Why? talk:Is There a Moose On This Plane?
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Good article, even though you REVERTED my brilliant paragraph about the unethical behavior of a certain moose I met in 1997. • <16:06 Oct 11, 2008>
- Paragraph? You added two words to a sentence. Also it's too dry is it? Oh well I shall have this one finished soon, probably today then let me know what you think. Thankies Cajek! SK Sir RotM 16:10 11 October 2008
edit I like it
I like the surrealism aspect. I'm not sure what I would add, but I think this may make it on VFH if it was just one section longer. Making fun of airplanes and the kids and the fat people would be a necessary angle one would take on an AIRPLANE article, I think. • <4:33 Oct 12, 2008>
- Coolies! I guess I could expand into the "Harrowing journey through Econemy Class" but I didn't want to be accused of going off topic. And I'm not really sure that the fact this was on an airoplane was wholly relevant but yeah there's pleanty of airoplane related stuff to make fun of. I'll see what I can do, in the morning. Thanks for your input! SK Sir RotM 04:38 12 October 2008
|Humour:||8||Straight up, specially written, cunning piece of thinking that results in the type of article that I think beautifies Uncyclopedia. It's not laugh-out-loud funny, but it is still humourous throughout. The nature of the article, touching insanity in a public area, is well put out, the prose is superb and the images are well thought out, if not a little random. I would agree that this is definately a contender for VFH, but I'd go no further than a weak for in this current state.
I would love to give this an 8, although that just feels a tad kind and I'm saving up all my generosity for next Christmas.
|Concept:||7||The concept, as I see it, is about a person who has a fear of flying and is overly certain that he is seeing a moose on the plane. S/he gradually goes insane and starts to see other visions, such as a "bony wraith-like mother" and then ignores the mindless panic after the pilots are both killed in a state of apparent calm. The concept is funny, as well as the title for the article which will definately attract readers, not to mention that it is well executed. However, my only qualm is that the concept doesn't scream with length. The article could've been longer, but if I were to have a go, I would probably struggle to make it any funnier. It's too good an article for 7, but I don't think the concept deserves an 8.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||Attractive use of words and elegant structure pratically points the article towards VFH, if articles could qualify just for being so well written. There are a few typos, such as "with five seats an whores with no teeth", "simpley" and "parnoid state", however these are just minor problems of course, but they do prevent perfection.|
|Images:||8||Four images supplied, although the first one just seems like you wanted to put it somewhere, the second image is strange, even though it's the only image that shows a moose in a plane, the caption plus the male flight attendant doesn't at all rhyme with the article, although had that been a female air attendant, the picture would've been gold and the caption, obvious. The third one is nice but I think the imagery of the boy's mother is best left without any pictures showing what she supposedly looked like anyway. The last, but not least, is brilliant (even if the hat looks crookedly placed, but that makes it better).
I would suggest using pictures that are less confusing towards the article and it's point.
|Final Score:||38.5||There's not much I can suggest on my part, but that's not to say the article is brilliant enough, it's either because the scope is not long enough or I';m just losing my touch. Either way though, the article is still brilliant. I have no doubt that this article could pass for a VFH nom in it's current state, although several tweaks couldn't hurt.|
|Reviewer:||--Nachlader 14:54, 4 November 2008 (UTC)|