| Why? |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
Ever find yourself just trying to edit Uncyclopedia and you find you have banned by some fucktard admin? Yeah? It happens to me all the time, and I'm not just saying they suck balls. So, what should you do? You should de-op every single administrator!
edit Why should the damn bastards be de-opped
There is a multitude of reasons why everyone of these fuckers should be stripped, both of their powers and of their actual clothes.
edit They all have tiny penises
Yes. All of the admins on this godforsaken site have tiny penises. I mean, why else would they be the administrator on a humour wiki? Certainly not because they are funny. If they were funny, they would all be writing for David Letterman. Are they? I doubt it!
Plus, they are on this site monitoring every edit constantly. They are jealous of your funny edits and revert them. How dare they not like jokes about your gay teacher! You and your friends happen to find it extremely funny, and so should other people! If they don't, they are just fucking fascists! And don't forget that they have tiny cocks. That is quite important, however, you informing the admins of their genital deficiencies have already gotten you banned longer once. So just remember, they all have tiny penises and will never be able to satisfy a woman. Sure, you do as well but you don't redirect your anger and shame towards unsuspecting editors on a humour site.
edit They are jealous
As previously stated, the administration is jealous of your funniness and your writing ability. Assuming one of these bastards just huffed your article, you can rest assured that they will recreate it under their account and then feature it. If you attempt to protest this, you will be re-banned in a sort of Stalin-esque censorship. Fucking 1984 type shit.
edit They like to feel important
Not only do they have undeniably small genitals and are jealous of your beautiful work, they are also insecure in their impact on the future. They pollute the streets, spray-paint Oscar Wilde on billboards, and then try to pass off their shitty pieces of shit as humourous.
Seriously, these bastards are so pathetic they keep track of all of the unfunny shit they have written and then featured themselves. This is all in a pathetic attempt to force future generations to see the shit they have done, environmentally and on the Internet. This infuriates Al Gore in so many ways it's not even fucking funny.
Several administrators will show up once a year to throw their weight around like the fat bastards they are and to remind everyone that they are here. This is probably because their girlfriends on Chatroulette no longer wish to talk to them.
edit What you can do
Now, I know what you're thinking, "I'll just move their fucking user page to 'Whichever admin it is' is a fucking homogay!" Sadly, this will get you infini-banned (if the op hasn't already abused his power and protected his user page for no real reason). Trust me, I've tried it.
No, let me give you some advice on what you should do.
edit Make a forum about it
The Village Dump is a great place to complain. Make a forum about de-opping each and every admin individually. Remember to add a stupid poll on it. It doesn't matter if the bastard admins or one of their cronies move the forum to BHOP or if the poll on the forum doesn't come out in your favour. We all know that if something has a poll on it then it is official policy and then all the administrators will be removed from power.
edit Try to become an administrator yourself
You do not necessarily have to just de-op the administration. It is actually possible to become one of these unfunny bastards yourself by sucking cock, doing countless edits removing the oh-so-funny Chuck Norris jokes you included whilst on various sockpuppet accounts, and by becoming everyone's little cum-dumpster.
Unfortunately, this will probably fail and they will appoint one of their stupid friends as an administrator rather than you. That or they will simply talk about sandwiches rather than getting another sysop as none of these cuntfucks wish to share the spotlight with anybody. Instead, they will simply claim that it is around the time of the year more admins become active on the site again.
edit Claim to be the creator of the site!
By claiming to be the creator of the site, you are sure to scare some of these bastards shitless. And since most of these fucks were not around during the time the site was actually created, I'm sure it will work for quite some time. However, there are a handful of bastards that have been around since the creation of Uncyclopedia and know you are not the founder. So, what should you do now? It is quite simple. Claim to be the co-founder of the site! That bastard is never on, and nobody remembers him either. Not even the founder.
edit If that fails...
You can always complain to President Obama to get them de-opped, but he is incompetent, too. Just ask Sarah Palin. She will tell you with that folksy accent she's got going. If that happens, email the Pope. Be sure to promise him the blood of virgin altar boys. Sending pictures helps. If you go this route, you should remember how slow The Church gets shit done. They are just now getting to the resurrection of Jesus after almost 2000 years of waiting. So, unless you want to wait 2000 years, I do not recommend this method.
Another thing you can do is to buy the site domain and become staff on the site. Then you can de-op and op whomever you want whenever you so please. However, a site that receives over 10 million visits a month is quite expensive and you do not know jack about running a site, so this is clearly not an option. If only you hadn't insulted all the geeks at your school... They probably know what a server is and all that crap.
edit One last thing you can try
You can write several articles that appease the unfunny admins and garner a lot of site support. Everyone will love you so much that they will complain the next time an admin says anything against you. The admin will be de-opped for making you leave. After that, you will become an admin because nobody wants to see you leave again. That is sure to work. It will not come off that you are an egotistical fuck and that everyone will make fun of you after you leave in a big fuss over absolutely nothing. Nope. Everyone will side with you forever and always.
Clearly, I have had quite a bit of experience with the administration of the site. I'm sure you are wondering what my motivation is behind wanting the admins de-opped. Well, the true reason why I want every single admin de-opped is because they are all unfunny nitwits from Britain or America.
Now, will somebody fucking de-op Xamralco already?! He keeps deleting everything I do! It's not cool! I'm funny dammit! Also, can he send me nudes of himself? I heard he was an under-aged boy, and I do not think it is fair that only his grandfather has touched him. I should be permitted to, too!