Why?:Is a dead body lying on my couch?

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Front door
Old ass piece of shit.

That had to be the worst day I've ever had at that goddamn place. I don't know why the hell I went to work there in the first place. Who the hell does that new boss of mine think he is? Telling me I am only allowed to take a forty-five minute lunch while he takes three hour breaks! Fuck him! I've worked at that hell-hole for fifteen years! I don't care what Ivy-league college or whatever he went to! He isn't going to tell ME what to do!

Where is that... Oh, here's the key.

CREEEEEAK
BOOM

God I hate that door...

edit HEY HONEY, YOU HOME?

Why Why? 
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Huh, I guess not. Oh yeah, she has to make up some missed time from last week. I swear that bitch... If it hadn't been for her getting pregnant, I could've made something of myself, I swear; I could have been an astronaut! Too bad we couldn't afford an abortion. I don't even think he was mine! He looks nothing like me! His nose is smaller than mine! That asshat looks more like that one guy at the corner store; he always looked at her kinda funny... That cheating bitch...

Oh well... Twenty-two years have passed. No point in making a fuss now... I'll just get something to drink from the kitchen, go in the living room, watch some television, and relax. When she gets home, I'll just go and get us some Burger King or what...

edit Who the hell are you!?!

Hey! Get the fuck out of my house before I call the cops! Wake the hell up! Quit sleeping on my goddamn couch!

What in fucks sakes is wrong with this guy? Hey, assface! Wake your fat ass up! Goddamn! Your parents had to have been uglier than Bill O'Reilly's wife! Hey! Shithead! Wake your disgusting ass up! Are you deaf or what?!? Wake up and get out of my fucking house!

Oh shit... He isn't breathing. Don't... tell me... H-he's... I... can't believe... This guy, he's... He can't be...


THIS GUY IS DEAD!!!


Fuck... There's a dead man on my couch...

edit Why is a dead body lying on my couch?

What the fuck is going on here? Who the hell is this guy?!? And what the hell was this guy doing in my house, lying on my couch? He doesn't have a weapon or anything... No car keys, no wallet... This cheap-ass doesn't even have any money on him! What an asshole!

Okay, what am I going to do? I can't call the cops. If I do, what would I say to them: "Hey, I just got home and found this guy laying dead on my couch; I don't know who he is."? I'd get arrested for murder faster than a hooker will take your money. Oh shit. What am I going to do? I know!

edit I'll just get rid of the body!

That's it! Nobody knows this guy is here! All of the neighbours are either at work or out cheating on their spouse. Their little brats are still probably at school wondering why haven't they been picked up yet. That means there isn't anyone who would see me putting this body in the trunk! Ha! It's just perfect! It'll be another three hours before that fat wife of mine is suppose to be home! I will just dump his body off in the lake nearby, then go and get some McD's! No one will be the wiser!

Huh, his face kinda looks familiar... Eh, I'm imaging things... I don't know this fucking guy. Yuck! He's starting to stink. I had better hurry up!

edit Three hours later

Cquote1 Honey, I'm home! Did you get anything to eat? I'm starving. Cquote2
Oh yeah, darling. I just got back. Here's your food.
Cquote1 Great. Hey, did Johnny come by? Cquote2
What?!
Cquote1 Yes. Did our baby come by? He called me and said he wanted to ask us something after we got off work. Didn't he come by? Cquote2
Uh, nope. Haven't seen him since he came over last week...
Floating in the Lake
Oh fuck... That was... Shit.


Why Featured Why? Article Featured on the 14th of July 2009
  This Why? has been featured on the Why? namespace.   Why?   Because it's good, that's Why?  
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