of initial question, response, punchline enough for those at the cutting edge of humour. Now replacing the outcome of 15 years of research into a scientific theorem with a couple of lines questioning the sexual preferences of your English Teacher could be demonstrated as the next stage of evolution within comedy. And soon the whole world was embracing this new revolutionary thinking.
According to the author, Wikinomics is based on four ideas:
edit Historical Context
|By refusing to acknowledge masturbation as a factor in the Red China economy, Deng Xiao Ping allowed PROC GDP figures to be understated by up to 24% through the late 1980s - TIME Magazine 'Know Your Foe' article, April 1994|
The author is at pains to demonstrate the historical context into which masturbation can be seen as a socio-political force for change, citing a number of both positive and negative examples. The book expands upon precepts set within his previous books The Naked Browser: How the Internet Age Will Revolutionize Single User Sex and Clicking the Big Red Button.
In a chapter entitled "Did Primitive Soviet Porn Production Help Win the Battle of Stalingrad?" itself based upon an article by CIA analyst Jay Smith published in 1962 explores how relaxed Red snipers headed into the field against their jumpy national socialist counterparts armed with a copy of Comrade Centerfold Monthly.
In 1984 Cindi Lauper famously made the comment that "Money changes everything. Also masturbation." Unfortunately, history recalls the prefix of Ms Lauper's remarks, not the suffix. On such rickety rungs is the ladder of popular culture made.
During the Iran Contra "lube for hostages" affair Oliver North would go on record as saying "I did not know about, and would never have personally authorized, the exchange of funds generated by recycling used thin-wall paper products for hostages". In a 1993 televised rant, former President Ronald Regan addressed the world stating that "Reinvestment in cleanup-rich materials lead to off-the-charts production, economic humiliation and political collapse of the Soviet Union in only seven years".
Google, one of the largest sources of free porn and cheap titillation has since 2005 sought to expand into China and the East, viewing the vast number of sexually frustrated young males as a major source of revenue to be tapped into. China, with its "No Masturbation In China" policy line, recently updated to "Don't Ask Don't Tell", has long fought to keep access to these things out of the hands of their nation's youth.
edit Barclay's Law
In the chapter The Perfect Climax, the authors give an overview of the economic effects of the kind of masturbation Web 2.0 permits. According to the authors, the Law governs erections of the penis:
- A firm erection will tend to expand until the cost of organizing extra pornography becomes equal to the costs of trying to find similar pornography online for free.
However, because of the changing usage patterns of Internet technologies, the cost of pornography has dropped so significantly that the authors assert that the market is better described by an inversion of Barclay's Law. That is:
- A firm erection will tend to expand until the cost of carrying porn up to the counter at the newsagents becomes above the costs of organizing the same transaction while keeping your penis firm whilst online.
Thus, the authors think that with the costs of pornography dropping, firmer erections who do not change their current structures will perish. Those who utilize mass collaboration will dominate their respective markets.
edit Summary of Academic Reviews
A review of this book in the Hardon Business Review states "like its title, the book's prose can leave you breathless." A review of this book in Choice recommends the book for "general readers and practitioners," but cautions that the authors "present an optimistic overview of successful collaborations and masturbation ventures", "use unique terms (e.g., marketocracy, prosumption, sharing pictures)", should have given "more consideration [to] the darker sides of human motivation as well as groupthink and mass mediocrity", and "primarily draw on their own observations of friends for the ideas presented." Generally, reception has been positive, though sceptical of the authors' penis length and sexual prowess.