WiL Francis
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“Many times have I fantasized of raping WiL Francis.”
~ Eminem on WiL Francis
“WiL Francis is very very sexy”
~ FairyGarland on WiL Francis
{{Q|Wil Francis is on my to rape list!| George Bernard Shaw
WiL Francis is the uber sexy lead singer of the band Aiden and a propaganda tool well utilised by communists under their newly assumed identity of emos. Originally hired by King Jack Skellington IV to help spread the oppressive emoist political views such as dark clothing and heaps of eyeliner via the media as propaganda, WiL was also targeted by James O'Barr to help promote The Crow movies and graphic novels as a ploy to earn more royalties from his sales. Not wanting to pay Francis in money for his services, O'Barr provided him with marijuana and babies instead. This led to Francis pursuing a life of drugs and baby eating which resulted in numerous visits to rehab clinics. It is also generally believed Hitler secretly had WiL assist with Leni Riefenstahl in the production of Triumph of the Wills and that if you play Aiden's songs backwards you will hear pro-Nazi messages. I'd just like to say right here that sexylicious as he is, WiL is a very talented vocalist (dead serious, I'm really loving Aiden's song Hurt Me) so unlike most famous people, he has a purpose.
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[edit] History
WiL Francis was born on in Seattle,Washington born onthe 8th of January 1982.
[edit] Private Life
[edit] As A Troubled Teen
During his teenage years WiL practised the very things that would make him very emo, and very popular to the emo fan base. So naturally he tryed the fad of depression, dressing black all the other things that would just really bum everyone out. Francis then attended Hawthorne High, home of the self-harm-core band Hawthorne Hights, and achieved A+ in apathy, self harm and introspectiveism. At only 15 he went on to try the career of being a terrorist and decided he was going to mass murder everyone in Time Square,NY, with a backpack full of guns, but pussied out because of how much of an emo fag he was. What a suprise eh? And of course developed a drug addiction and learned to play guitar to sort it out and put the angst of his soul on to paper or what ever blah blah blah just like millions of emo kids around the world do each and everyday.
[edit] As Captain Feathersword
For a short time WiL replaced Captain Feathersword in The Wiggles but was ordered to be removed off the air by angry parents and the FCC after his songs included references to cutting implements, suicide and vampires. Later on he was recast as Dorothy the Dinosaur but was taken off again after he said the F Word in front of live audience of kids. He also had to write a written apology to the parents of the children in front of whom he swore but instead hired George Bush's speechwriter to write the apology for him. The apology did not go well when Francis addressed an Australian audience as 'Austrians' and uttered more profanity after failing to remember his lines.
[edit] As a Porn Star
WiL spent a short amount of time in the porn industry where he would pose naked for various magazines for a paycheck. This also gained much publicity for his band, Aiden as many of the women and gay men who read those magazines soon became Aiden fans themselves. Even Oscar Wilde is said to be particularly fond of Francis and was once quoted saying WiL Francis is written with a capital L for love.
[edit] World of Warcraft
WiL Francis is known to frequent the World of Warcraft when he is not recording or just whenever he has a spare moment. He is a brutal player who doesn't hesitate to kill and goes under the name of 41d3n1337. He is also known to speak mostly if not entirely in l33t. According to statistics from Blizzard Entertainment WiL is one of the World's strongest players, beating millions of Korean nerds and MMORPG addicts everywhere. He is also known for having a level 101 Dragon Knight on the Global Maple Story server and being in a guild with Marilyn Manson, Gerard Way and Michael Jackson.
[edit] Discography
[edit] Albums
Aiden:
- Our Gang's Dark oath
- Nightmare anatomy
- Rain in the hell
- Aiden Greatest Hits
- Conviction (2007)
- knives (2009)
The Wiggles:
- The Wiggles Party Mix
[edit] Singles
- Die romantic
- I Set my friends on Fire
- We Sleep Forever
- One Love
- Moment
[edit] Filmography
- Triumph of the Wills as assistant director.
- Edward Scissorhands as Johnny Depp
- The Crow (planned 2030 remake) as The Crow
[edit] Fan Following
“Many times have I fantasized of raping WiL Francis.”
~ Eminem on WiL Francis
WiL has gained quite a fair following amongst fans with the majority of them being women to whom he serves as a sex symbol and emos brainwashed by his messages.
Francis's fans can be broken down to the following:
[edit] Notes
- WiL Francis is hot!
- You would like to have him all to yourself.
- You are probably considering undergoing plastic surgery in order to look like him.
- Admit you can't stop staring at his crotch.
- WiL is richer than you.
- He owns a new high definition TV.
- He eats.
- He breathes.
- He sleeps.
- He goes to the toilet.
- He's probably even touches himself without your knowledge.
- You are reading an Uncyclopedia article on him written by Some Guy who just happens to be a fan.
- WiL knows your mum, he's played bingo with her.
- WiL has a nice ass.
- He has two legs and two arms.
- He used to wear nappies.
- He bare knuckle brawls bears.
- you want to be his knife blood nightmare.
