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| Why? |
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So why should you vandalize?
For one thing, it'll make you feel better than you've ever felt before. I mean, who wants to do the same helpful crap over and over? Filing your taxes correctly, writing that article, etcetera, etcetera. When you realize that the whole thing becomes boring after the 90th time you've done it. You've won all the awards. What more could you have or want? Other then the fame and respect that you automatically have. Besides, who wouldn't want to throw away everything that they've done? Who would want to throw away all the hard work that they did? You, that's who!
Besides, contributing to Uncyclopedia makes you all boring and sleepy. Now vandalizing, that'll make you hoppy as Caffeine and will make you laugh 10x harder then anything on Uncyclopedia. Who wouldn't want to see stuff like Gay or Sex vandalized? Everyone does! It brings style and substance to everything because Vandalism is style, it's substance, and most of all, it's annoying. People, despite the common belief, love to be annoyed.
Also, vandals get all the chicks. Try spray-painting a building in broad daylight, I guarentee that chicks will be coming at you from all directions.
Is it good?
Well, it is good, as it's a great way to express yourself. I mean it's art for god's sake, you paint that shit on any wall and people'll pass by saying, "Wow, look at that piece of art. That guy is
insanely stupid a genius!", You want to earn that admiration! It'll give you fame and fortune worldwide. Just look at Mark Ecko, he made gazillions of dollars just by vandalizing everything. Don't you want to earn money just by doing something everybody hates? Well, don't you?
Besides, look at what you could possibly achieve. You could mess up tens of thousands of buildings just by vandalizing the hell out of them. This can include throwing rocks at buildings, ruining the building by smashing it with a hammer and, through this, making it cost a lot to repair the place. Because you know deep down, you want them to pay for what you did. Prepare to run all the way through the city and get arrested for vandalism. You don't want that, right?
What's the feeling that you get?
Oh, the feeling that you get... it's very, very, wonderful to say the least. It feels like you are letting everything go. Your job, your skills, Your friendships... you no longer have to worry about your wife nagging you about something every two seconds, and you no longer feel like you have to do stuff anymore. You just go out, tag some stuff, throw some rocks, break some windows, etc. And you feel good every time because you are letting everything go, everything that you could've achieved into thin air, never to be seen again.
Besides, you get to do stuff you never could when you were
sober not vandalizing. You get to go around town wearing that black suit, moving around places you never knew existed. Getting out spray paint so you can vandalize the walls with your words. You also get to wreck damage on stuff you never could of, such as poor defenseless trash cans, poor defenseless windows. Basically anything that's defenseless you can vandalize. So... you want to vandalize now?
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u kno u want to sukkk these areeticell toe thousand peiecezzz, ur moueth desireres for a piece of these articceeellzzz, soe com oonnzzz aennd kkkkkkk ittzzzz lololololololololololololololololololololololololol, sucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksucksuck
You just vandalized an article, way to go genius. Way. To. Go. You made yourself look stupid, even though the article is all about vandalizing and why you should vandalize. You just made yourself look like a fool in front of everyone. Here's The Book of Kralnor, now get reading and don't stop till you read every page of it. And I mean every page, you hear me? We want to make you back into a perfect reader. Not some vandal who doesn't have a life. Sigh.
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