Why Why? 
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I look like this kid naked! OH GOD!!! THE ITCHING!!!

Oh god! It's all itchy!

Hey Frank, shave your pubes! It'll make your dick look, like, a lot bigger!

Thanks TED! It doesn't look bigger at all, you fat liar! All it looks like now is I'm a fucking six year old boy! And it's itchy, too!

Why the fuck did I do that!? Edit

Biggest. Mistake. Of. My. Life. Even bigger than that hooker I got that one time in Reno... OH GOD THE ITCHING!!! PLEASE! Just make it stop!

Oh God... It'll be even worse when it starts growing back... THE STUBBLES!!! FUCK!!!! Please, not the stubbles!

What the hell was I thinking?

And I used a rusty razor, too! Edit


I had new razors, but I used a rusty one! WHY!?!

And I nicked it a few times! I think I'll need a tetanus shot now! The blood. And all the itching!!! I might as well have jacked off with anti-freeze! It hurts so bad!!!

Rubbing alcohol? Edit

Well... I do have to clean the cuts... OW!!! HOLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!


I swear Ted! Edit

The next time I fucking see you, you're getting your ass kicked. Fuck. I gotta pee... Maybe it won't -- SHITHEAD!!!

... Edit

Fuck... Well, I'm a girl now. I'm gonna miss you, penis.


Now I need to clean up.