WikiHeaven

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{{Unpsychlopedia}}
 
{{Unpsychlopedia}}
{{wilde|If you can't get into Heaven, go to WikiHeaven|WikiHeaven}}
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[[File:wikiheaven.jpg|thumb|left|The WikiHeaven logo.|240px]]
[[File:wikiheaven.jpg|thumb|The WikiHeaven logo.|240px]]
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{{Q|WikiHeaven — The free afterlife that anyone can enter!|The masthead of WikiHeaven}}
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'''WikiHeaven''' is the place where wiki editors go after [[earth]]ly [[death]]. The good ones, that is. WikiHeaven contains many more than 30,000 articles, as editors from the entire [[history]] of wikis can contribute. WikiHeaven bills itself as "The content-free paradise."
   
'''WikiHeaven''' is the free afterlife that anyone can enter. It is a multireligious [[Web]]-based free-content paradise. WikiHeaven is built collaboratively by those who are and are not chosen. The project began at the Beginning of [[Time]] as a complement to the God-created [[Heaven]].
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WikiHeaven is built collaboratively by those who are [[Jews|chosen]] and those who are not.
   
It is operated by the [[Wikimedia]] Foundation under license from WikiGod.
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The project began at the Beginning of [[Time]] to complement [[God]]'s so-called [[Heaven]] project. Rights to WikiHeaven were purchased by [[Uncyclopedia, Inc.]] It is operated by the [[Wikimedia]] Foundation under a non-exclusive license from God Himself.
   
==What Is WikiHeaven Like?==
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==What is WikiHeaven like?==
Most contemporary scholars now believe that WikiHeaven is much like the [[Most Awesome Page Ever]] possessing an equal amount of [[awesomeness]].
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Of course, no one who enters WikiHeaven ever posts again at mortal wikis such as this one. That alone suggests that it is pretty [[damned]] good, pardon the expression.
   
==WikiRank==
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In particular, events at WikiHeaven cannot be reviewed by clicking on Recent Changes. Most advise that editors' best recourse to staying in touch with WikiHeaven is [[prayer]].
WikiHeaven is believed to be the 2nd largest [[Wiki]], after Uncyclopedia, containing exactly 1 REALLY long article.
 
   
 
==Getting into WikiHeaven==
 
==Getting into WikiHeaven==
Anyone can initially get into WikiHeaven, but all of the people who have entered WikiHeaven can evict other users if they do not meet the requirements for staying. Vigilant admins and also lesser users can revert any Vandalism and evict any users that abuse their priviliges to evict. WikiHeaven is built on the expectation that collaboration among users will improve the Paradise, in much the same way that Uncyclopedia develops.
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Recently [[Dead|deceased]] wiki editors will find that WikiHeaven has no [[Pearl necklace|pearly]] [[gates]], though the [[Main Page]] has a template with a photograph of one.
   
===WikiRequirements===
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They will be dismayed to find that, although <span STYLE="color: #A00">User:SaintPeter</span> is not a member of WikiHeaven, there is a committee of Admins in his folkloric place, and their visage has changed from cuddly animals to wingèd viceroys of the Almighty with penetrating gazes not unlike steel-piercing lazors. New arrivals refer to them as "harpies," but they find this out as well. These Admins have not only the record of a new entrant's worldly deeds, but a very long [[Special:Contributions]] page on which all the entrant's hastily reverted insults and puerile attempts at trolling are laid out in painful detail.
To stay in WikiHeaven, you must be a registered user of Uncyclopedia and must live the Path specified in the [[Most Awesome Page Ever]]. Alternatively, you may get banned waging [[Holy War]] against the Heathens that the [[Most Awesome Page Ever]] has issued fatwahs against. You'll be sent to [[WikiHell]] alright.
 
   
==Methods of WikiEntry==
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Happily, the entrant has "all the time in the world" to make claims about what he ''really'' meant by each of those edits, and what he would have changed it to, had the server not gone down at that exact moment. But by the same token, those standing in judgement on him never buy the [[Too Much Information Man|Too Long, Didn't Read]] gambit, as they too seem to have an [[eternity]].
Users can currently enter WikiHeaven through their Realm-Browsers (such as [[Maozilla|WikiMaozilla]] WikiFox). You may also enter WikiHeaven through your mobile WikiPhone if you do not die next to a personal WikiComputer. There has been much concern over the fact that people in developing countries do not have such luxuries, and WikiHeaven portals have been WikiPrinted by various WikiReligions.
 
   
==WikiSista WikiProjects==
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The saving grace for heavenly [[newb]]ies is that, although the Welcoming Committee knows your every edit, it is not sure who you are. Everyone is still required to be [[anonymous]] and communicate only in writing, using unpronouncible handles. And, since the website's acquisition by Wikia, these handles must be not only distinct from any other handle but also from handles used in earthly life. Therefore, the excuse you made in real life ("That edit wasn't me, it was made by trolls from [[Darthipedia]] whom I lent my password on IRC") will continue to serve you well in WikiHeaven.
{{Wiki}}
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*WikiGod
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==Content==
*WikiUniverse
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Unlike most wikis, WikiHeaven has servers that provide unlimited storage space, so that even all the cat memes on Kittenapedia can get in.
*[[Wikipedia]]
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*WikiHell (obviously)
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Unfortunately, the fact that one has lived a saintly life does not mean one is good at grammar, though the grammar of many wiki editors is sure to improve markedly starting the very moment they die. Consequently, many WikiHeaven articles are in sad disrepair.
*WikiPie
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*WikiEarth
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Likewise, the mere shedding of a Mortal Coil is not always accompanied by shedding a love for nitpicking, differences in style, and a desire to [[Pope|pontificate]] about Strategic Directions. WikiHeaven is rife with [[drama]]-fests which show every sign of going on forever.
*WikiBible
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*WikiKoran
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==Reliability==
*WikiTorah
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It has been a literal eternity since WikiHeaven suffered a server outage. [[JavaScript]] widgets that worked one day never fail the next, there is no programming staff in the ethereal equivalent of [[Poland]] tweaking the code, and the divine server infrastructure never needs to have a new version installed.
*WikiMythology
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*WikiPirates
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==Controversy==
*WikiDeath
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Ecclesiastical experts have taken issue with WikiHeaven's basis, that the standard for heavenly goodness should be "editable by anyone" including the occasional [[Richard Nixon|anonymous editor]]. They point out that other standards of morally upright behavior, such as the [[Ten Commandments]], the [[Qu'ran]], and the [[KFC]] Five-Principle Guide for becoming a Good Employee, are cast in stone, in one case literally.
*WikiMath
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*WikiShoes
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==Other WikiHeavens==
*WikiHitler
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{{Q|♪♪ I was thinking to myself: This could be heaven and this could be hell ♪♪|The Eagles}}
*WikiCarrots
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In 2013, a copy of WikiHeaven was taken and an alternative website was set up with a complete copy of the encyclopedia. The owners and operators were not disclosed, but certain of them have red, barbed tails.
*WikiTrash
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*WikiNinjas
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Although traditional Heaven and Hell never competed for members (as the correct destination for every applicant was usually painfully clear), WikiHeaven entered a period of eternal jousting with the new WikiHell website.
*[[WikiWars]]
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*Too tedious to list
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==Rank==
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[[UNIX|Fedora]] lists WikiHeaven as the largest wiki anywhere, far surpassing even Uncyclopedia in content, though when contacted, the ratings agency claims to have no record of any "hits" from any browser on earth. It also ranks WikiHeaven as having the highest percentage of active users out of any wiki, with 100% of the users still active.
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[[CNet]] also contains rave reviews of the content at WikiHeaven, though this blog likewise is unsurprisingly unable to cite any actual passages from the heavely website.
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Literally everyone is trying to get in, although most are contriving to make the process take as long as possible.

Latest revision as of 02:28, February 22, 2014

UNPSYCHLOPEDIA

Your Handy Guide to the
Psychological Issues of
Wiki Users Like You!

Personality Disorders

WikithuggeryWikiphrenia
WikipedepressionWiki Mule
Wikipedophilia

Behavioral Disorders

Creeping featurism
Obsessive-compulsive deletion
Socks AddictionWiki Rage
Assburger's syndrome
Penispenispenis

Complexes

Wikipoleonic Complex
Wikipersecution Complex

Self-Help

Seeing Through the
Veil of Smoke and Mirrors

Finding Your Inner Sock Puppet

Professional Help

Multiple Online Personality
Management Services

Treatment

VitriolWikiSex
WikideathWikiHeaven

Wikiheaven

The WikiHeaven logo.

“WikiHeaven — The free afterlife that anyone can enter!”
~ The masthead of WikiHeaven

WikiHeaven is the place where wiki editors go after earthly death. The good ones, that is. WikiHeaven contains many more than 30,000 articles, as editors from the entire history of wikis can contribute. WikiHeaven bills itself as "The content-free paradise."

WikiHeaven is built collaboratively by those who are chosen and those who are not.

The project began at the Beginning of Time to complement God's so-called Heaven project. Rights to WikiHeaven were purchased by Uncyclopedia, Inc. It is operated by the Wikimedia Foundation under a non-exclusive license from God Himself.

edit What is WikiHeaven like?

Of course, no one who enters WikiHeaven ever posts again at mortal wikis such as this one. That alone suggests that it is pretty damned good, pardon the expression.

In particular, events at WikiHeaven cannot be reviewed by clicking on Recent Changes. Most advise that editors' best recourse to staying in touch with WikiHeaven is prayer.

edit Getting into WikiHeaven

Recently deceased wiki editors will find that WikiHeaven has no pearly gates, though the Main Page has a template with a photograph of one.

They will be dismayed to find that, although User:SaintPeter is not a member of WikiHeaven, there is a committee of Admins in his folkloric place, and their visage has changed from cuddly animals to wingèd viceroys of the Almighty with penetrating gazes not unlike steel-piercing lazors. New arrivals refer to them as "harpies," but they find this out as well. These Admins have not only the record of a new entrant's worldly deeds, but a very long Special:Contributions page on which all the entrant's hastily reverted insults and puerile attempts at trolling are laid out in painful detail.

Happily, the entrant has "all the time in the world" to make claims about what he really meant by each of those edits, and what he would have changed it to, had the server not gone down at that exact moment. But by the same token, those standing in judgement on him never buy the Too Long, Didn't Read gambit, as they too seem to have an eternity.

The saving grace for heavenly newbies is that, although the Welcoming Committee knows your every edit, it is not sure who you are. Everyone is still required to be anonymous and communicate only in writing, using unpronouncible handles. And, since the website's acquisition by Wikia, these handles must be not only distinct from any other handle but also from handles used in earthly life. Therefore, the excuse you made in real life ("That edit wasn't me, it was made by trolls from Darthipedia whom I lent my password on IRC") will continue to serve you well in WikiHeaven.

edit Content

Unlike most wikis, WikiHeaven has servers that provide unlimited storage space, so that even all the cat memes on Kittenapedia can get in.

Unfortunately, the fact that one has lived a saintly life does not mean one is good at grammar, though the grammar of many wiki editors is sure to improve markedly starting the very moment they die. Consequently, many WikiHeaven articles are in sad disrepair.

Likewise, the mere shedding of a Mortal Coil is not always accompanied by shedding a love for nitpicking, differences in style, and a desire to pontificate about Strategic Directions. WikiHeaven is rife with drama-fests which show every sign of going on forever.

edit Reliability

It has been a literal eternity since WikiHeaven suffered a server outage. JavaScript widgets that worked one day never fail the next, there is no programming staff in the ethereal equivalent of Poland tweaking the code, and the divine server infrastructure never needs to have a new version installed.

edit Controversy

Ecclesiastical experts have taken issue with WikiHeaven's basis, that the standard for heavenly goodness should be "editable by anyone" including the occasional anonymous editor. They point out that other standards of morally upright behavior, such as the Ten Commandments, the Qu'ran, and the KFC Five-Principle Guide for becoming a Good Employee, are cast in stone, in one case literally.

edit Other WikiHeavens

“♪♪ I was thinking to myself: This could be heaven and this could be hell ♪♪”
~ The Eagles

In 2013, a copy of WikiHeaven was taken and an alternative website was set up with a complete copy of the encyclopedia. The owners and operators were not disclosed, but certain of them have red, barbed tails.

Although traditional Heaven and Hell never competed for members (as the correct destination for every applicant was usually painfully clear), WikiHeaven entered a period of eternal jousting with the new WikiHell website.

edit Rank

Fedora lists WikiHeaven as the largest wiki anywhere, far surpassing even Uncyclopedia in content, though when contacted, the ratings agency claims to have no record of any "hits" from any browser on earth. It also ranks WikiHeaven as having the highest percentage of active users out of any wiki, with 100% of the users still active.

CNet also contains rave reviews of the content at WikiHeaven, though this blog likewise is unsurprisingly unable to cite any actual passages from the heavely website.

Literally everyone is trying to get in, although most are contriving to make the process take as long as possible.

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