Why? talk:Am I a Power Ranger?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Humour: 7.4 *intro: 9

haha, wow. i really dodn't know where you were going with this one when i read the title, but i liked it. i am very intrigues, and want to read the rest of the article. this makes me wish i had thought of it before you got to it (damn you!)

  • where did i go wrong: 7

okay, some confusing stuff here, but solid nonetheless. the narrator is a woman; i didn't see that one coming. as 95% of the readers on this site are male, they will assume a male character. you should thus make some allusion to the narrator's woman-ness in the intro, for clarification. the narrator says 'commercials were too good for me', but then says that she wanted to get noticed, so maybe she should say something like 'commercials were too small-time for me'.

  • this is no kind of life to be living: 8

another great section. some points: the last sentence is implying the narrator ends up in heaven instead of hell, but isn't very clear (if that is the case). try rewording it. the 'I'm an actress' line would go good in the intro, to clarify the gender of the narator. i'm not sure why you linked 'action figure' to 'lie'. other than those nitpicky things, a solid section.

  • over-reacting: 7

a bit short, but good nonetheless. maybe instead of 'balls' go with 'testicles' or something more classy. i really like how you stay away from the profanity-induced tirades that these type of articles usually become (except for the dyke line). i'd like to see more than one line about additional benefits. tie in the caption of the article and mention the merchandise, plus some other things to round out a second paragraph.

  • not that it matters: 6

a decent ending but it could use some work/rearranging. it took me a second to realize that the turbo-lax thing was the commericla you described and not some sort of bizzare porn that i dont want to know about. so maybe say turbo-lax ad. stay away from the vulgarity; you did it so well in the rest of the article, so replace 'shit' with 'junk' or something. i'm also not sure how much i like the ending; i'd almost rather see the narrator sign a six year contract with a slight pay decrease, and be confined to power ranger hell for the forseeable future. she could still consider porn, so you could keep much of the content in this section, but i think an ending without breaking free of the power rangers would serve better.

Concept: 9.5 5/5 points for a well-known subject worthy of parody. who doesn't know of the awesomeness that is the power rangers universe?

4.5/5 points for execution. i really liked the way you stayed away from ranting, and the tone of a dejected actress is really great. i would, as i said, love to see an ending where she does not escape from power rangerness.

Prose and formatting: 5 i have to give you a pretty low score here, as you prose and formatting weren't acceptable, but that doesn't mean i won't help you increase it greatly. i'll give you a proofread, and take care of some formatting issues like the header line going through the image of the kid.
Images: 7 three is a good number of images. the last two had fine captions, but the first one was confusing becasue the kid uses the first person, when the rest of the article is voiced in the first person by the narrator. maybe simply putting the caption in quotes would serve to illustrate the fact the child is speaking.
Miscellaneous: 7.3 averaged
Final Score: 36.2 my preview button tells me that your final score is 36.2. addressing your concerns, the concept is awesome, and the images are merely adequate. you could try to replace some images or captions, or i could try and help by taking some time and thinking of some way to awesomify the images (just drop me a line). i feel like with some cleaning up (which i will provide) and a better ending i would nom this for VFH myself (although it might be a while, i hate to nom too much stuff at once and i have a bit of a backlog). should you nom it i would support it, anyway. good job, great article, and good luck!
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:43, 9 September 2008 (UTC)


Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk Pumpkin4sig 16:17 9 September 2008

Bmup smaller The Proofreading Service has proofreaded your article. Like it? Need more proofreading? Click here!

--SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:18, 9 September 2008 (UTC)


mmm --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 10:03, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

(I read the bit you posted and then deleated (though on wiki's nothing you say is ever truly gone)) That's fair enough if you don't like it. I just happed to find this sort of humour funnier to read and to write. The problem with this wiki is that humour is such a subjective thing, and you're never gonna please everyone. So yeah, thanks for you're imput. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 11:49 16 October 2008
Don't feel bad D: at least you're able to finish the ideas you start. I've got about 12 different articles that are pretty advanced but I don't know how to finish them. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 11:53, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Oh that happens to me alot, I officially have five ideas that I started and have abandoned and a further five that I've started and am hoping to get around to. Beating you by two granted but I think starting ideas and never finishing them (or then realising they don't work) is just part of writing. And I don't feel bad, your comparison to a blog is kinda what I was going for anyway. The fact you didn't find it funny is a little dissapointing but like I said, can't please everybody. :) SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 12:01 16 October 2008
I dunno, i'll probably find it funny later when I'm not stuck on a great idea that I just can't finish :( --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 12:05, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
This that thing you mentioned on Hype's page? That sounds pretty interesting, though commentary sounds suspiciously synnonymous with narration... SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 12:13 16 October 2008
That's another thing I'm just thinking about... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 12:15, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

edit oh cool!

I get featured again! I didn't know that. That's awsome. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 00:57 2 February 2009

edit More Bragging

Today is the third (and last) time that this had been on the front page! Go me!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink 19:09 13 September 2009

Congratulations. Sir Socky Sexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk) Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:11, 13 September 2009
NO U. Oh no wait. ME!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink 19:12 13 September 2009

edit Wow

Featured "why?" does that mean people still like this or where there just not enough why?'s?    Orian57    Talk   Union pink 13:12 3 January 2011

Personal tools
projects