Why?:They Hate Us?
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| Why? |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
Why do the Islamofascist Fundamentalist Terrorist Muslims hate the USA and the west? Well it is kind of complicated and involves foreign policy decisions, botched diplomacy, and wars in the Middle East that we became a part of, as well as other things.No doubt that we are assholes but we also have to explain.
Warning this is the view of many in the Independent Party as well as in Asia and the Middle East seem to have. Conservatives and Liberals may not understand this. It was written in the style of Mr. Independent of CNN Lou Dobbs.
This happened a long long time ago. Back when Europe was a Christian controlled land of nations. After the fall of the Roman Empire, Christians controlled the Holy Land Jerusalem. The Fundamentalist Muslims invaded and took it over and called it Palestine and then it lead to the Crusades. Now Europe is a Secular Humanist land of nations, but the Fundamentalist Muslims still hate the Europeans and USA (Despite the USA was not formed during the Crusades) for what their ancestors did to their ancestors. This lead to an Immigration to Europe by Fundamentalist Muslims where Europeans treat them like third class citizens and they have a high unemployment rate and throw riots in Paris France. 
The Barbary Pirates
It all started with Thomas Jefferson refusing to pay money to the Barbary Pirates in exchange for the safety and release of US hostages. Jefferson known as a lover of liberty and non-aggression decided that instead of paying money he would assemble the best Navy money could buy to fight the Barbary Pirates. Jefferson invaded Tripoli and other places and angered the Fundamentalist Muslims who lived there.  The USA won the Barbary War, but set a lot of anger in North Africa and the Middle East that would last a long time.
World War II and the non-rebuilding of the Middle-East Muslim Nationstates
The USA built back up Europe and with the UK helped form the state of Israel (except not really, it was nothing to do with the US) but basically ignored the Muslim Middle-East nationstates and North African nationstates that also were Islamic. This turned these Islamic nationstates into third world nation shitholes, and lack of a military and police force eventually lead to the Radical Fundamentalist Muslims to take over. In some states dictatorships had formed up from the ashes. But this lead to a long time of neglect and abuse, and the nationstates had figured that the USA and the west had abandoned them because of their religion and race. Oddly enough some nationstates had oil in them, but the leaders didn't share it with the people.
The 1950's and 1960's
Basically the Beatniks and Hippies did things to offend the Fundamentalist Muslims with their debauchery. Inventing the Bikini in violation of the Burka, pushing Pork on people, and pushing a Secular agenda in violation of Islamic Law. There also was the alcohol and drug issues which were not Halal. But that gave some Fundamentalist Muslims the idea to grow things like poppies to use against the USA and west to use their vices against them.
Iran claims that Jimmy Carter had aided the Shah of Iran, who embezzled money out of their treasury and was a tyrant and dictator and puppet of Big Oil and the New World Order.  That they wanted to try the Shah for "war crimes". But Carter wouldn't meet their demands. So Iran held on to US citizens working or visiting there as hostages, and the rest of the Middle East got mad at the USA and the west. Eventually the hostages got released, but Iran was still pissed off about it at Carter and the USA.
In an attempt to fight Iran Ronald Reagan had armed Saddam Hussein of Iraq with arms and WMDs. But Saddam abused them and used them on the Kurds anyway. The USSR had invaded Afghanistan and Reagan had freedom fighters like Osama bin Laden trained to fight the Russians. Only to leave Afghanistan later to fend for themselves and not spend any money rebuilding it back up after the USSR destroyed it.  Later on Osama bin Laden became an enemy of the USA, but we don't know why? After all the USA helped him defeat the USSR.
Bush the Sr. or Poppy Bush ran on the coattails of Reagan and was ex-CIA diractor and big time Texas oil man who migrated from Connecticut to Texas to win the Cowboy votes. Anyway turns out Saddam went insane and invaded Kuwait for the Oil, and the UN and Dan Quayle thought it was a good idea for Gulf War I (Operation Desert Storm) and picked "Stormin' Norman" General Norman Schwarzkopf to lead the troops. Saddam was like "OMG why are you attacking me, you used me to fight Iran for you and I still got CIA money for that!" and got his butt kicked. Schwarzkopf was advising to enter Iraq and finish Saddam off, but Poppy Bush said it was enough. Let his son Dubya deal with if when he gets elected. This set off high tensions between the USA and the Middle East. Saddam put a multi-million dollar bounty on Poppy Bush's head, and his son Dubya would later do something about that which pisses off the rest of the world.
He cut back the US military to create a surplus. But bin Laden had his men attack the WTC in 1993 which lead to a big hunt for Osama by Clinton and he tried to catch him without hurting any civilians. Clinton blamed Iraq and claimed they had WMD's so he bombed what he thought was a WMD factory only to learn later it made only aspirin.  Which only seemed to make the Islamic Terrorists mad, and may have triggered a future attack. 
Bush Jr. or Dubya Bush botched the job left over by Clinton by ignoring a memo named Osama plans to strike New York and then 911 happened. After the Neocon Republicans claiming Clinton lied that Iraq had WMDs to cover up the Monica Lewinski scandal, Bush claimed Iraq had WMDs after invading Afghanistan the USA invaded Iraq. It because Gulf War II (Operation Iraqi Freedom) but bka as "Hello my name is George W. Bush, you tried to kill my father, prepare to die!" If the rest of the world didn't have enough to hate the USA for they got dragged into the Iraqi war as well. Foreign relations with Islamic nationstates was at an all time low. Bush was so unpopular that McCain/Palin lost to Obama/Biden because Obama/Biden weren't Neocons and not at all like Bush.
It is too early to tell, but Obama ran on hope and change and offered a better foreign policy to at least talk to the Islamic nationstates. The rest of the world likes Obama better, because they wanted a guy they could walk all over. It's kay though, because he is the closest thing to a muslim that has ever stepped foot in the white house, and even he won't pull the troops out of the middle-east.
Carter and Clinton didn't do those things, that is a Neocon lie. It was Reagan and the Bushes that screwed everything up. Jefferson wasn't that much of a racist, because the Barbary Pirates where beheading people and stealing shit on the ocean. It was the Republicans that supported the Islamic Terrorists as Freedom Fighters against the USSR and Iran, not us.
Conservative Republican Rebuttal
It was Carter and Clinton that screwed things up. Reagan and the Bushes tried to fix things, but the Liberals screwed things up so much they couldn't be fixed. It is the liberal limp-wristed foreign policy that gives power and aid to the Islamic Terrorists.
Lou Dobbs Rebuttal
Shut up both of you, both the Democrats and Republicans screwed things up so badly. If a third party like an Independent like Ross Perot, or Ralph Nader or Ron Paul or Bob Barr were elected, we wouldn't even have these problems. Can't you see that the USA and the west are too polarized to work together for a peaceful solution? I'm sick and tired of seeing the both of you point fingers at each other. When you point a finger, you got four more pointing back at you!
Citations from left and right wing sources as well as non-USA sources for a combination of misinformation to create this current article.
- ↑ http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=1280843 Fundamentalist Muslims throw riots in Paris France over mistreatment and racism.
- ↑ http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/jefferson_papers/mtjprece.html Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates
- ↑ http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/KB13Ak01.html Iran blames Jimmy Carter
- ↑ http://www.democracynow.org/2004/6/10/ghost_wars_how_reagan_armed_the Reagan armed the Mujahadeen in Afghanistan
- ↑ http://www.mega.nu:8080/ampp/khartoumbomb.html Clinton bombs aspirin factory claims it was WMD factory. Oopsie!
- ↑ http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/687099/posts Clinton made Osman mad over aspirin factory bombing
|Defend the sanctity of humor by passing a Constitutional Amendment.|