Why? talk:Won't that damn CD player play my vinyls?

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edit Review Part 1: ~Flumpa

Humour: 9 I enjoyed this article. In fact, I laughed out loud at several points. The only thing I could suggest is to stay consistent with the "proper" narration tone, as you seem to stray from that personality at some points.
Concept: 10 A good, original idea, as well as a welcome break from all the Uncyclopedia in-jokes and memes.
Prose and formatting: 9 Well-formatted, and the narration was an excellent touch. The "proper" tone of voice was what really gave this article life.
Images: 9.5 So there were only two images, but they fit well with the article, and the captions fit well with the images, so no problems here.
Miscellaneous: 10 I don't know?
Final Score: 47.5 An all around excellent article. Just remember what I said about staying with the right tone.
Reviewer: * Flumpa Quotes.PNG 04:48, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

edit Review Part 2: ~Orian57

Humour: 7 yeah! Definitely some laugh out loud lines here. The tone issue (see below) dragged the mark down a bit though as improving the tone will certainly make it funnier.

and may i suggest at the last line saying something like "good bye you confounded contraption" just so it sound funnier.

Theres not much else i can say here really as it was all pretty good except for the tone issue.

Concept: 9 Brilliant, I don’t think I’ve seen an article addressing technophobia yet and the way you had it as a man trying to play a vinyl in a CD player but able to operate a high-tech rocket launcher made it more absurd, but in a good way. I also like the underlying idea that this guy buys new stuff he doesn’t know how to use (maybe you didn’t intend that but it was something I got from the fact he has a rocket launcher just lying around).
Prose and formatting: 8 The formatting was fine just some issues with the prose.

Tone, as Flumpa said, is a bit of an issue. Old people don’t swear. Or blaspheme. This isn’t to say that I have anything against swearing or blaspheming [1] but in this context I think it would be funnier to replace words like “F*ck” with politer terms like “fudge”, “crumbs” or “shoot” as someone being really angry but simultaneously being really polite can, and will in this case, be really funny (a bit like Flanders in the simpsons but, you know, more British). Words like “bugger” and “damn” are acceptable cusses though.

I think the words that you have in bold should be italicised and there were a few typos nothing else major though.

Images: 6 They weren’t fantastic in all honesty, they were relevant to the article though not especially funny although the captions made them work ok. If it’s possible try and get a photo-shopped image of Allen Sugar with a rocket launcher aiming it at a CD player with teeth. Or maybe have the two separately… I think something zanier could make this article.

Also I’ve developed this OCD thing where I prefer images to alternate the side they’re on. Just as I think it looks nicer.

Miscellaneous: 7.5 (Averaged)
Final Score: 37.5 if you’ve got anything to complain about, if your angry and need to verbally abuse someone or if you’d simply like to thank me please visit my talk page.
  1. I swear like a darned trooper with his penis caught in a flipin’ blender when it suits
Reviewer: Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|Icons-flag-gbOrian57 02:31, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Current avg. score: 42.5. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 20/05 16:45
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