Why?:Should I care
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|This article force pushes infants. |
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“You don't care? No you don't sound emo, not at all..”
“You are still that caring fellow right? Right? Or am I missing something?”
| Why? |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
Why should I care is one of the most fantastic inventions of the 21st century. It consists of a string of words designed to get you out of any crap you may have gotten yourself into. It is not used by fools. It is used by normal people, children, emo people, punks, no0bs, etc.
However it is over exploited by you, <insert name here> and of course, me.
Depressed? Feeling sad at the comparison? Gonna go weep now?
Go ahead. Why should I care?
The world went through troubled times before its birth. Unable to express their feelings in four simple words, people became doubly depressed trying to show other people their plain emo feelings. It lead to the invention of many other words such as:
- Fuck off!
- Go fuck yourself.
- I don't give shit for that!
- Nobody cares
- Somebody cares (but I certainly don't!)
And other words too, but all of them had profanity in them (or at least that's what those sissies of those days thought) so they would always lead to some argument or full-scale war.
Then came along a person shaking his spear who started saying funny stuff which no one understood or gave a shit about. They started pelting him with rocks (origin unknown-they were standing on the road). But this made the retard spear shaker pissed off so he decided to speak some alien words.
“Why should I care!”
He probably said something good, since everybody shut their trash and went away. But I don't care to remember what he said. Why should I?
"Why should I care" can be used in many places, but not all. Unlike this idiot:
“Why should I care!!!”
This loser was later found whimpering in some dark worthless corner of the world with the trash, whimpering something like "I didn't mean it..."
To avoid such incidents, use the above phrase only in the right situations such as:
edit Getting caught jerking off
You were imagining yourself banging that hot chick at school/college, oh yeah, just gonna come, ohhh, so close...
<insert name here>, WTF ARE YOU DOING!!!
Thats right you were caught red handed, with your manhood in your hand, you fell your erection and fantasies slipping replaced by fears of castration and whipping. Now is a good moment, to have your revenge for ruining your moment, with the phrase: "Why should I care!!!!" Notice how your parent's eyes widen with shock, and suddenly realize you are not that fucking retard like toddler anymore, and then they have a fairly good chance of leaving, accepting your behavior as late puberty and hormones.
If not, three words: You are fucked.
So use a contraception or appreciate double meanings.I could care less.
edit Announcing your depression
Bad grades. Dumped by the only hot chick stupid enough to hook up with you. Screwing up in that soccer match.
Reason enough for you to get ridiculed, scolded, beaten. Reason enough to become a depressed teen.
So combine both by going and telling anyone who would care to insult, scold, tease or beat you: "Why should I care!" Watch as slowly everyone realizes you are some depressed moody guy who was meant to screw up in everything. Problem solved.
NOTE TO READER: We are not responsible for any damage caused to idiots who actually bothered to use my tips in real life.
Wait, who is 'we'?
Figure it out yourself or don't, why should I care?
edit Acting like a moron in front of the entire school
If there is one thing the world has too much of (except non-virgins, niggers and fools) is hypocrisy. If some high school nobody tells you he does not care which crowd he hangs with, either he has a serious case of idiocy, is too high on crack or is being a hypocrite. And he or she seriously wants to, needs to be a dude, reasons include chicks/dicks (depending on sexual orientation), the good stuff worth dying for and 'the kewl content'-a measure of how great is your appeal to homosexuals.
The point is, everyone wants to be with one of the somebodies, but often tend to make mistakes that put us in the dork categories. Like tripping while carrying your lunch, accidental lip-locks, etc.
Then is a good time to scream out loud: "How do I care!!!" Amidst the shocked expressions of those jocks and dudes, you will notice how suddenly you have been labeled REBEL:A cool dude worth hanging out with.
“NOOOO!This is a lie, you are being foo...AARGH!!”
You are not being fooled. Relax. Feel comfortable. Feel very sleepy. Now you are going to believe every word written.
If not, go ahead and start huffing kittens or random space rocks. Why should I care?
“I am 100% for it and 100% against it. Which means I don't have a single fucking idea”
'Why?:should I care' had a mixed reception. Some critics called it awesome. Some called it commendable, some even called it brilliant.
All these of reviews however were obtained from rehabs however,so no comment. There were however a few real people who put in their good/bad word about it.
- George Bush: The countries falling to pieces and there is a war in Iraq. All this bought a severe headache to my... you guessed it, head! So I tried out 'Why should I care', and bingo, job done.
- Vegeta: ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!!! But why should I care? No need to be a fag and break this billion dollar scouter.
- Master Yoda: Yeah. My light saber glows and is green and huge. Jealous? Why should I care?
- Grues: Unavailable for comment(fortunately) but I don't think they really care for anybody as long as they are edible.
- Jesus: And thou shalt care for thy friend and foe alike, or the Heavens shall smite thee like it almost did for the maker of the Article thou possibly readeth.
- Kanye West: This article be down like da shit, man. It no care for black people. Bitch ass hoes!
- Samuel L. Jackson: You should motherfuckin' care of those motherfuckin' people, understand mutherfucker!!!